Napping going badly wrong at MILs- any ideas??

[louiemum]

My LO is 8 mo old and a pretty good napper.  It took a lot of work (and a lot of help from these boards) to get him onto a good routine but it's working well for the most part and at home he'll have 2 naps of 1.5 - 2 hours each.

However I'm now back at work part time and my MIL is looking after him a day a week.  Problem is that he just doesn't nap there.  She swears she's tried what I've suggested but when she puts him in the cot he just screams and doesn't sleep so now she has given up and the minute he looks sleepy he's in the pram being pushed around to gt him to sleep.   This normally works but he only ever sleeps 30 - 40 mins (it was only 10mins last week!).  She then gives him a bottle to get to sleep - which a) doesn't work and b) she knows I don't do!   I end up stressed at the end of a working day with a completley OT sad little monkey!

Think partially it may be that she gets upset that he isn't easy for her and he picks up on it!  She told me last week that now he is 8mo it's time that I stop staying in the room with him as he falls asleep and should be prepared to let him cry (no way I'm listening to that piece of advice_ 

Getting all a bit stressful and starting to affect my (previously) really great relationship with the MIL.    Anyone out there experienced this or got any ideas? 

Thanks 

[Mashi]

Would it be possible for you to go to MIL's a couple of days a week on your non-working days and put him down for his naps there so she can see how you do it and he can get more used to sleeping there with YOU putting him down, then perhaps he will be more used to it when she does it?

Also is the room set up in the same way ie/ blacked out for instance?

[Julianne1984]

I agree with Mashimaro. We have the same problem. Our Lo won't sleep unless in his pram at OH's mums house, she also used to feed him loads when he was younger, until we started labelling pre-made bottles and solids. We are going to start taking our travel cot when we go there and we'll get him to sleep in it while she's there (and do the same at my mums house). Other than that I don't know how else you could get him to sleep better there. x

[louiemum]

Thanks guys - weird thing is he'll go down at her place for me.  It takes him a bit longer to get to sleep (takes about 5 - 10 mins at home and about 15 there). 

The room isn't as dark as at home and to be honest I've been wondering if that is a problem! But MIL thinks it is dark enough and has told me on a few occasions that can't put him to sleep in total darkness as he'll never nap anywhere besides his bed 

We are all going away over Easter (and LO will be in travel cot he sleeps in at MILs) so you think I should just spend those 4 days really showing her the routine, wind down etc and hope for best?!?

[Mashi]

Yes, I would show her routine and drill it into her how important it is to you! Also, can you get some blackout something that you can take that isn't permanent that means she doesn't have to replace curtains, etc, but that will make the room darker? Not sure your relationship with MIL but for me, if mine said something along the lines of that, it would only make me want to do it more!  At the moment, you need him to nap at her place, worry about whether or not he will nap elsewhere when the time comes! 

[Julianne1984]

I bought some blackout fabric for about £4 and bought some plastic suckers from a "pound shop" and stitched them together to make my own travel blind! They cost about £30 to buy!! It worked brilliantly (Appologies if you live in USA and the price makes no sense!) x

[louiemum]

Great idea - I'm in New Zealand but born and used to live in the UK so understand perfectly =)

My relationship with MIL was great but unfortunately it's going downhill a bit at the moment    Shame because I think it is large part her feeling insecure about my LO not behaving same way with her as he does for me.  Totally normal I think but she's getting a bit sensitive.   Oh well here's hoping I can fix it over Easter....

Thanks again x

[Julianne1984]

cool that was the best thing I ever did when my lo was small, I even made a small one to go in the window above his bedroom door...

My lo never acts the same with my OH's mum as he does for us. Of course they are going to feel more secure/at ease with mum+dad than with anyone else, just because we know our lo's grandparents doesn't mean they have the foggiest! All they think is "it's that lady again! Yay" lol. So it'll take time until they can be themselves around people. x