Hello lovely,
I have posted over on one of the threads you wrote in, hopefully you get that!! Listen I am pretty new at this too so mostly I just want to give you support.....
We had a difficult refluxy baby but we never got our LO down for an early bed time either, I know what the ideal is and I'm sure the moderators will be able to help you start working towards this, but DON'T feel like it's your fault, it's not, your baby is finding it difficult to switch off and that is difficult to manage!
Ok firstly, you are not trapped in your house. If the afternoon is when your bubs sleep is the poorest go to town in the afternoon for a short trip (if that is possible), give her the good morning sleeps in her cot and then get out, get a "fresh nose" as my darling mum calls it...it will do you both the world of good. If she doesn't sleep in the pram, that's ok, if she does bonus
Aim to be out for only one EASY, ie feed her out (if you are comfortable with that) or just before you leave, have her A time out and her S time in the pram or car then head home. Feed her when you get home, have a REALLY low key (and probably short) A time so that she doesn't get too OT and then try and put her down. If it doesn't work sweetie, that's ok, you tried and at least you both got some time out
Ok my second piece of advice is sounds like the shush pat is working when your LO is not too OT, be consistent trying to do this, give it a good go and if it doesn't work do some APOP....ACCIDENTAL PARENTING ON PURPOSE....stop feeling guilty if occasionally the technique doesn't work, likely your LO is a bit OT, probably has a bit of a sore tummy and needs a little more comfort, that is ok...you are working towards an ideal, it doesn't have to be perfect from the beginning.
The fact that you are trying to teach your LO to self settle so early is great, just be realistic and give yourself a break if it isn't working. Look at the clock and say, if it isn't working after 30 minutes I am going to pick up my bub and give her a cuddle and rub her back and see if that helps and if I feel better I will try again, if not I will put her to sleep in my arms and start fresh next time
It may mean that it takes a little longer for her to learn independent sleep, but you will get there if you try the techniques first. (incidentally I would try and not rock her, just sit down and cuddle her because soon she will get heavy and it will start to hurt you!!)
Ok with your last EASY I would look at trying to make it a little shorter and less eventful. First question is does she like the bath? If not I would give her a bath earlier in the day when she isn't so tired and just give her a sponge bath or a small massage after her feed, keep this really short. Then give her a top up, a nice burp/back rub, swaddle, take her to her room (lights down) and read her a short story or sing a little lullaby (same one every time) then try and put her down. My bub was SO OT by the end of the day that I think our "wind down" was way too much for him to handle...he is only just coping with it now at 12 months!!!
Is your LO gaining weight well? If she is, don't worry about the b/f it's obviously working
Hope so.
Sorry that your DH isn't helping much, they find it hard to understand because they don't have to deal with all the OT stuff during the day. I broke down one day and admitted to DH that when my baby woke I was already anxious about how I was going to settle him the next time, he hadn't realised how much it was doing my head in and how guilty I was feeling because I couldn't get it to work. Keep talking to your DH, keep communicating and keep explaining why you are trying to do this, if he wants get him to come on the board and ask about it
read some success stories etc....It's so much harder if you feel alone in your relationship, you are BOTH parents for the good and the bad times darling, show him what you are trying and ask him to learn it too so it's not all on you, it will be good for him and Jasmine in the long run too because he won't struggle to get her down when she is older if he starts now as well!!!
Ok I know I'm ranting, I'm sorry I just want to help you because I feel for you!!! Believe us when we say that it does get easier, partly because you start relaxing more into your role and partly because your baby develops and becomes easier
YAY You WILL GET THERE, hang in there, keep posting and chatting
Big hugs
Lizzie
Every time you put your LO to bed, even during the day it's the same. Take her to her room, swaddle, give her a nice cuddle same story or lullaby then put her down saying her key phrase, "night night darling, time for a sleep, love you" (or something along those lines).
