17 months old always wakes up crying (has since he was 3 months old)

[Ali Mama]

My lo who just turned 17 months today always wakes up crying/screaming. It doesn't matter if he's waking up in the morning, from a nap or in the middle of the night. He has never ever done the wake-up-coo-in-bed-for-a-while thing. He used to sleep in my bed in the early mornings at one point and now i sometimes nap with him and even with me right there he will wake up crying although to a slightly lesser extent. And it's not just crying; he seems so very upset that it's just breaking my heart. When he was younger than three months old, he would occasionally wake up and not make a fuss but since then, it's always been the crying/screaming.

We have (or have had and gotten over) every sleep problem there is and i'm quite sure he's OT most of the time but everything i do to try to help him with that is failing. It really upsets me that he wakes up so distured. Does anyone have any idea what this is about or any suggestions on how to help him wake up happier?

Thanks

[anna*]

I posted a similar question about my 18 month old a few days ago. He always wakes up miserable. I've been reassured that it's not that unusual, and may well change as he gets older.

((((hugs)))) It's horrible that they're always so upset when they wake though. My LO is so happy most of the time, but so unhappy when he wakes. Even when I'm sure he's not OT.

[becky1969]

It very well could be a personality thing.  Is he touchy at all? Touchies have trouble with transitions, so going from sleep to awake can be really upsetting for them.

since you think he might be OT, do you want to go over routine at all?

[Ali Mama]

Thank you, both.

Anna, will look for your post and read the replies for more info.

Becky, i suppose he is a bit touchy. He's a lovely, passionate, adorable little boy but things can be a struggle with him including changing nappies, getting dressed, eating, taking a break from playing ball with him when he just wants to go on...etc.

It can be very difficult with his personality to tell if it's OT or if he's just being difficult however my major clue is how little sleep he gets. he gets 12-12.5 hours total a day including naps and that's new up from 11 hours. We've always suffered from major EW (as early as 3:40 am at one point) and until a couple of months ago, multiple NW (as many as 8 in one night although the average was 3-4) as well as 25 min naps. Things have significantly improved recently but i still feel he's not sleeping enough esepcially that he's a very active boy who eats near nothing so he must need more rest (i figure).

Here's our current (very new rountine as he's now not doing an afternoon nap)

5:15 wake
5:45 very very short BF (under 5 mins)
6:30 Breakfast
8:00 Milk
9:30/10:00 Nap

12:00 Wake
12:30 Lunch
1:30 Milk

5:00  Dinner
6:00 Milk
6:30 Start bed rountine (was 7:00 before we dropped the afternoon nap)
7:15 Sleep

I realize his afternoon A time is very long but that's new and only bec if he wakes up at noon, will not go down for a nap before 4 or 4:30 which is just too late. i tried to shorten he's morning nap to get him to sleep in the afternoon again. it worked but he seemed very unhappy and still took a long time to go down in the afternoon. i figure he's transitioning anyway so will let it be for now.

he must OT, yes?

[becky1969]

Have you tried making nap later in the day?  I would say ABSOLUTELY he's OT at bedtime! LOL! If we could get nap to occur later in the day then he wouldn't have so long before bed, and then wake up would be better.

Alternatively a much earlier bedtime could help -- 6 pm would probably be latest I'd put him to bed with a noon wake up.

So, I think I'd try a 2-pronged approach: delay nap until at least 11 am (so get a 1 pm waking) and then a 6 pm bedtime.  That way you're doing about 5-6 hours A time max before and after nap.

[Ali Mama]

Yes we did try an afternoon nap but to get one from 3-4 i had to cut his morning nap short which made him very grouchy plus would wake up unhappy from his afternoon nap and would not go down for the night until 8:30 but still wake up at 5. It was just not working out.

i will try to delay he's morning nap a bit but it will take time bec he's ready to sleep by 9 which i already push to 9:30/10:00. As for bedtime, will also try. his father comes home just before that time and he gets very excited so i doubt he'll let me but i will try.

Thanks for the advice!