Author Topic: Mummy struggling with busy nights  (Read 615 times)

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Offline greenmama

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Mummy struggling with busy nights
« on: February 09, 2009, 11:24:16 am »
My ten-month old, on the way to sleeping through at night at 5 and a half months suddenly started waking very frequently. He started teething and was also waking almost every half-hour after I put him down at about 7:30 or 8:00pm. He would cry when I put him down, I'll pick him up to calm him and try to put him down, he'd cry until I feed him. This PU/PD sometimes lasted 2 hours.

He doesn't feed too long at night, maybe for about 10m mins. I feed him one side per feed, so usually move him to give him the next feed. AS a result of this frequent waking, he has moved into our bed while he used to stay in his cot till about 2:00/:3:00am, when he used to wake for his first feed at 5 and a half months. He feeds about 2 - 4 times per nights and sometimes at 5:00am he'll have a 30 min. feed.

He wakes, cries and looks for the breast to feed, pulling at my clothes. He calms immediately when I feed him and goes back to sleep. He also grabs my clothes and hooks his feet around me so I think he is having SA as well.

He has not been eating well since teething but is getting his appetite back since top teeth have come out.

His routine is as follows:

7:00 wakes & plays a while
8:00 breakfast (he doesn't like cereal, trying fruit and will try eggs soon) & then playtime
9:30 nap
10:10 wakes & plays (and rearranges the house) while mum cleans and cooks, sometimes we fit in a morning walk
12:00 lunch
13:00 nap
13:30 wakes and plays
15:30 daddy comes home
16:00 naps
16:30 wakes
17:00 walk
17:30 supper and some playtime
19:00 bath time
20:00 sleep

After putting him down, he wakes almost every 30-40 mins for 2 hours, i.e. from 8-10pm. He usually settles at 10, by which time I have taken him from the cot and have fallen asleep with him, utterly exhausted. He wakes at 12:00am and then at 2:00am and then at 5:00am for short feeds and goes back to sleep.

This is taking its toll on me, am exhausted, relationship with dh suffering, and am not getting to my books at night when he should ideally be sleeping. I am taking on a childminder in the next month as I am a graduate student working on my thesis. I will work from home and be around while the childminder is here.

Any advice would be wonderful as I am becoming soo frustrated with my honey as the daytime naps are bad enough, now my nights have been so exhausting these few months as well. :'(

Greenmama


Offline A pair of Charlies

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Re: Mummy struggling with busy nights
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2009, 15:28:30 pm »
Hi

I've just taken a really really quick look at your routine and I'm wondering if the answer may-be OT. I've jotted some thoughts down, but have a few questions too. The answers may help the Mods and other posters to help you.  :)

Has your LO started cutting the naps short? Or have naps always been short (40m, 30min etc)? I also noticed the A time is short inbetween - which is good when the naps are short.  ;) So in theory, should hold OT at bay. But over the day, your LO looks like getting under 2 hours sleep on a 13 hour day. The last A of the day is also long compared to the others which combined with the unsettled sleeping makes me think OT.

Does your LO sleep / fall asleep independently at night?

Also, you mention that you're feeding alot. Have you already had the 9 month growth spurt or could this be it? During this time, my LO literally ate til his tummy was bulging like Santa's and it lasted on off for a month, still days now when he's back to Santa again. So it could be hunger and more solids needed? You mentioned that while teething he'd been off food too.

The 10 mins feeds sound like it may be more for comfort and a way to get back to sleep, rather than hunger but could also be so tired, that is just getting snacks before dosing off again. Hard to say without knowing how much he's getting in the day. During the day, is he taking full feeds and how often? To eliminate hunger from your list of possible NW causes, you could perhaps introduce a DF between 10 - 11pm for a few nights, giving him a full feed if poss to see if this makes any difference.  An option for the dark hours wakings, may be to offer water instead (but it's a personal choice and not for everyone).

Yet another thought is that I know of quite a few Mamas (including me!) whose milk supply dipped significantly at 9 - 10 months. Could this be another possibility? The BF board have loads of great advice on getting supply up if you think it might be an additional issue.

While teething, did pain meds helped at all? Just trying to check that the NWs aren't more teething troubles...

And lastly, at around 10 / 11 months (sometimes earlier I hear), sleep goes wonky as babes are starting to transition towards needing less sleep overall during the day, but not being able to stay awake long enough to cut down to 1 nap only. I've included a link below to info on this. If you nosy around the sleep boards (naps & NWs) you'll see there's a fair few threads for LOs around this age all experiencing strange goings on. I'm one of them - we're stuck in on OT cycle in the day, UT at night...driving me crazy!! Take a look at the different situations and advice offered - sometimes it's a great way of getting good insights and ideas.  ;)

Here's a few links to some information that might help get a picture of what other babies are up to around this age. But remember, they're all different  :P so my 10 month old will have a different routine to yours....but there are often common themes.:

 * http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85134.0
 * http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10386.150
 * http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=95670.0
 * http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62612.0

So, let me know what you think? And if there's anything we can do to help?

HTH

Charlotte

Offline greenmama

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Re: Mummy struggling with busy nights
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2009, 19:22:26 pm »
Thanks so much, I'll try and shed some light on your questions. My gut feel is that LO is OT and is also experiencing some SA.

Naps started getting shorter at about 4-5 mths and then soon thereafter nights started getting very restless with frequent waking. Yes, LO, on most days gets under 2 hrs sleep unless I nap with him, which I don't always have the luxury to do.

LO doesn't sleep independently, I nurse him after bath time, usually both sides. He is also nursed to sleep for day naps as well.

I must say, it is possible that he is having a growth spurt, he's belly is pretty round & I thought he's been feeding more often because of teething and not eating too much solids for a few weeks. I also thought of giving him more solids, he's eating better these days as the teething discomfort has gone down a bit, he also eats better late morning and afternoon. I gave him pain meds and it helped for teething yes.

Re: the night time feeds, think you're spot-on, it's more comfort at night as he feeds well in the day. He's BF schedule:

Long feed when waking or just before waking (20 mins)
Short feed before he naps at 9:30 am
Long feed at about 11:00 am
Long feed at about 2:00 pm
Long feed late afternoon

Can you explain about the DF please as I find that LO usually settles better after the 10pm feed which I usually give him when he wakes up.

Last question on my side, I'm a graduate student and in the process of getting childcare for LO. I'm looking at 4 mornings a week. The consolation point for me is that I work from home, so I'll be around and LO won't be alone with nanny. Has anyone experienced a situation like this, as some mums have advised me to send him to a daycare facility as I won't get any work done.

Looking forward to advice!

Offline natashacs

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Re: Mummy struggling with busy nights
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2009, 08:08:30 am »
hi Greenmama, my LO is younger than yours so I don't know, butone thing that stood out is that you're moving him from his cot into your own bed. I started doing this to get my LO back to sleep at about 5/6am when he woke, and my night nanny (who helps me when I'm really desperate by doing a night) who is also a maternity nurse said that this would cause more and often and earlier night wakings. Each time the baby stirs she said he would think 'oh maybe this is the time mummy will bring me into bed with her'.
I thought that the baby would know the difference btween waking at 3am for food and waking at 6am becuase its nearly getting up time but apparently not. Anywya, I stopped bringing him in and it has helped. For instance, when he wakes at 5am, I now go in, shove a dummy in his mouth and leave, he goes back to sleep. I used to go in about 20 times, put the dummmy in and then give up and bring him in with me. He prob knew if he kept spitting it out he would eventually get to come to our bed. Now i don't even let him in our room,I want him to completely forget that mummy and daddy's bed even exists!!!
Anyway, just a thought. It's definitely helped. I still have night wakings, and there are prob multiple causes - in my case, hunger sometimes, eczema itching other times, teething, but this moving him from his bed to ours was definitely one of those causes. Just trying to elimate them all.

Also - and I really don't know about this as my LO is younger, but is your LO only having solids once a day, and just cereal? Some of the mums of older kids will be able to advise but he might need more food.