Paci went cold turkey. Have I "hurt" my LO?

[meridot]

Hi there,

 My daughter is 16 months old, used to take a paci only during travel, changing table, and naps.  Gradually she began to want it all the time and would get so cranky!  She has very little frustration tolerance as it is, so it seemed to help her be more patient.  She is also very shy and has had some pretty intense SA spells.  At her 15-month doctor's visit, the ped. said we should eliminate the paci.  So the next day I just got rid of it!  It just disappeared.  And she seemed fine, generally.  She is now talking a lot, has started walking (was working on that anyway), and when is awake can generally be quite happy to play by herself for long stretches.  But, she wants to nurse A LOT.  We used to nurse no more than 4 times a day and now she wants to nurse 3-4 times in the morning, plus anytime we leave the house and go somewhere new. It's now like 8 times a day... and I've never wanted to wean more.  I'm exhausted!   She sticks her hand down my shirt a lot too (was doing that before the paci went away, because I asked the ped about it and she said the LO was "seeking contact"). 

Well, I'm wondering I haven't shaken her up and made her overly insecure by removing the paci cold turkey.  She has been having a horrific time napping since then.  I mean, we were having a little trouble before, to the extent that I thought maybe it was the 2-1 switch happening.  But lately it has been terrible.  At most a 40 minute nap, once a day, and we're waking generally between 5am and 5:30am and trying to get her to bed by 7 at the absolute latest.  We feel trapped in this awful OT / SA loop (because they do seem to be interconnected... when she's tired she's more inclined to cling to me) and have no idea how to get out of it!  We can't rest because we never know how long the nap is going to be, and we can't get enough night sleep because she wakes so early.  We've been asking on the naps and feeding boards but haven't really made any progress.  I can't help thinking it's all connected: did I really shake up her world too much by eliminating the paci cold turkey?  We're just looking for anything to help figure this out and get back on track!

Just curious what others have experienced.

[RyansMum]

Hi i don't think you have hurt her. Why did they recommend removing it, was it disturbing her too much like at night?

I would say she likes the sucking and thats why she is going for the boob now she no longer has the dummy. Does she have a lovey?  A comforter at all?

[meridot]

Hi,

As for the lovey, she hasn't really latched on to anything else.  She has a doll or two that she cuddles with occasionally, but she hasn't really expressed a true attachment to them.  As for the doctor, I guess she thought it was a problem.  I'm not sure, really.

[RyansMum]

OK question is then did you find it a problem? Some people like to get rid of them cos they disturb sleep and they can be up and down replugging. I let my lo have one till he was 2.5 then went cold turkey cos he was old enough to understand that I had to take it away. I have read someone else say they thought it was best to either get rid when they are a few months old or when they can understand like after the age of 2.

I restricted the use to sleep only except when he was very small when he got cranky.  Perhaps the doc thought you were using it too much rather than letting her figure out how to self soothe.

If it was not a prob you could reintroduce it or give it a bit of time to see if she forgets, perhaps not let her have the boob all the time? Only you can tell what would make you both happy.

[Vicku]

Hi there!
My thoughts were very much like RyansMum's actually. I'm sure she wants the boob more as that's also sucking and sucking comforts her.
16 months is a good age to get rid of a paci during the day, if the LO is still having it in the day as well as for sleep. When we took away the dummy from my DD in the days we bought her a nice shiny little box, she got a new lovey (that Katt on here sent us ) and told her that dummies are now only for sleeping and that she had to put them back in the box after sleeps but that she could have her new lovey instead. Every time she asked for the dummy or cried in the day we gave her the lovey. It took a few days but she cought on pretty quickly and she did attach to that lovey ven though she hadn't taken to one before that. Just an idea if you wanted to reintroduce it for sleep only, you could do something like that. Pacis/dummies aren't damaging to teeth if they are used only for sleep, and even though your ped said you should get rid of it you should do whatever will work for you and your DD. I have also heard it's easier to get rid of them either really young or when they are old enough to understand what's happened.
Saying that, I'm sure your LO isn't hurt by it, and if you do decide to still be without it she'll adjust and forget. It's just a question if you think it would help sleep at this stage. Looking at your routine it seems she is having a bit too little sleep and could become very OT. How long has she been taking just the one nap? Will she not do 2?