Lost confidence in Routine

[MrsCottie]

Hi there

I read BW when I was pregnant and have used the routine for the about 6 weeks now after being baby led for the first few weeks as I had a csection and wasn't out and about much. It was all going well, lo has been sleeping through the night for about 6/7 weeks and I usually wake him at 7.30 to get the day started. Although weekends we all tend to have a lie in and he's up at 8. He woke up at 6 for 4 mornings last week which I treated as night feeds (guess it;s a growth spurt). But have now lost confidence in what I'm doing withhim - I've taken him to post natal classes and he doesn't fall asleep when he should be napping. Tomorrow is baby massage class and it starts at a time I should be feeding him - do I give him a quick top up before leaving for the class or wait till he's hungry half way through? 

Am on a 3 hour routine

E 7.30
A
S 8.45-10/10.30 - can be his longest nap

E 10/10.30
A
S 11.30ish but sometimes doesn't nap for long

E 12.30/1ish
A
S - 2.30 - 4

E -4
A

E - 6
A

E - 8
A - bath
S - 8.30

He doesn't cat nap at all from 4 so some nights he is v OT as you can expect but it only usually takes 10 mins of me shh and hand over eyes to get him to sleep.
Want to be able to work around him so I can get out and meet other Mums and also have him napping when he should be - or should I stay at home more so he can get a proper sleep in.  Have also got his 2nd lot of jabs tomorrow so want him to be chilled for those. Help!

Many thanks

MrsCottie

[MrsCottie]

Oops for got to say lo is 13 weeks old!

[~Alexa~]

Hi there!! We can't be in our houses all day long, we also need to get out and meet new people.  So, I think that if your lo is taking his naps on the go, it is ok, but I would try to have him take at least one nap a day in his crib.  Do you think this is possible? He will be more rested by having this nap in his crib. 

If the class starts at a time you should be feeding him, then I would give him the feed right before the class.  You can either give him the complete feed or you can give a short feed before the class, and then another short feed after the class so he gets the whole meal.  Does this make sense?

We moms have to be very creative when dealing with feeding, nap schedules, and daily activities.   

Alexa

[MrsCottie]

Thanks for the advice Alexa I am going through a stage of doubting everything I'm doing and feeling a bit stressed about it all. It's good to have a bit of reassurance. I've been out and about a bit since having him, just this past week has thrown me off course.
ANother question - I want to tweak his bedtime, try and bring it forward a bit but if I'm feeding at 8pm shall I do the bath before then and just do a feed and then chill and sleep or bring the whole feed forward? Or shall I bath him after the 6pm feed then wind down till 8, feed and sleep? Or just drop the 8pm feed and do bed time from 6 after his feed? He would have had a 12 hour day by then anyway. 
He didn't take a df last night and was very restless but didn't wake up, he just fidgets alot and I still had to wake him this morning.
Thanks
S

[~Alexa~]

Hi there!! Are you BF or bottle feeding?

If you are bottle feeding, you can try giving him more oz in every bottle and drop the 8 p.m bottle, and then have an earlier bedtime.  We need to have him take these calories, because it seems that this is helping him STTN.
You can either do it cold turkey and put your lo to sleep at 7 p.m. after his 6 p.m. feed, or you can start moving it earlier by 15 min each day.  But I think that having an early bedtime is a good idea, because your lo is getting OT at bedtime because he has no catnap before. 

It all depends on your lo's temperament.  Personally, I would do it cold turkey, because that's the way I am... I just like to do things quickly, but your lo may not like it, so you'll have to try. 
You can also bathe him and give him his bottle right after the bath and have him in bed by 7 p.m. 

I used to have my lo in bed by 7 p.m.  His feeds were 730 a.m., 1030 a.m, 130 p.m., 430 p.m, and 630 p.m. I think you can try moving the 6 p.m. feed 30 min later so your lo is hungrier and see if he takes more at that feed and you can drop the 8 p.m feed. And then, do the DF around 9:30-10 p.m.   But I DO think you need to move it forward.  Try to have bedtime after 12.5 hrs from wake up time.  Am I making any sense?

Let me know what you decide. If it doesn't work, we can always try new options.
Alexa

[TDR'smom]

Alexa has already given you wonderful advice.  I just wanted to post this link for you to look over.  I found it very helpful when I was trying to organize my day!

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=56396.0

[MrsCottie]

Thanks for the advice ladies, I feel a bit calmer about it all today (maybe it was the baby massage session we had today!) and the fact he had 2 naps this morning of 1.5 hours each!

Alexa - you do make sense. I'm BF at the moment and will look at following the times you used (usually have to wake him when DH gets up in the morning for a feed at 7.30) and do a bottle DF at 10ish. He's putting on weight really well and as you say got to keep his calories up. Will give it a go tomorrow and see how it all goes, he's pretty contented most of the day which I've put down as textbook, it's when he's OT or going to bed he gets a bit feisty - use the covering the eyes/block out stimulation on him which works a treat .

Thanks so much.

Sarah

[~Alexa~]

Good luck!!

Keep us posted

[MrsCottie]

Hi Fellow BW's

Hmm not going as well as I'd hoped.... Have given it 3 days to adjust and whilse we've managed to drop the 7.30/8pm feed and vrought bedtime forward daytime naps are a huge problem. He's really fighting going down for sleeps - 1st one in the morning seems to be ok took him 25mins to settle today and then asleep for 45mins. Then I popped to the shops withhim today and he slept in the car there and on the way back (half hour each way) but since his 1.30 feed he has been screaming and fighting against sleep. I brought nap time forward today as he was yawning and rubbing his eyes but he's still screaming now. Am at my wits end. He has not been getting enough naps in the last few days so has been falling asleep during the last feed at 6.30 and I just rush his bedtime routine so I can get him to bed with his eyes just about open. Then he took 1/2 hour to settle last night - have resorted to using white noise - hairdryer/static on radio but that's not worked today at all.
He's also starting bobbing on and off the breast when feeding - will that affect his moods? He's not even looking round the room, just being a bit of a fusspot the past couple of days.

Help!

Sarah

[~Alexa~]

HI there!! Sorry you're having such a tough time! 

If he is having touble settling down and if he is getting on and off the breast while feeding, he could be in pain, with reflux.  Have you thought about it?

Do you have a good milk supply?

Alexa

[MrsCottie]

Hey

Not sure about reflux, he loves to lie down for nappy change - in fact that is when he's happiest at the moment! He hasn't been sick for a long time and before that it was only a couple of times. Milk supply is doing ok - he's a quick feeder so only takes 5-10 minutes normally. Today was quite hard - he eventually slept 5.45 - 6.30 when I fed him again and then started the wind down for night time. He settled quickly tonight, I just covered his eyes to block out everything and after 5/10 mins moaning he dropped off for the night. I'm worried that he now needs me to cover his eyes to get to sleep - do you think it's become a prop? When can I stop having to sit next to him to see him fall asleep - it's the best way to get him off for now, I stopped doing it for a couple days and he's back into this state.
Hmm - hopefully tomorrow we'll be back on track, might just spend a couple days at home to get him sorted.

Thanks

Sarah

[~Alexa~]

Hi Sarah!! If your lo is happy when you lie him down, then, leave the room to see if he settles by himself.  I usually give my lo 10-15 min to fall asleep.  If your lo starts crying, then go back and calm him down and put him to sleep. 

I think 6 weeks is too early for developing props, but if you are worried about it, you can start by doing it for less time.  So if you usually block his eyes until he has completely fallen asleep, stop doing it before he completely drifts off.  Do it little by little, until he doesn't need it anymore.  But I wouldn't worry about it so much, you are doing an excellent job!!

Keep us posted
Alexa

[TDR'smom]

Alexa has given you great advice and just want to agree with everything she is saying.

I would not worry for now about having to block out his eyes for sleep etc.  My 7 month old STILL needs something covering her eyes etc before she will sleep.  It's just now she can find her lovey or small blanket and cover them herself!

Also, if your lo is not crying and just making noise prior to sleep, leave him be.  Try not to interfere because you could disturb him and then REALLY need to help him sleep!

Good luck!!

xx
judy