2.5 yr old middle of the night visits into our room

[I&L's mom]

Our 2.5 yr old has been in her big girls bed for a while - close to a yr.  And for a few weeks, she's been consistently wandering into our room for us to walk her back to her room.  A lot of times she has her paci, other times she wants us to find her paci (gotta wean her, I know).  Times when I hear her come in and don't react to see what she'll do, she just stands there or go over to the door to open and close it to let us know she's here.  When she was younger she would cry for us to come into her room/ or run out crying if something upset her, but now, she just walks in and waits for us to walk her back.  It's becoming a nightly ritual, and with a one yr old, who keeps us up as it is, it's draining us out even more!  Help...

[We Three]

Hmmmmmm...I'm sure someone else will be along soon who knows alot more than me....but.....if it were me, I'd just walk her back...no talking at all....no stimulus.....(basically, no payoff!). Just walk her back, put her in bed, cover her, and walk out. Hopefully then she'll come to realize that it's not really worth it...you don't talk to her, play with her, etc....so maybe then she'll just give it up?   

[I&L's mom]

That's what we have been doing, and normally I walk her back, even though she would like her daddy to do it (favors daddy these days).  But it doesn't seem to be taking...

[speechie]

Hmmmmmm...I'm sure someone else will be along soon who knows alot more than me....

Anne- you have valid opinions and know just as much as the rest of us mommas struggling to get our LOs to sleep!  Very good advice!

What time of night does she do this? bedtime or the middle of the night?
What is her usual sleep schedule? Is it possible she's UT?

[I&L's mom]

She goes to sleep around 8:30pm and wakes around 7/7:30.  She naps around 1:30pm for an hr or 1.5 hrs.
She usually walks in after midnight, close to 1am - sometimes once more even after that.  I do wonder if she is undertired.  If so, do I just put her down later or push her nap up?  Hmmmm...

Thanks ladies for your thoughts.  I want to be done with this cycle soon...

[We Three]

My dd is also 2.5, (will be 3 in Dec.), and like your lo, has  10.5-11 hrs a night, plus a 90 minute nap at the same time as your lo. So it ends up being 12.5 hrs total sleep....and my dd isn't UT.  I say that just so you can compare...not sure if that helps.

Our schedule is alot similar except my dd goes to bed later, probably around 9:30, since she wakes from nap at 4ish, she just isn't tired until 9ish.  I could probably drop the nap, but I SO need it!!! 


Wonder if you might try a 9:00 bedtime??

[MJMom]

1am is an intereseting wake up time.  Is she awake for very long when she wakes up?

I apologize if these questions seem obvious, but we've been goign through some similar things, so I'm going to run down my list for you of things that actually have resulted in that wake up time.
1.  Is she potty trained?  If yes, does she have to go potty?  If no, does she have to go potty?  If she's started, but not finished, does she have to go potty?  In otherwords, try to rule this out.  Because it is reasonably close to her bed time, I wonder if she's getting the urge to go, but not sure what it is so it's waking her up.  This happened to our DD until we started cutting back her liquids before bed.
2.  Is she too cold?
3.  Is she too hot?
4.  Could she be teething?
5. Is she in a big bed?  Could she be getting uncomfortable with the sheets/blankets in the big bed?
6.  Has something frightened her recently that she could be bothered with sleeping herself?  Thunder?  Noises that go bump in the night, etc.

And if all else fails, have you asked her?  I was actually surprised at some of the answers by daughter gave us.  So then we came up with strategies together to help her sleep through the night in her own bed.  It still doesn't always happen, but luckily it happens more than not lately. 

Her sleep sounds OK to me personally.  If she were up for a long time in the middle of the night I would wonder that, but I think the UT at this age results more in fighting bed times or early wake ups.  Not the 1 am unless it lasted for 1hr plus.  Just my .02. 

But then what do I really know about toddlers and sleep.  I have my own issues myself!   

[Mama2boys]

was going to suggest some of the things Alissa did.

for us DS 'wakes/wimpers' at about 12/1 and then at 5 and its normally because he is weeing. If he UT he will wake out of his sleep at the 5ish wee but sometimes goes back straight to bed and sometimes wakes up.

the 5ish wake-up was also because the traffic picks up around then and light sound filters into his room , but during that light phase of sleep topped with wee wakes him up so we got a white noise machine and its helpful for at least half the nights....

[Layla]

I would ask her too. I remember Isabella doing this and I asked her why and she said she felt scared ... so we got some extra "things" in her room to help her feel more secure (like pic of mummy & daddy), keep her door and our door open, etc.....

This used to annoy me soooo much though. I actually got scared a few times because I would be fast asleep and could feel someone breathing next to me and I'd open my eyes to see her face in my face . A few times I screamed out and she'd cry cause I scared her   .

We would just take her back without any fuss and it somehow dissapeared

[I&L's mom]

Thanks for all your thoughts and suggestions ladies.
I didn't think about the wee aspect.  Although she was doing this before potty training, she is recently potty trained.  But we still put diapers on for nighttime, so I didn't really think much of it.  Maybe the wet is bugging her and waking her up regardless though.  As to discomfort, I don't really know what I can do to make her more temp stable, as we don't have ac and temperature does drop and change throughout the night.
And silly, I think I need to ask her why she IS getting up then - I don't think I'll get much of an answer at 1am, but maybe during the day...  she usually has verbalized she wants to find her paci once in a while.  So I need to get rid of the paci too.
I'm glad to hear it does disappear - I will be waiting for the day.  It's strange to have my 1yr old sleep better now than my 2.5 yr old, who keeps me up with this stuff.
Her sleep is moving more towards going to bed at 9pm now, but that doesn't seem to have made difference in her nightly interruptions.  I do know she wakes more on the one day of the week she goes to daycare, probably due to a lot of stimulations. But I don't really know how to address that either.

[Layla]

I actually put my dd into bed earlier on the day she gets more stimulation. Childcare used to do that to Isabella too. We've had bedtime pushed to 7.30pm (from her regular 6.30pm - no nap anymore though) as we've had alot of disruptions for the past week and we had night wakings in the last 3 nights (which is unusual for her now). Its small things.... like she wants to find her doll or she can't find her tissues.... but its still nightwakings. But i know its related to her getting overtired from the later badtime. Tonight i will plan bedtime by 6pm (for her to be asleep by 6.30pm). Also if you feel that she's really hyper and had lots going on during the day, you might want to try a longer windown.