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Offline JKL

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Worst Mom Ever
« on: July 05, 2009, 13:36:43 pm »
Just started pupd (actually, just pd--I think pu would just make her go hysterical) with dd this morning.  Took 30 minutes of screaming to get her to sleep--I know, 30 min isn't alot compared to what some people go through, but I felt horrible and rotten the whole way through.   I know it's way past time to do something about her sleep.  Things have been getting worse and worse until even my ap isn't working anymore.  Yesterday, she took no naps, and it took about 2 hours to finally get her to sleep last night, then she was up this morning at 5-something.  Clearly overtired, so I knew I had to so something.  The big problem is, ds (now 3.5) was an absolutely horrid sleeper, and I spent most of the first 2 years of his life using BW techniques obsessing over his routine, desperately trying to get him to nap/extend his naps/eliminate his early wakes/etc.  And still, he didn't consistently sleep through the night till 18 months, and still now, he wakes up more than once a night several times a week.  Nothing against the strategies on this board--Tracy's techniques absolutely did improve ds' sleep (he was waking every 20 minutes day and night when I found BW!).  But I do regret spending so much of his baby years focused on his (not) sleeping.  So, when dd was born, I decided I wouldn't go through that again.  Unfortunately, dd has also never been a great sleeper, but because I couldn't stand to go through the whole sleep training thing again (she has been on EASY since 3 month old), I let things get so bad..and now here we are, and I feel so guilty cause she is paying the price.  Anyway, all this rambling and no question ::), though I will post her routine to see if anyone thinks it needs to be tweaked.  Right now, she's just so OT that I just have to get her to sleep!!!!  
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Offline ~inbalance~

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Re: Worst Mom Ever
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2009, 15:26:18 pm »
First of all big (((HUGS))), you are not the worst mom!  I too feel like I should spend less time obessing over DS's sleeping and more time enjoying him as the time goes so fast.  But helping our children get proper rest doesn't make us bad moms, it makes us great moms!  One of the greatest things we can do for them is teach them how to sleep so that they can grow and develop.  I guess the hardest part is finding that magic balance between worrying about routines and relaxing enough to enjoy our babies... ::)

I would say go ahead and post your schedule and we'll have a look.  My DS is 10 months old and he has never been a great sleeper either, but has made huge progress in the last 2 weeks so maybe I can help a bit.  :)  9 months was not a good time for sleep for us but 10 months we turned a corner it seems.

Also, 30mins isn't bad for the first pd session, and for us I have found the first time is the worst and it seems like everything is just horrible, but things get better every time but you have to be consistent.

Definitely not the worst mom!  You're a great mom for wanting to help your DD sleep!  :)
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Offline deb

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Re: Worst Mom Ever
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2009, 16:24:14 pm »
Y'know, we got BW to (mostly) work for us with Josie, and when Nat came along she was the free-est spirit EVER from the get-go. Tummy sleeper, early crawler (5 months on her hands and knees, fast as lightning! :o), gave up naps altogether (except for when sick or in the car) around 18 months :o :o, and no matter WHAT we tried, no two days were EVER the same with her sleep-wise, probably for the first year and a half OR MORE. Seriously. I spent OVER TWO WEEKS trying pat/shh when she was a baby, and she's WAY too spirited to handle PU/PD so I didn't even bother. :P She woke at different times, napped at different times, different nap lengths, different numbers of naps per day. There was no way I could work out a routine, no way she'd go for nap extensions, nothin'. I finally had to say "whatever" and APOP so I could spend some time with poor Josie, who was tired of waiting and waiting and waiting all alone for her sister to sleep already.  :'( With Josie we knew reflux was a factor, and once we got it treated, things got better, but Nat didn't have that excuse. She was just too busy to sleep! :P

You're not a bad mom at all - you're following your LO! We'll be happy to check out your routine, of course, but PLEEEEASE don't spend time and energy beating yourself up.  :-* :-* :-*
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Offline JKL

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Re: Worst Mom Ever
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2009, 11:11:53 am »
Thanks so much, guys!  I needed to hear that.  Well, naps have been better, but night sleep is really bad. The thing is, I know where I'm going wrong, and I think I know what to do, my heart just isn't in it.  Curses to everyone who promised the second child always sleeps better ;)
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