help! my toddler won't let me leave the room at night!

[exhaustedmum]

Hi all
my lo is 15 months and I have previously come here for help with his sleeping. I have found recently that he has regressed big time when it comes to putting himself over to sleep. In the first instance I am struggling to leave the room after I place him in his cot for the night as he cries hystecially unless he can see me beside at his cotside while going to sleep. Secondly my lo has always from day one used my hair as his luvie, particularly when going to sleep at night, which often results in me literally leaning into his cot each night so he can reach and stroke my hair. Its the only thing that seems to settle him.

I have found myself (mostly through sheer exhaustion) slipping back into my old accidential parenting ways when he wakes during the night and using either rocking, his bottle or bringing him into our bed as a prop.

Please help I am severely lost. My lo attends nursery full time where he takes a nap at 12 noon, which lasts between an hour and an hour and a half. He does not take a nap at any other time.

Any advice to help me (a) get out of lo's room at night instead of having to wait with him while he goes to sleep and (B) breaking the association with my hair as his luvie - i tried to introduce other toys and a taggies blankets as an alternative but alais my hair always seems to win!

thanks

[Jann]

I can't offer much help but I do understand what you are going through.  My lo at 16 months started refusing naps, not napping and I had a hard time at bedtime.  I did wi/wo.  Have you tried that?  It took me literally 3 days of wi/wo at 30 sec intervals reassuring him and telling him its bedtime go to sleep.  since then we have been back on track.  But until I tried that, I was rocking him till he fell asleep and placing blankets on the floor to slide him on to for his nap. Yikes!!! 

Sending u lots of hugs

[~Karen~]

I've just been doing wi/wo with my 20 month old too and it's only taken a couple of days to get back on track so it is worth persisting with.

Hugs.

[exhaustedmum]

hi all
thanks for your advice but i am not familair with the wi/wo method. Could someone fill me in or point me in the right direction for info on this plz.

Thanks
Really appreciate it
 

[deckchariot]

here's a link that explains it:  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

hth
michelle

[Jann]

How are things going?

[exhaustedmum]

Hi thanks for sending me the link for wi/wo and gradual withdrawal methods. Things still remain the same with regards to my little one needing me present and stroking my hair to help him first go to sleep at night. At the min my lo is wakening roughly once during the night and normally takes me a few mins to resettle him. We are currently away on a few days holiday and i have just recently returned to full time work so starting the wi/wo gradual withdrawal method hasn't really been possible to implement until we return home tomorrow. I am going to try the gradual withdrawal method as i feel my lo will respond to this better given i unsuccessfully tried the controlled crying method with him some time ago.

I just have one question. We live in a small house and my lo sleeps in the "box" room leaving very little space for anything other than his cot. Any advice on how to carry out the gradual withdrawal method in such a small room as three steps from the door is my lo's cot? I don't want to walk striaght out the door but dont want to literally move gradually away from my lo\s cot a step at a time as i dont think this would be as effective. Any ideas?

[jordiwes]

Hi there,

I just wanted to post as I can relate about the hair comfort thing! I have to bend over the change table the whole time I'm changing my DD so she can pull on my hair.

One thing is though, although she prefers my hair, she does use her own hair to go to sleep at night. Try the GW and see how she responds. You can every couple of days you can move towards the door, and then you can start shutting the door a few inches at a time. So she sees full mummy, 3/4 of mummy, 1/2 of mummy, etc.

My LO loves a nightlight too.