Separation Anxiety leading to sleep issues? HELP

[becky1969]

Teething can def. bring on separation anxiety.  I'd medicate with Motrin rather than tylenol -- it lasts longer and it also tends to help with teething pain better.

[kp#01]

I just give it to her at night.  If I give it every night for 1 week is that ok?

[becky1969]

1 dose a day for a week is fine.  I've done 1 dose a day for a month.  Not ideal, but under the circumstances better than gouging out my eyes or leaving Owen in a snowdrift! 

[hokie97]

See if you can get Hylands teething tablets too - those were what finally helped our LO to sleep (in addition to motrin because motrin alone wasn't enough for him).  BTW - he's still sleeping through the night and we are laying on the floor - almost out the door before bed. GW does work for getting good sleepers back on track! In fact, last night, he laid down almost immediately. I left his room when i thought he was asleep. 5 minutes later his music went off and I heard "mommy".  I waited to see if he would lay down and just go to sleep w/o me in the room and he did.  Big sigh of relief!  We'll still complete GW until we are OUT of the room though to be consistent.  Can't thank BW enough for the encouragement.  Good luck KP#1

[kp#01]

Thank you.  I will get the Hylands tablets.  I used them for her other teeth and don't know why I didn't think of that.  Sleep has gotten better.  Last night wasn't so good.  She got up twice.  She didn't get up Monday night which was great.  I felt like a new person.  It takes her 5 mins maybe to get to bed at night.  I read to her and when I'm done, I turn down the lights and sit at the end of her mattress.  I just play a game on my phone without her knowing and the time goes by fast.  Otherwise I would probably fall asleep too!

Thanks ladies for all of the encouragement.  I'm glad there is a place to come to when you have no idea what to do. 

[kp#01]

Hi ladies I'm back!

Not good news....we still have not been successful.

I give her the hylands and motrin.  She still gets up.  Now i think she is just so attached to me that she doesn't want me to leave her room.

Her prebed routine is perfect.  Bath, read books.  I lie her down on her bed and sit at the edge.  When she falls asleep, I get up and leave.  She is sleeping by 7:30.

She will wake up about 10:30 and cry/scream.  I sit there until I think she is asleep and leave.  However, she knows I've left and screams.  I can't have her screaming because I have a 4 1/2 year old that goes to school every morning.  So I go back in and we do this pretty much all night.

A few times I have slept with her and I have noticed that she is tossing and turning like crazy.  Then she will look up at me, make sure I'm there and go to bed.

Have I created a monster by sleeping with her for only a couple of times?

Nap time is totally fine.  I do the same thing of just sitting at the edge of her bed.  She sleeps from about 12 to 1:30/2pm.

She was such a wonderful sleeper and I just know what the heck has happened and how to stop this.  I haven't had a full night sleep since Christmas.

She will not have anything to do with her dad in the middle of the night either.  She will scream until he walks out.  She only wants me to sit with her.

Any input or reassurances that this will go away is greatly appreciated.

Karen

[becky1969]

The tossing and turning makes me wonder if there's a medical issue at the root.  Waking at 10:30 after a peaceful bedtime at 7:30 screams discomfort to me, too.  If she was just having SA or something, she'd probably wake 6-8 hours after going to bed.  That's a natural rousing period.  But 3 hours in?  That tells me something is bugging.

Was she a reflux baby by chance? If so, reflux may be back.  That happened to us right after my son turned 2 (and I now believe that it never left, but that molars made it worse).  If not, then ear infection? Something else? Bladder infection? I just don't know, but I'd take her in to the doc for a once over.  Do you see any signs of discomfort during the day? Eating differently? Diff. bathroom habits? etc.?

[kp#01]

Hi there,

On Saturday night, my dh and I went out.  My sister put her to bed fine.  But she kept getting up and asking for "ma".  This is why I think maybe its SA. 

During the day she is totally fine.  She has been whining a bit when she gets frustrated when she is trying to tell me something.  She isn't talking yet.  However, the last few days she has learned some new words. 

Last night, she got up at 5 a.m. (this morning), I went into her room and pat her until she went to sleep.  She got up at 8 this morning.  I've also noticed that it is taking her a bit more time to settle down.  If I put her to bed at 6:45.  She won't be sleeping until 7:30. 

Medically, she looks and sounds fine.  I do think however, I will go and get her checked out just to make sure.  What makes me think this is not th case is because the nights I have given her meds, she still gets up.

The joys!!!!

[becky1969]

Can you post her routine again? Maybe there's something we missed first time thru...

[kp#01]

Hi there,

This was her routine:

7 am - wake
8 am - breakfast
10 am - snack
12 pm - sleep
1:30 - wake
3pm - snack
5 - dinner
7 - bed
and repeat......

Now, everything is still the same but she gets up sometimes at 2 a.m., but mostly around 5 a.m.  When she wakes up, she comes into our room, calls me and then wants me to lie with her.  I've tried just sitting and patting her but as soon as I get up, she's up.  If I lie with her she sleeps till about 6:30/7 a.m.

Also, if she gets up in the middle of the night, she just wants me.  If my dh goes in, she will have a fit.  Yesterday evening, I had to go out before bedtime so dh had to put her to bed.  Bed time routine went well, but as soon as it was time for bed, she cried for 15 minutes, got tired out, and fell asleep.  However, she got up at 2:30 a.m. and then I just fell asleep beside her because I'm so exhausted.  I've had a migraine for the last 3 days and I think this lack of sleep is really getting to me now.

[becky1969]

When did all go wrong? And can you pinpoint why?

The one thing I spot is the difference in A time before and after nap.  Before is 5hours and after is at least 5.5, depending on how quickly she falls asleep.  It could be that bedtime is a little too late, causing OT and therefore NWs.  The crying for mama is a pretty normal thing at this age.  Most toddlers show a strong preference for one parent around this time, and I know at our house we went from my DH taking care of all NWs to him being banished from the room by my son in the middle of the night. 

If it were me, I'd move to a 6:30 bedtime and see what happens.


Lots of hugs on the migraines.  I'm a chronic headache sufferer, and there's nothing worse than being woken in the night while suffering from h/a.  My son can sense when I have a migraine as he ALWAYS picks those nights to cause a problem of some kind.    Hang in there! I'll work the problem with you. 

[kp#01]

Hi Becky,

Thank you very much for your help.

Last night, she was in her bed at 6:45 and didn't fall asleep until 7:30.  She was totally testing me while I was sitting with her.  She'd get up, touch me.  I got up told her it was "nini time" and left and then a few minutes later she slowly opened the door and then would close it.  This went on for a few more minutes and then I went back in, pat her and she fell asleep.

She got up 12:30 came into our room and wanted me to come back with her.  I did and pat her and she fell asleep until 6:15 when she was up for the day.

Do you think I need to work on the walking in and walking out?  I'm wondering if me falling asleep with her is allowing her to get used to that.  I am at my wits end.  I haven't had a full night sleep since mid December.  I dread my evenings because I know what is in store for me.  I could just cry at the drop of a dime. 

I am almost considering contacting a "sleep consultant". 

Karen

[I&L's mom]

It's my DH that LO clings to for dear life at sleep times.  I think she's done that because we have a 6mo old that occupies me pretty much all day...  And the sleep issues (same as yours almost exactly) were wearing on both of us but more on DH, because he was handling more of her wakings.  Eventually I took over, because he was getting really worn out and almost beside himself, and it started to take less time for LO to get back to sleep with me, maybe because she's not as attached to me right now   It did make her throw a fit when I went in instead of DH, but I was very matter of fact with her, and when she got really worked up, I've put her in time out to cool her off.  And now she's better at my responding to her NW, which I think is definitely improving at our house after months of this.  Hope that helps.

[becky1969]

Sounds like 6:45 still isn't early enough if it still took 45 mintues to fall asleep.  Believe me, even 15 minutes can make a huge diff. if you're missing the sleep window.

Yeah, I think I would stop the lying with her.  It's become a comfort and a bit of a game, I think.  You're probably going ot have to start some serious WI/WO which is going to be hideous for the first night, but should get progressively better.  Post on the WI/WO board and get specific advice from them.  But right now she's too dependent on you to help her fall asleep.  we need her to go back to independent sleep so that YOU can get some rest!