Help! 22 month old fighting naps and bedtime! Time to drop the nap??

[sezzab]

Hi there

Sorry if this sounds like a big rambling rant - but would love any ideas/feedback from those of you who have been through this before.

My very strong willed wee girl was a wonderful sleeper until she hit 18 months. Since then it has all gone haywire. For the last few months she has gone from going to bed and being asleep in 2 minutes for her nap and bedtime, to fighting sleep for 1-2 hours. We have also gone from NEVER having night wakings to having a couple a night most nights.

I have tweaked her routine trying nap times anywhere from 11.30 to 1pm but it doesn't seem to make a difference, even though some days she is sooooo tired she is beside herself.  Our 12 hours nights have gone to 10 hours of sleep with a couple of night wakings - although she does go back to sleep straigt away after I go down and tuck her in. Have played with later bedtimes at night as well -but it still seems to take her as long to wind down.

Over the last week I have decided to give no naps a try to see if it makes any difference to her night sleeps.  Having mixed success, today she didn't nap but still fought bedtime for an hour - luckily I had anticipated and put her down at 6 so she was asleep by 7 (ahh but how many nws and what time will she want to get up :-)) Other days she is soo tired she has asked to have a nap and then slept for a couple of hours, only to fight bedtime for 2 hours again.

To compound the problem we have a new baby arriving in 8 weeks so have just made the transition to the "big girls bed".  After spending night after night ignoring her after she repeatedly got up and putting her straight back to bed (1 night over 50 times!) we have resorted to giving her a couple of chances to stay in the big bed before putting her down to sleep in the crib and then transfering her.

Oh the joy of it!  I just want bedtimes to be enjoyable again without feeling like we are constantly doing battle.  Does it sound like dropping the nap is the way to go - and if so how long does it generally take for them to get used to it and bedtimes at night to get easier?

Also - are we doing the wrong thing putting her to sleep in the crib and then transferring her ( she does really want to sleep in the big girls bed but just can't seem to stop popping out - far to much fun to be had trying to get attention from mummy and daddy!) Any ideas on how to get her to stay in bed much appreciated.  Thank goodness she hasn't yet started to get out of the bed once she has gone to sleep for the night!

Sarah

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

How about, instead of a choice between nap / no nap, you cut down her nap? I'm not sure how long her nap is, but if she's getting a couple of hours, maybe wake her up after an hour? Suddenly switching to no naps may get her overtired quite quickly, and may mess up the night sleep anyway.

Dropping that last nap can take a good while to get used to, and she is on the young side to be doing it completely. Most children do it between the ages of 2 and 4. When we did it, we gradually cut the size of nap down, over the space of a few weeks, and, then, once it was finally gone (just after he turned 3), I found he still needed 'downtime' in the middle of the day - under a blanket watching tv on the sofa. That gave him a chance to recharge his batteries, and, occasionally if he was really tired, he'd fall asleep.

Hth , let us know how you get on

[Mimi 2]

I agree with Caroline.  Try cutting back on the nap by 15 min or so for a few days to see if that will improve bedtime or try the nap a little bit later.  I understand how hard it must be to be pregnant and having to deal with a toddler that is in the path to no nap.  I was also pregnant and dd started to transition to no nap at 24 mo.  I played around with nap time and the length until she finally gave up the nap completely by 33/34 mos.  She was able to last 12 hrs and still have a long decent night's sleep. 

Take a breath and don't be too stress about it.  Try to follow his cues.

[sezzab]

THank you so much for your replies.  We had a NIGHTMARE last night.  She was sooo OT.  Woke at 10, 11, and then from 3-4.30.  Only way I could get her to go back to sleep was to bring her into bed with us, which is a big no no in our household.

I will definately try cutting the nap down/moving it later and let you know how I get on.  Deperately want to get this sorted before I am up at night with #2.  Sleep deprived mummy's aren't as much fun as they want to be.

Thanks again - I'll keep you posted

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Good luck, sleep deprivation is no fun at all

Let us know how you get on

[Sima]

hi, ((((hugs)))), my daughter now 27 months old, went through a phase (22 months until now-but less) of refusing naps on and off and did it yesterday!!! It seemed to me that once they hit around 2, and changed in regards to sleep and definitely got OT--with EW and NW.  ((hugs))

[LisaM]

My daughter is 2.5 now and has been resisting naps and bedtime for a while now.  I am getting to the point of thinking giving up the nap might be less stressful for me but am reluctant as she is a very EW anyway and so getting to bedtime will be really hard.  Also, if I let her have a few days of no nap I know that she will never willingly go for a nap again.  We have massive tantrums a lot and other days some general resistance and asking for a wee, a poo, a tissue, doesn't want her pillow, does want her pillow (you get the picture!!).  Am trying to keep going with it as long as possible - she only has about an hr most days now best is usually 1.20 mins so never been a good sleeper at all.  Also only sleeps between 9-10 hrs at night so we are no-where near what she needs for her age but cannot get her to take anymore, unfortunately.

I do feel for you, being pregnant and getting no sleep must be hell, really hope it gets better for you before the baby arrives.

Lisa x

[sezzab]

Thanks Lisa!

I'm happy to report that since I started waking her earlier in the morning the night wakings have stopped.  Go figure??

She still has a nap most days of the week, but it is generally an hour or less.  This seems to have her drifting off to sleep at a reasonable time in the night.

Some days still no nap but as long as she isn't waking in the night then that's fine by me.

Thanks for all your input ladies!

One very happy and not sleep deprived mum.

SJ

[coopers_mommy]

I'm not expert here....but I don't think lo's are really ready to drop a nap at this age.  My son's sleep seemed to go bonkers around 20 months and still is up and down from week to week.  from what I've heard, this is a stage.  Stay consistant with offering naps, etc and soon they will go back to enjoying the rest!