Nothing is going right anymore - please help!

[yellow rose]

My 10 month old is having so many sleep issues and I just don't know what to do anymore.  He was doing very well until he began crawling and pulling himself up and then it all fell apart.  His nap are horrendous and he is up at 5:00 or 5:30 almost every morning.  I have tried sh/pat to extend naps, PD, lengthening A times, shortening A times, shortening AM nap, W2S.....I don't know what else to do.  I even gave him Tylenol today because he was chomping on everything in sight and I went against all advice and picked him up and rocked him when hen woke early from his nap.  This is what today has looked like:

woke 5:30 (sh/patted but never went back to sleep)
nap 9:40 (exhausted!) - 10:50 (woke on his own)
nap 2:05 - 2:40 (tried PD and sh/pat again, but he screamed at me  )
(I was going to keep him up a bit longer for his PM nap, closer to his usual 2:15 time, but he kept rubbing his eyes and yawning)

I guess he will go to bed around 6:30 tonight, but it's usually more like 7:00.

I was shortening his AM nap a couple of weeks ago and only letting him sleep an hour and for the first few days, it seemed to help, but then the EW's started and he became an all around mess.  He is miserable most of the day, especially in the PM and I am hesitant to reduce his AM nap even further because I just know he won't sleep for 2 hours in the PM.  Please tell me what to do!

[deb]

UGH! You probably have a few different things all happening at once:

9 months, give or take 2 months, is prime time for Separation Anxiety. That throws off EVERYTHING.

Teeth? Sounds like you've thought of that already. Maybe try some pain meds before sleep time and see if it makes a difference?

Maybe an ear infection, or a cold brewing? A tummy bug? These all hit Josie around 11 months, which is what made me think of them.

And of course, developmental leaps throw off things as well.

What's his bedroom like in the morning? Dark enough to make him think it's still night?

Have you tried W2S a while before 5AM?

[yellow rose]

Well, separation anxiety is definitely a possibility as he is way attached to his mama!  That's a good and bad thing, I guess.  I gave him one of my shirts to sleep with tonight hoping that having that with him might help him sleep better.  Grasping at straws here, I'm sure, but my oldest used to sleep with my shirt and loved it, so it's worth a shot.

I have tried Orajel and Tylenol before sleep...no help.

I don't think he has anything else going on in terms of his health.  He had a bit of a cold, but that was very short-lived.

Maybe I should try darkening his room a bit and see if that helps in the morning...good idea.

Yes, I have been doing W2S at 4:25 for the past three days.  It seemed to be working until this morning when the 5:30 rooster awoke!   

[~inbalance~]

Big (((HUGS)))!  My LO just started crawling etc., and I am in the exact same boat, complete with the EWs!!!  I could have written your post.  Not that our EASY was ever perfect to begin with (far from it!), it seems that even now the few things that did go well aren't anymore!     It's so exhausting, isn't it?

Naps have never been great for us, and we've always had at least one NWing, but DS used to at least go down to sleep easily and he would sleep until 6:30 or 7.  Now since he has been crawling and pulling himself up, putting him down is a total disaster, and he's up before 6 every morning!  At first it was 5, but now we've got it at 5:45. 

I swear we are the same - teething here but Tylenol and Orajel are lost causing.  Had a bit of a cold, passed quickly so I know that's not it either.  I really feel it's the new mobility.  I try to give DS loooottttt of practice time crawling and pulling himself up.  As much as I don't want him to get OT, it's kind of unavoidable and I actually feel like he just needs to get it out of his system, so I let him go nuts. 

Something also I didn't think about is when they become mobile they get OT much easier, so A times might have to be reduced significantly until things settle again.  I know, easier said that done!  I've played with all lengths of A times too, but I'm actually finding 3hrs to be the best so far, I can get a 1hr or 1hr 15min nap out of him then.

Have you tried walk in/walk out (wiwo)?  At this age ssh/pat is too stimulating and actually becomes ineffective.  I've recently started wiwo and I have to say I think it's helping.  I use it to get him into bed at night, and also to extend naps.  It's for older babies and is particularly good for separation anxiety.  Here's the link, maybe you'll find it useful.
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62612.0

You're not alone, I'm so with you on this one!  Good luck and hopefully we can get through this together! 

[yellow rose]

Thanks, Martina.  I have been reading a lot about and being told about the 2-1 nap transition and that this is the time it usually starts.  I am just so nervous to shorten his naps too much for fear that something else is going on, possibly SA as you mentioned, and that he doesn't need his sleep times changed at all.  He is definitely a mama's boy and wants to be with me 24/7.  I wasn't familiar with WIWO until you sent that to me, but I guess I just did that this evening and didn't even know it.  He wasn't having any parts of going to bed early, so I kept having to go back in and lay him down and say "night, night."  After about 30 mins., he gave up and finally went to sleep. 

I'm so confused at this point as to what his "perfect" A time is because of all that has been going on and I don't know when to even put him down for a nap anymore.

[~inbalance~]

Do you have trouble reading his cues?  I never know what is perfect either, it's all just trial and error really.  What I do is check out what other LOs his age are doing, sort of guess what I think he should be doing, and then watch him like a hawk for sleepy cues (which is sooo hard!) to try and narrow it down further.  The most frustrating part is that this takes time as you don't always get it right so you have to keep trying. 

Why don't you start with 3hrs and see how it goes?  Remember that all A time is all awake time, including wind down and such.  So when I am aiming for 3hrs, I start my wind down way earlier, and these days because it takes so long to get him to sleep, I even start trying to put him to bed 10mins before I actually hope that he will sleep.  Otherwise he gets even more OT crying and thrashing around.  If that nap comes up short, you'll obviously have to cut the next A down, and then try again the next day.  It's quite a process!  But remember to try and stick with one A time for a few days as sometimes it takes time for them to get used to it.  I am so guilty of not being consistent, and I think that's part of the reason I never get it right!  Formulate a plan, and see it through at least 3 days before changing it up again. 

I think the hardest part for me now and probably for you is breaking the cycle of EW & NWs = OT = short naps = more OT = more EWs & NWs.  Gosh it's so frustrating, isn't it?!

In the meantime, wiwo is a really useful tool to help with both the separation anxiety and for extending naps.  Since you're already sort of doing it anyway, keep trying and roll with it.  I've been doing it for 2 days, I really think DS is starting to respond to it, so I'm optimistic!

[yellow rose]

Well, every time I think I've gotten his clues right, he ends up with a short nap, so I think his clues come too late and by the time he's yawning and rubbing his eyes, he's already OT.

He was doing 3.25 - 3.5 hours of A time, but now that he is waking early and having shorter AM naps, I'm having a more difficult time figuring out when to put him down.  I am not good at being consistent for 3 days either as I get so frustrated when it doesn't happen right away.  I've told others the same thing you are saying about that, but I have a hard time following it myself. 

Tomorrow is another day, right?!  Ugh!

[~inbalance~]

I think you and I sound a lot alike!     I can offer people suggestions, but never quite get it right myself (hence the thread I started ahwile back in the EASY forum called "just can't get it right!!"  In fact, feel free to pop on over, the thread is on part 3 now and all the LOs are around 9-10 months and moms have been fanastic support, maybe one of them might have some ideas for you too.  Come on over for a visit if you get the chance! 
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=150564.0
If you're brave you could read it from the beginning of part 1, but it's seriously a novel by now!  However the help and support I've recieved on this thread have been amazing, and it's a great place to share feeling and rants too.  We talk about everything, just jump right in!