16 month old waking up from naps grumpy...takes 45 minutes to calm him down

[newmom11]

okay, so this one has me baffled.  my 16 month old almost always wakes up grumpy.  no matter how long he sleeps...he wakes up so grumpy and will have tantrums and whine and won't settle for a good 45 minutes after he's been awake.  he cries if i hold him, he cries if i put him down, he climbs up on my lap and tries to be held and then when i hold him, he still cries and tries to get off of my lap...only for him to climb back on again.  i've tried giving him milk after he wakes up, a snack, a little tv (which normally i'm opposed to).  i've also tried reading, playing, etc.  i can't figure it out...why is he so grumpy.  he goes to bed very happily and is usually in a pretty good mood before he goes to sleep, but then he wakes up in a terrible mood and only does this for naps.  he wakes up super happy in the mornings.  any ideas?  anybody else dealing with this?  he usually naps for about 2 hours, but sometimes it's only for 1.5 hours and sometimes it's more like 2 hours and 15 minutes.  he usually wakes up on his own, but occassionally i'll have to wake him up to protect a reasonable bedtime and those are the worst days...but on days like today, he just woke up crying.  it has me baffled and discouraged b/c dealing w/ a crying fussy toddler for 45 minutes is NOT FUN!!!!!

[becky1969]

How long have the grumpy wakings been going on?

[newmom11]

several weeks now.  today it was only about 15 mins of grumpiness (but i was SUPER patient with him) and other days it's as long as 45 minutes.  his nap was short today (only an hour and 40 mins) and he woke up crying.  when i went in to get him (gave him plenty of time to go back to sleep, but he clearly wasn't going back to sleep), he threw this tantrum when i went in to get him up out of the crib.  thankfully i read him a book or two which distracted him.  he had a few short lived tantrums in the middle of the stories, but then he was done being grumpy and has been great the rest of the afternoon.  it's almost like he sleeps so hard that he wakes up out of it and needs a few minutes to wake up.  he wakes up super happy in the mornings and will talk in his crib for sometimes 45 minutes before wanting to get out.  just can't figure it out.  

[becky1969]

Sounds like he just needs a little more transition time between waking and getting up and moving around.  Books are a great way to do that, and you might just start with that.  You know your son best, so if he likes quiet and not a lot of talking when he first wakes, do that.  if he needs low lights, do that.  If he enjoys music, perhaps turn on something soothing to help him with the transition.

I think really you've just got a little dude who's 1 and discovering his emotions.    1 was a really tough age at our house; I always said it was like Owen was PMSing 24/7.     He had all these emotions, but didn't understand them or know what to do about them.  In other words, they are going from being infants to being children and the transition is difficult!

I'm afraid you're probably going to see several phases like this over the next year.  There's not a whole lot you can do but love them thru the changes they're going thru, physically and emotionally.  You can see why age 1 was when I started fantasizing about leaving my son in the woods to be raised by wolves.    Age 2 was a breeze compared to 1!