Mommy as a prop for toddler

[glamis]

Hello everyone

Would appreciate your support please

My very determined fiestly smilley little girl is 14 months and has never sttn ever ~ we did co sleep but have stopped that and just have her in the cot in our room ~ we tried to move her into her own room and the very first night we tried she got ill and a molar popped so that never worked from the first minute

So now we have her cot in our room ~ she has a fairly good day in terms of naps but these can be very varied from having 30mins total day time naps to 3 hours total naps at sil

We are consistant with her night time routine in that she has a bath at about 7 then bottle and bed at 7.30pm every night ~ she eventually falls asleep at about 8pm

She wakes up on average 5 times and it is always just for a cuddle for up to 5 mins then she goes back down no problem, she does not have a lovey as she is not bothered and neither does she have a dummy.

So would anyone have any ideas of how l can reduce the nw's

Many thanks for your support. 

[anna*]

Can she fall asleep independently or do you cuddle her to sleep every time?

[glamis]

thank you anna for your support

she always needs either bottles or cuddles or even a mixture of both but recently its actually both ~ once she finishes or pushes the bottle away she turns round to stand up in the cot and that is when we cuddle her and rock her to sleep

appreciate your help

many thanks

ps today she only had 1 hr 30min nap from 10am so not sure how to do the night shift now? do l still stick to my 7.30pm or not?

[anna*]

Have a read of this link: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

It sounds like Gradual Removal would be more appropriate for your little one. I haven't actually ever used it myself, but I know that lots of people have had great success and you'll find some threads on this board documenting it. The main thing, as you know, is consistency. If she sometimes gets cuddles and bottles to help her back to sleep, it will be a much harder habit to break than if you decide that from now on she never gets them (unless she's really ill and needs extra help to get to sleep).

I'd do an early bedtime tonight.

[glamis]

thanks anna

she actually did not want a bottle to go to bed tonite and she was fast asleep with a cuddle in 5 mins

our wind down consists of bath and pj's then bottle and bed ~ tonite dh tried to give her bottle but she just got irritable and cried a bit ~ l took her and said to her its night night time ~ took her to the window to say good night to the world and then l sat on our chair next to her cot and she fell asleep in 5 mins at 8pm ~ she has since woken up 50 mins later for a quick 2 min cuddle then back down again

how can l make a plan of action when her cot is in our room? using the gradual removal?

like now when she has woken up we only know this by her crying out so by the time we go in she does not want the patt shssh and to not make her irritable we just pick her up then cuddle her for a few mins then place her back down in the cot? and that is what we do every night. 

appreciate your support 

[anna*]

Personally I would move the cot back into her room - you will have to do it at some point and there is no time like the present!

[glamis]

we did try this for one night and she was traumatised shame unless she just wasnt well

plus she has never napped in that room ever?

so she ended up co sleeping with us that night at 11pm then the next day her cot was back in our room?

my dh is going away next week for 2 weeks so l am getting friends to stay with us so they can have my room then l can move her into her room ~ would you recommend l sleep on the floor for the first few nights?

appreciate your support 

[anna*]

Yes, I'd use gradual removal to make the transition from your room to hers - once she's sleeping in there, you'll all get some better sleep! As long as you don't leave her to cry in there, she shouldn't be traumatised by it. I'd be consistent too - naps in her crib in her room for all naps and nights, until she's well established in there.

[glamis]

thanks

does that mean l would still do the pupd whilst she is in there? and me sleep in there too?

[anna*]

No, if you're doing gradual removal, you do that instead of PUPD. At this age you wouldn't really use PUPD anyway, you'd do WIWO if she knew how to go to sleep independently - or gradual removal since she doesn't.

Let us know how it goes!

[glamis]

thanks anna

but when she does wake up now we firstly try the patt shsssh but then only pick her up if she continues to cry for a while ~ think its actually 10 seconds or so then we give in? is this wrong?

also how to l create a plan of steps to start taking?

do we also stop giving her bottle to fall asleep at bed time?

[anna*]

I don't know about steps for a plan for gradual removal - I think all the details are given in that link I posted, but as I say we've never used it ourselves. If she wakes and cries, leave her to see if she will settle herself: if not, then you will go in to her and use shush-pat followed by gradual removal. I think the link suggests sleeping in her room with her for a few nights.

I think as well you should not feed her to sleep at bedtime. Give her her milk, but put her down in her crib when she is still awake, so that she gets used to falling asleep without a bottle/cuddles.

Good luck!

[glamis]

thanks anna

when she woke up 6 times last night 4 of them were just the patt shsssh

but dh did give her bottle to sleep at 2 as she was terribly hungry you could even hear her tummy rumbbling.

appreciate your support

once dh is gone l am going to try her in her own room! 

[anna*]

Good luck! When you do switch her to her room I really think you need to try and make it consistent ie once she goes in there she always sleeps in there.