Wow! My DS is soooo angry about weaning!!

[Neal]

I've dropped down to 2 feeds a day (once when he wakes up and once before bedtime) and now I have to pry him off me after a half hour on one boob!!  He has worn a hole in the other one with his teeth and I have to wait for it to heal.  OUCH! 

Anyway, he's 13 months old and it seems like instead of gradually lessening his feedings, he's wanting more and pitches a fit when I take the boob away.  He throws the sippy cup across the room when I try to give it to him while he's having one of his tantrums, so that idea is nixed. 

Right now, he's screaming bloody murder and when I go in there to check on him, he grabs for my boobs and tries to pull my shirt up.  When I won't let him, he gets soooo mad and cries...you know that incredibly angry cry that they do?  Double the noise, and that's Andrew!!

All I want is for him to understand that it's time to stop feeding when I say it's time.  If only he understood logic.   :lol:


Anyone have any ideas for me?

[twiceamama]

Hi Neal!
I hear ya!... Weaning was tough for us too... mostly because the breast was definetly WAY more than just milk! I now realize I used it as a comfort item... I was in such a dilemma that Tracy helped me with this... You can look at a detailed post about this in the toddler sleep board.
Let me just say to you what Tracy told me: Teach him that your whole body can comfort him, not just your breast. Hug him a lot during the day, play with him and tell him you love him. And we used a kitchen timer to set a time limit and when it sounded I took her off, after a day and a half or so, she AUTOMATICALLY let go! (Tracy told me it was kind of a Pavlov experiment!)
Anyway, I hope this helps a bit and know... I get you!
Hugs

[twiceamama]

Hi Neal!
I hear ya!... Weaning was tough for us too... mostly because the breast was definetly WAY more than just milk! I now realize I used it as a comfort item... I was in such a dilemma that Tracy helped me with this... You can look at a detailed post about this in the toddler sleep board.
Let me just say to you what Tracy told me: Teach him that your whole body can comfort him, not just your breast. Hug him a lot during the day, play with him and tell him you love him. And we used a kitchen timer to set a time limit and when it sounded I took her off, after a day and a half or so, she AUTOMATICALLY let go! (Tracy told me it was kind of a Pavlov experiment!)
Anyway, I hope this helps a bit and know... I get you!
Hugs

[jaxnp]

Oh gosh, that sounds really tough!  I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation--maybe give in!  Have you been weaning gradually or is this sudden?  Did you drop all of the daytime feedings at once?  Have you tried replacing the feedings with snacks that he likes instead of milk in a sippy?

[GraceKellysmom]

Katherine's suggestions of snacks is a great one. I've been keeping Max busy around nursing time and also throwing up his schedule to see if he is interested in dropping a feed.

Another thought I am having. It seems like my ds (12.5 months) is having a major seperation anxiety thing right now. He wants to be held all the time, whining frequently, not playing well by himself. I think I remember this with Grace and maybe now is just not a good time to wean?

[CaedensMama]

I am thinking like davidsmom - maybe go back to another feed or two during the day and try again in another week or two to drop those feeds. Maybe check too with La Leche Legues website and see if they have any suggestions.

[Neal]

He's been on am and pm nursing for about a month, now.  Today was ok, though.  I literally have to get up and leave his room with him after the morning feeding and distract him with a toy or a book.  That worked kinda well.

And, yes, the separation anxiety is a BIG problem these days.

I think the nighttime thing was because he's been sick with a fever virus.  When you're a year old and have a 104 fever, you'd want a boob, too!!! 

He's asleep...for now...hopefully he'll stay that way. 

Thanks for all the help.  Maybe I'll try and bring in a snack tomorrow morning.  That is, if he'll eat it.  That's a whole other question!

Toddler sleep board...Hmmm...I'll go there, too!!

[twiceamama]

The ladies are right! Snacks were a big part of our weaning plan! After all we went through, I can tell you I literally looked everywere for USEFUL info until I got Tracy to help me...
And La Lache League stands for letting children self-wean mostly... that means 2, 3, 4 years? I don´t think they´ll actually support your goal really.

Best of Luck!

[GraceKellysmom]

The other thing we did when weaning Grace was just to change her schedule. To drop the first morning feed, we just took her straight from crib to highchair and fed her breakfast. I gave her a snack before her morning nap instead of nursing. I took her straight to high chair after the afternoon nap for a snack. And dh put her to sleep instead of me for a few nights to wean that last feed. Although she didn't like the breast for comfort really, she had her pacifier for that, and distraction instead of nursing worked well.

[♥ MaryAnn ♥]

I hope you don't mind me joining the conversation.  We are down to AM and PM feedings now, and I would like to drop one more, I thought it would be easiest to drop the am feed first since the PM feed is part of his bedtime ritual, but I have read that many moms drop the pm feed first and save the am for last. Is there a better way to do it?  DS just turned one and has been a terrible napper practically his whole life, I am hoping that if I drop the AM feed that he will sleep later (because he doesn't expect to be fed right away. . .)  any thoughts on that??

Thanks!

[Samuel's mum]

mbench - this conversation is over 3 years old but we can start a new one!

It's a toss-up as to whether to drop the am or pm next. If you drop the am he may sleep later or really may not and wake at the same time and be impossible to resettle. With the pm feed it may be an idea to adjust where it happens in the bedtime process so it is less and less part of the ritual and one day it is easier to drop (if you are weaning). So if it is practically the last thing at the moment insert a gentle cuddle/ song at least.