Need some moral support - anxiety over LO's naps

[aurora2711]

Have had some great help from here this last week or so and could do with a bit of advice/moral support!

My LO is nearly 10 weeks old and I'm really struggling at the moment with his sleep - particularly when it comes to nap time.  I'm using shush/pat (or a variation on it - a hand on his chest as the patting seems to upset him!) to get him to sleep which seems to work well most of the time (though I worry that he'll never be able to sttle himself independently) but often he struggles to stay asleep past the dreaded 45 mintues with the result that by bedtime he is hideously overtired and soooo difficult to settle.  I'm finding that I wake every morning feeling anxious about the day ahead - will he nap, won't he, will I have to deal with a hysterical, tired baby at bedtime??  We are having good days and on those days he's like a different baby!  I absolutely love him to bits and sometimes I feel like I'm not enjoying him as much as I should because I spend all my days stressing over his sleep! 

Someone please tell me it will get easier!

[*Liz*]

Hugs - I think its just so hard when they are so little.

I used to do sleep training for a few days then use a bit of AP to catch lo up again if he had got over tired and then try again.

Someone on here also suggested using AP for the catnap on a bad nap day to stop the night being swful so you at least feel fresh enough to last the next day.

But its so important to get out and enjoy being a mum and not stress too much.

I was naughty and got very off track with my lo with lots of buggy rides - and have now started the process all over again - BUT it is easier now that he is 5 mths - he seems to be catching on so much quicker. And I think I did the right thing for me - as I really enjoyed watching him start learning loads of new things and meeting some other mummies with the same issues.

A 3-4 mths old baby is just so much fun - when they coo, and start 'talking', and stare at their hands for hours on end thinking 'my gosh look what I've got!'.

I'm sure one of the experienced EASY people will give you some nap advice - but you are not alone and it does get much easier

[anna*]

I know this is easier said than done, but try not to worry too much. Your LO is still soooo young, and getting through those sleep cycle transitions is a skills he's working hard to learn! It's absolutely common and expected for very young ones to need some help to get past 45 mins.

As PP said, don't be afraid to resort to accidental parenting to get him caught up on sleep towards the end of the day - all the practise you've put in wont be put to waste. I think a great thing to do is to head out with him in the pram, nicely swaddled, and go for a good long walk. It will do you both good to get some fresh air, it will clear your head, and lots of babies nap miraculously well when on the move in the pram.

Try sneaking in to him at 35 mins and laying a hand on his back and seeing if you can ease him through that 45 mins transition. If you can't, and shh-pat isn't settling him back to sleep, don't worry about it. Get him up, enjoy some quiet, low-key A time, and get him down for his next nap early - don't leave it until the next 'scheduled' nap time or you will definitely end up with an OT baby boy. It's totally fine to have lots of short naps if you can't manage fewer long ones.

(((hugs))) enjoy each other. These precious days when he is so tiny pass so quickly.

anna
x

[aurora2711]

Thank you so much for your quick responses!  We're having another day of short naps so far - he's asleep at the mo so will try and sneak in at 35 mins and see if I can get him through that 45 minute transition.  Fingers crossed!  And as it's a nice sunny day and not snowing as yet I think we'll go out for a good long walk this afternoon!

I can start this as a new post if it's easier but just wanted to clarify A times too - I know we should be looking at 1hr15 - 1hr 20 minutes at his age but I'm not sure if this means he should be asleep after this amount of time or is this the time I should be putting him down after his wind-down.  At the moment I'm putting him into his moses basket after 1hr 15-20 and then it can take anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes before he falls asleep...can someone just clarify if I'm doing this right?

[anna*]

Hi there - yes, A time is all the time they spend awake. In the book it's called Activity time but I find it easier to think of it as Awake time. So they should be asleep or very close to it by 1hr 20mins. So you might find it easier (and it's possible he might sleep longer) if you got him into his moses basket at say 1hr 10 and then hopefully he'll be nodding off at 1hr 20.

Just a note on A times though, remember they are just a guide and the most important thing is to watch your baby for cues. I would treat the guideline A times as a maximum - so watch for cues, but if he's not showing tired signs by 1hr 10, start heading for a nap anyway.

HTH

anna
x

[aurora2711]

Thanks, will try that for his next nap and see if it makes any difference.  Crept in at the 35 minute mark but didn't manage to ease him through the transition without a bit of gentle shushing - the jolts at 40 minutes and 45 were huge - poor thing, i'm not surprised he wakes up!  On the plus side, he did go back to sleep and it looks like I'm going to get another 45 minutes out of him so that's good!

[anna*]

It's great that he went back to sleep! Is he swaddled? A good firm swaddle can really help them get through those jolts.

anna
x

[aurora2711]

Hi Anna

Yes, he is swaddled but when he jolts he also seems to fling his head around and I think that could be what wakes him up sometimes.  He also has a sheet tucked in over his legs as he has a tendency to lift them right up in the air and then wake himself up when they hit the mattress again.  In the days when he did some of his sleeping downstairs with us he used to have DH and I in hysterics watching these little swaddled legs appearing out of the top of the moses basket every now and then!  I know he can get through the jolts as on good days he will easily nap for an hour and a half or two hours and he sleeps brilliantly at night.  It's just frustrating that it's not consistent and I never know what sort of day we're going to have. 

Thanks again for your help today - he's sleeping soundly now so will see what tomorrow brings and try not to get too stressed out x