Developing a Routine and Need Help Determing A Time Before Naps

[heatherjo_999]

Hi, I am still struggling to develop a routine for my DS who just turned 3 months old. He is so hard to read and I can't tell when he is tired. These are notes for the first AM nap.

Below is my observation notes. If you could read them and perhaps give me some feedback that would be great. For, if we miss the first nap it messes up the rest of the day.

5:45 NW and eat

8:35 up and eat

I started to really watch him at 9:30 to see if I could tell when he was tired.

-9:33 playing on floor (no toys) with me. He was moving his arms and legs up and down slowly and smiling. He made little coos and noises and was looking at the tv in the background

-9:36 got a bit fussy for 15 seconds, so I assumed he needed a change of pace and put him in his chair with his blankie as he likes to chew on it

-9:39 Kicking legs and arms moving faster, vocalizing and making eye contact and smiling

-9:42 Still making sounds

-9:43 Big sigh, still good eye contact and kicking legs and moving arms

-9:45 slowed down for a few seconds, staring at me and smiling and kicking feet and moving arms a lot

-9:46 squeal and sneeze

-9:47 hitting belly and pulling at clothes

-9:51 still kicking...going, going, going

-9:53 looking down but when I engage he makes eye contact and smiles...still kicking and very vocal

-9:57 looked down again but would still make eye contact

-9:58 sigh and kicking very fast

At this point he had been up 1 hr. and 23 minutes so I took him up for wind down (swaddle, running fountain and I hold him and shush pat with paci in his mouth.

He fought me for about 30 seconds and was wriggling. He then took his paci, I shush patted him but he hates to be held up to my shoulder, so I cradled him for 2 minutes. He was relaxed but not alseep.

I then put him in his crib and shush patted a couple more minutes and when I stopped he was semi awake, spit his paci out, and fell asleep.

Alseep by 10:04

He woke up 40 minutes later and I tried for ten minutes to shush pat. He seemed relaxed and asleep but he awoke and would not settle so I got him up.

Hope someone can figure this sweet little munchkin out for me.

[Tweakster]

I smell 9:36 - somewhere between then and the sigh at 9:43. 
Perhaps you missed a sigh? 
For Finn it's the sigh.  He doesn't yawn at all and he looks like he is still having fun. 
BUT he starts kicking, flailing almost and becoming more uncoordinated. 
And the sigh is the biggest indicator.  If I hear that sigh it's windown city.

The morning A time is far shorter for him than any other time.
So that is why I think maybe your LO could be the same, he's a Touchy right?
By the time he was actually asleep it was the 1.5 hour mark.  That was probably an OT nap.

[heatherjo_999]

When I took the quiz, it was textbook but when I read the descriptions, he seems to fall into the spirited category. So, he could be ready for a nap only one hour and eight minutes after up for the day time? It seems so short for his age. I was confused because he fought me on the nap and sometimes that means they are UT. However, he seems like a UT and OT 40 minute napper. I will watch again tomorrow morning for that sigh. Thanks

[Tweakster]

it is a pickle I agree.

My son seems to have some elements of Textbook but mostly Touchy and some spirited.
He has a very short A time too in the morning, very short for his age.  It could due to so many factors I have lost count lol. 

It's really just experimentation.
What I do now is wait for that first sigh and then move quickly into the wind down.  I have had to sit with him in his dark room swaddled until I was sure he was relaxed.  It wasn't until he relaxed that he actually yawned, which was quite a bit after the first sigh.  I take the sigh to mean 'ok done now, take me outta here and get me ready for bed'. 

He still fights going down but he goes to sleep fairly quickly which says to me he is tired.  I think maybe your LO is having difficulties going through the transitions. Have you sat with him while he sleeps?  I observed that closely too for a few days to see where the problem lies.  He just needed some holding through the jolts and/or shush/pat before he fully woke to get back down.

It's ok if he has the short nap just remember to shorten his next A times and to try a different morning A time the next day.

I guess it could be UT but it seems to sound more like OT since the rest of the day goes to pot when this one is wonky.

[lizzieHarrold]

Hi

My little fella is a spirited baby and it took me a while to figure out that the louder he got, the more tired he actually is.

He never ever yawns so my routine now for figuring out genuine tiredness (he is nearly 5 months) is when he starts getting fussy, pulling at clothes and getting loud, I change his location (also keeping half an eye on the clock to see how long he has been awake for) - sometimes its just boredom, if he starts again in a few minutes of being moved and is shouting, then I know he is tired and he goes for a nap.

When I move him (because I know its generally the start of the run in to his nap) I take him somewhere quiet and calm, normally laid on our bed so his not over stimulated and that helps too, especially for spirited ones. He is asleep within 5 minutes of being put down when I get it right 

I also get him up at the same time every day, helps both me and him plan his day routine.  I struggled with both of mine with short naps, and dont forget that a lot of it is developmental.  For quite a while the best that we can do is point them in the right direction until they are able to settle themselves.   

Dont worry too much, sounds like you are doing a great job!! It will all come together!

[heatherjo_999]

Thank you! At this point he 9/10 cannot settle himself and requires patting and shushing. At night he does better as he can go back to sleep. But of course day sleep is different from night sleep.

[lizzieHarrold]

Hi There

Thats perfectly normal at 3 months - mine was exactly the same.  In fact, to be totally honest with you, it was only at around 4 months or so that we started to see some improvement.  I kept plodding on, like you, patting and shushing and just really trying to show him that he needed to get back to sleep (hit and miss pretty much most days!!) and then things went really well, then horribly wrong - the dreaded 4 month growth spurt, and now things are (touch wood!!) okay, until of course the next thing, whatever it may be 

You are doing all the right things and your little one will soon pick up on what they should be doing.

Hey ho!!

Take care of yourself and remember to take a break when you can.  Hours spent in a dark nursery can send you doolally!!  Thats my excuse anyway...

Lizzie xxx

[Tweakster]

Agree with Lizzie.

After shush/pat almost exclusively from week 12 - 16 I noticed a huge improvement this week.
And learning that sigh was like the golden ticket.
I have had some 30 min naps too but they are OT and I just have to remember to cut the A time back.
It really pays off.

There are going to be so many ups and downs along the way but what you are starting will be the foundation of independent sleep and you hopefully won't be doing this in a month or even less!