I need some help with A time!

[jwhitt]

DS is 6.5 months old.  I think he's about ready to drop the catnap.  He's down to normally taking 1 long (1.5-2 hours) and 2 short (usually one around an hour and a 30-45 minute catnap) naps a day.  If his first nap is long, he gets OT by bedtime with the 2 short naps in a row.  If the second one is long, he has a really hard time going to sleep for the catnap.  I'm having a hard time deciding where we need to go with A time.  We were doing 2 hours 15 minutes pretty consistently and that was working.  Then all of the sudden that A time gave us a 35 minute nap.  So I tried extending, same result, so I thought he was OT and went back to the 2.25 hours and still a short nap (I was able to get him to resettle and go back down about 90% of the time).

So I gave up trying to just figure it out and went with his cues.  Here's where it gets crazy!  The first day he was up for 3 hours!  I thought for sure we'd have a short nap but he slept 2 hours.  Then his second nap was short after 2.5 hours A time and he wouldn't resettle which usually means OT for him.  We had another 3 hour A time day with a 1.5+ hour nap with 2 short naps after that.  Then yesterday he was obviously sleepy after 2 hours so I put him down for his first nap after 2 hrs. 10 min A time and he slept 2 hours.  But again, the second nap was short and he wouldn't resettle.  So now I have no idea where he stands with A time since he's had long naps with a little over 2 hours and with 3 hours...that's a BIG difference!

We're also having NW's again which I'm pretty sure are due to his daytime sleep not being distributed correctly.  I'm not sure if I should just start trying everything I can to get him to extend the second nap if he takes a long first one and try to go with 2 naps or what. 

ETA: This morning he had 2 hours 40 minutes of A time and napped for an hour.  I'm so confused!!  We'll see what he does this afternoon....

[jwhitt]

I forgot about our routine.  I can't do EASY with him right now because he wakes up to eat around 5:00-5:30am and then isn't hungry when he wakes for the day at 7 or 7:30.  I've tried feeding him less at 5 but if he doesn't get to nurse on both sides he just cries and won't go to sleep until he does.  Here's what today's been so far:

7:05 wake
9:00 eat
9:45-10:45 nap
12:30 eat (he fell asleep during this feeding, which he does occasionally since he's not really on EASY)
12:50-2:40 nap (he woke up after 35 minutes I'm assuming because he was UT since he had barely over 2 hrs. of A time and was back asleep in less than 10 minutes and slept the rest of the time)

I'll nurse him again around 4 and I'm going to TRY to get him to take a catnap around 5.  I know it's going to be hard to get him to go to sleep then because of the long 2nd nap.  He refuses to sleep at all if we're out so taking him for a walk or a drive isn't an option.  But I also know for a fact if he doesn't get sleep then he'll be up and down all night long.

[deckchariot]

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}} it sounds like naps are crazy right now.....

At 6.5 mos, most bubs are doing 2.75 - 3 hrs, so my guess is that he does need a longer A time.  It looks like you've been trying a bunch of different options with A time and I'm wondering if you just need to stick with one for a few days and see if it begins to sort out his day.  Is his first A time of the day often his shortest?  If so, I'd start there - maybe start with 2.75 hrs of  A time for at least 3 days and see what happens.  If he naps longer than 1 hr, keep the same A time before his next nap.  If he naps less than 45 min, shorten up the next A time a bit so he doesn't get OT.  If the 2nd nap is short too, offer the catnap.  Most bubs give up the catnap between 6-8 mos, so offering it some days and not on others is perfectly normal at his age.

Have you started solids yet?  I'm wondering if that factors into anything too.....

hang in there!!
michelle

[jwhitt]

Ok, I haven't checked back in after I posted this!

We've done 2.5 hours of A time in the morning and that seems to be working well.  He took a 1.5 hour nap Monday, we were out yesterday so he missed it all together, but today he's been down for almost 1.5 hours on that A time.

I'm going to *try* 2.75 between the 2 naps today.  I tried on Monday and he was sooo sleepy by 2.5 hours so I put him down then and he was up after 45 minutes, but did resettle after about 10 minutes and slept for another 45 minutes.  He still had a short catnap on Mon (I woke him up after 30 min) and he had a GREAT night.  No extra NW's and only woke to eat around 5am and then went back down til 7:15.

My question is when is it better to put him in bed early and when is it better to squeeze the catnap in?  I guess that's probably one of those things that I'll just be able to figure out when I get there.  Like, if he wakes from his 2nd nap after 3 that's way to long for him to be up before his 7:00 bedtime, but I don't want to be putting him down for a catnap at 5:30 either.  If he takes a catnap that late should I keep him up a little later at bedtime?  I generally try to not let him sleep past 5:30 for his catnap.

Yes, he does eat solids but only once a day at "dinnertime".  I would be doing morning but he barely wants to nurse in the morning so I don't think he's ready for "breakfast" just yet....

Thanks for the help...it seems like right at 6.5 months the amount of A time he could handle changed overnight!  Up until this point it's changed gradually and been easier to keep up with!

ETA: he did 2 hrs. 45 min between naps today and we got a 45 minute nap.  I went ahead and got him up because it was 2:30.  That way I know we can fit in a catnap and have regular bedtime.  I guess we'll shoot for closer to 3 hours between the naps tomorrow.

[deckchariot]

it sounds like you really know your bub and you're doing a great job!!!  You might want to try at least another day with 2 hr 45min between naps - sometimes the change in A time doesn't "kick in" with longer naps immediately, I'd give it at least 2 days before switching it immediately (3 days is even better).  You're definitely doing the right thing by offering the catnap if the naps are short. 

In terms of whether early bedtime or late catnap works better - depends on your bub.  If he's on the low end of sleep, and early bedtime can mean an EW even if he's getting a full night of sleep.  For example, if he generally needs 11 hrs a night and you put him to bed at 6:30 - then you're looking at a 5:30 wake up - and he'll be ready for the day.  If he loves his night sleep, you may find that the early bedtime works really well for him.  Also, if he doesn't need a lot of A time before bed, a late catnap will work just fine for him.  and yes, you can push his bedtime out a tad to squeeze in that catnap if you want.

It looks like you're doing really well!!!

[jwhitt]

Argh.  His catnap today was all of 15 minutes!  I don't know what happened.  Well, actually I do.  He hadn't pooped today and needed to and I actually waited a little while before starting his wind down for the catnap because I knew it was coming.  So he woke up after 15 minutes and did his thing...lol.  By that time it was 5:20 because he fought me going down too and there really wasn't any point in trying to get him  back down then.  I can pretty much guarantee we'll have a bad night tonight now.....tomorrow is another day!

[deckchariot]

I hate the nap-busting poop!!!!  But you are right - tomorrow is another day!!  Hang in there!!!

[jwhitt]

Ack!!  I think the 2 hrs. 45 minutes between naps 1 and 2 is too much for him!  He had 2 days of 45 minute naps on that A time then today he only slept for 30 min.  He was happy so I left him for 30 minutes that way.  He started crying and when I went in he still seemed tired so I attempted to get him back down.  After 15 minutes he went back to sleep but only slept another 5.  This more than likely means OT, right?

He's doing well on 2.5 hours of A time first thing in the morning (actually it's been more like 2 hrs. 25 min).  He's taken a 1.5 hour nap every day I've kept him up that long.  Should I go all the way back to 2.5 hours between naps or do you think I should only cut back by 5 or 10 minutes?

Good news is though, nights have been better all week!  He had one night where he woke up and cried at 12:45 but in the time it took me to get out of bed and get outside his door he had stopped.  Other than that he's only been up to eat once each night and hasn't had any EW's...which were KILLING us last week!  In more ways than one since when he makes any noise at all between 5-6am my 2 year old wakes up and thinks it's morning!

[jwhitt]

We had an EW this morning so I think that's thrown today off.  I'm guessing this was due to the 30 min second nap yesterday.  He was up at 5:35 crying.  So I went in and he calmed down and would lay still in his crib as long as he could see me in the room but if I moved out of his sight, he would roll over and cry again.  So I stood in there until 6:30 but I don't know that he ever really went back to sleep.  He was still for awhile though.

I went ahead and put him down for his first nap at 9 and he slept an hour.  Then I did 2 hrs. 35 min. between naps and he slept for 47 (yes I timed it exactly!) minutes.  He woke up crying so I went in, picked him up and calmed him down.  I laid him back down and patted his back for about 10 minutes and he went back to sleep.  He's been back down for about 10 minutes right now.  I guess I'll stick with this for a few days and see how he does.

He's always seemed to be on the shorter end of A time he can handle so I guess he's just a little bit behind in moving to being able to stay up for the average for his age.  I will say I'm MORE than ready for him to drop his catnap.  I just wish he'd get on board...lol.

[deckchariot]

I was just going to suggest cutting back only by 5 or 10 min - and that's exactly what you did   Well done!!  I suspect because you're seeing 45 min naps, then a 30 min nap that he's on the verge of being able to do 2 hr 45 min, but he's just not there yet.  the 47 min nap would normally indicate UT, but the fact that you were able to get him back to sleep fairly easily (and that he woke up crying) would indicate OT - so I suspect 2 hr 35 or 2 hr40 will be about right, but in a couple weeks, he'll be at 2 hr 45.  You're doing a fantastic job!!!

I totally hear you about the catnap - dd refused hers more often than not, so I was glad when I could finally just give up trying altogether!!

[debo620]

just marking, I feel like my son is at a similar stage.

[jwhitt]

I was busy during his catnap yesterday afternoon and I think I let him sleep to long!  He ended up staying back down for almost another hour during his second nap yesterday (total nap time 1 hr 50 min with a 10 minute break in the middle) so he was late on the catnap...didn't go down til a little before 5.  He woke up at 5:45 and was NOT ready for bed last night!  He was hungry at 7 so he drank his bedtime bottle then but it was 8 before he went to sleep then he was wide awake at 6:15 this morning.  Note to self...limit that catnap to 30 minutes!!  But he didn't have any extra NW's...woke at 3:45 to eat and that was it.

We had church this morning so he didn't get down for his nap until 9:45 (3.5 hours of A time) but he's been down for almost an hour at this point.  He did doze on the drive home and sometimes that helps him get past the 45 minute mark on his naps when he would normally be OT.  Looks like we may only have 2 naps today at this point....

Yes the catnap drives me NUTS!  He fights me going down every single day and it's just a busy time of day for us!  I'm trying to get dinner ready, DH is getting home from work, my 2 year old is getting hungry and cranky.  It all makes putting a baby down for a nap pretty darn near impossible some days!

[debo620]

I am so with you on the catnap--your house sounds exactly like mine at that time of day!

[jwhitt]

Yay!  2 good days in a row!  Yesterday he was up for 2.75 hours between naps and only slept an hour.  He did only get 2 naps yesterday because we were out yesterday evening, but he slept great last night even with about 4 hrs. of A time between his last nap and bedtime....not something I want to do every day but it's nice to know that now we can do that occasionally and not pay the price!

Today we went ahead and tried 2.75 hours of A time before nap #1 and he slept for 1 hr. 20 min.  Then 3 hours between naps and he slept for 2 hours!!!  Yaaaay!

I'm thinking I might try to stretch him out a LITTLE bit longer first thing in the morning, but I'll probably give it a few days before we start changing anything up again.

Thanks for all the help!

[deckchariot]

well done!!!  It looks like you are doing exactly the right thing for your bub!!!  I always give a routine a few days to settle before I start extending A time any more, so looks like you're right on track there!! YAY for you!!!!