If and when to feed 9 mo old

[Micky01]

Hi,  my son is 9 mo old and still wakes up frequently at night.  He goes to sleep initiallly by himself, sometimes needs a few pats, but then wakes every 2 to 4 hours after that.  I have been feeding him around 11 and again around 3am.  I know he doesn't need it, but not feeding results in 2 hours of screaming that wakes the whole house.  My husband and I have decided to tackle it this weekend.  My daughter will be staying with grandma.  His screaming really upsets her and keeps her up.   DH has agreed to tackle the nights.  I'm thinking he will probably need to eat at least once.  His last breastfeed of the day is around 6pm.  He goes to bed so early because of short naps.  So my question is:  Should I feed him at 11pm when he wakes or try and have DH hold him off until 3am.  He usually eats well at the 11pm and just pacifies himself at the 3am.  But I thinking that  feeding him right off, might set up his expectations to be fed the rest of the night.  Any ideas!  Thanks

[Spring_baby]

I hope you don't mind me posting. I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to or not. I'm no expert and am in exactly the same boat if anything! We've also decided that this weekend we get strict!

My initial thoughts are that if you can hold off the feed then he might fall asleep and surprise you by staying asleep! Possibly wishful thinking. I would be interested to see what other replies you get.

I think that at 9 months most babies don't need feeding over night. That being said I am never confident enough that LO isn't hungry and usually we end up feeding over night too. However some nights he will go all night without feeding. He is 1 month older than your LO.

Good luck at the weekend - hope you get some more useful replies!

[Micky01]

thanks for the quick replies and yes ALL help is welcome!  We are getting rather desperate for some sleep over here. 
We sort of have a plan, we are going to discuss tonight.  I have been using PU/PD for the past couple of nights to try and prepare DS, but have still ended up feeding after 2 hours of it all.  So I may have not been doing him any favors.  DH is not real keen on sitting in the room and listening to the screaming.  It really is loud and hurts your ears.  I have bought earplugs, so hopefully that will help.  Most likely I will be able to get him to stay and rest a hand on DS with a few pick ups here and there.  Sometimes picking him up only makes him more upset. 

When he wakes, it sounds like a "trying to resettle cry"  so I usually leave for a few minutes.  It almost always escalates.  I start by trying to calm him in the crib, but usually end up picking up.  He often gets mad when I don't move toward the rocker to feed him.  Sometimes he pushes away so I put him back down.  He rolls and thrashes, screams, gets on his hands and knees.  He'll settle every few minutes and I think he's going to sleep, but then he's up again in about a minute.  This goes on and on and on and on.

We are bf and solids are going ok.  He has cereal, fruit and cheerios for breakfast, we try cheese and small bits of fruit for lunch, but he's not real big on swallowing things that aren't pureed.  I also give  him a small bit of cereal and a pureed veg and yogurt  at lunch.  Dinner is at about 4:30 and is usually a meat,veggie combo with some finger foods, but again he doesn't eat much of these yet.  He is getting 3 to 4 bf's per day and 1 good one at night.

I thought about going cold turkey so that he doesn't get confused.  Maybe with a feed around 5 am.  Do you think he could make it that long?  He has never slept through, so I'm pretty sure this is a habit thing.
Thanks for your help!

[happymamaof2]

Hi Mickey01, Have you thought about a DF at 10 or 1030?  If he can settle himself at 0300 then you may end up getting a little more sleep.  Maybe it would help to post your EASY schedule as you commented on some short naps? 

[Micky01]

I could take the rocker out of his room, that's a good idea.  He is not standing yet, but pushes up on his hands and scoots over to me when he wants me to pick him up.  I will also try leaning in more.  I have tried gently moving his arms out so that he has to lay back down, makes him furious .  I agree also about sticking to it.  I usuallly cave because by then the whole house has been awake for 2 + hours.  I think this weekend will be better because my 3 yr old will be at grandmas and DH doesn't work wkends.  The plan is to let him do nights and I will do Sat and Sun during the day. 

I'm not sure about a dreamfeed.  I usually go ahead and feed him if he wakes up after 11pm.  If he wakes up before that, I try to get him back to sleep.   If I feed him at 11 or so, I'm pretty confident that he wouldn't need food the rest of the night.  The 3 am would be a battle, but I think we could get through it.  This (the 11pm) is also his largest feed of the night.  BUT, what I'm worried about is setting him up to think he will get fed the rest of the night.  I wasn't sure if I should continue the 11pm and stop the 3am or if I should push him through to 3am, or just go cold turkey as JAY3 said.  I worried that giving him a feed at anytime of the night will confuse him, but I' m also worried that he won't make it until the morning.  I'm sure this is a learned hunger thing, but how do you break it??
thanks so much for everyone's help!

[Micky01]

OOps forgot to post schedule!  Going to run some errands, will do when I get back!

[lilac83]

If those 11pm and 3am wakings are at the same time every night, have you considered doing wake to sleep?

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64168.0

In order for him to stop taking those calories at night (which he really shouldn't need to anymore at 9 months) he needs to take them during the day. If you decide to go cold turkey, this will lead to a rough first night for all of you. However, the second night should go better since he will have ate more during the day to make up for the previous night.

[Micky01]

OK, so here's what our day has looked like for the past month or so:

Between 6 and 7am: wake and bf
8:30: solids
9ish :  nap 1 40 min to an hour
11am: bf
12:00: solids
1ish : nap 2  (if first nap was short, I put him down a little earlier and do lunch solids after nap)
         usually an hour if first nap was an hour.  If first nap was short, he will do an hour and 20 min
         or so, but I have to resettle him.

3:00: bf
4:30: either a catnap or dinner.  If Nap 2 was short, he gets the catnap first, then solids after
5:00: either a catnap or dinner
6:00: bath, jammies, bf, book
6:45: into crib, usually asleep by 7 or 7:30

He's been getting a total of 2.5 hours of sleep during the day.  Would love to drop the catnap and extend naps, but its almost impossible to work on naps as I do in home daycare and can't leave the other children alone for so long.  He has just in the past month began doing 1hr naps.  They were 30 to 40 min forEVER.  Yesterday and today though he really struggled with naps again.  He kept waking every 20 min.  I'm sure very OT from a long night. 

lilac83, thanks for your reply.  He doesn't always wake at exactly those times.  His first wake is usually 3 to 4 hours after he falls asleep.  If he is OT when he goes to bed, it can be as early as 2 hours.  I have never tried wake to sleep, but will read up on it.  Thank you.