2 year old says "no night night" followed by tantrum

[1sttimemamma]

My spirted 2 year old DS is now starting to throw tantrums before nap and sometimes bedtime. I'm also concerned that he never seems to get enough sleep. The times when he does get enough sleep - it's a different story.

Here's our routine

6:30am - wake
12:30 - nap (2 hours and I wake him if he's not awake)
6:45ish - 7pm - bedtime. ***He sometimes stays awake and talks for awhile  like around 7:30pm)

So, if he falls asleep at 7:30 and wakes at 6:30 - he's getting 11, which I think sounds like a lot - but I'm not sure it's enough. When he sleeps 12 hours, our days are much better - less fits, etc.

He's got his 2 year molars, so that isn't it.

When I put him down for his nap - he's yawning, whiney, etc. Now he's messing around before sleeping, which usually means he's overtired.

I can't figure out how to change his schedule - do I start the nap earlier? Do I cut the nap shorter? Make bedtime even earlier (6:20ish)?

Thanks!!!

[becky1969]

Sounds like naps are the main time he's throwing tantrums? Sometimes bed, but usually naps?

The first thing I see is you've got 6 hours of awake time before nap, but only about 4.5 before bedtime.  Now, my son is the type who can do lots more A before nap and less before bed; even now at nearly 4 he does best if he only has 4 hours of A time before bed.  So it's not necessarily a problem.  But if little guy is throwing a fit you can try a noon nap time and see how that works.

Also, as toddlers get older they often need a longer wind down and more of a warning to shift from play to sleep.  With my son at that age we instituted the 'timer rule'.  We warned him "5 minutes until nap time! Mommy will set the timer, and when time goes off it's time for jumps!" (my son gets to jump off the couch 5 times before sleep periods to get his wiggles out!).  After that he knows it's time to go upstairs where we do our regular wind down of potty, book reading, night-nights to the room, and songs.  So you might want to start giving your son a head's up about when nap time is going to happen.  You might also try extending wind down with an extra story or two.  If you want, we can go over your current wind down and see if anything can be changed!

Try that earlier nap time and longer wind down and let me know how it goes!

Oh, and an 11 hour night is just fine at this age!  Esp. with a nice 2 hour nap.

[1sttimemamma]

Thanks Becky! Today was sort of a disaster - he played in bed until 1:45, so he was OT. Woke up after 1 hr 40mins (or so) and was upset - lots of crying. So - we're trying at 6:15 bedtime.

I think nap needs to be earlier. Some days based on his attitude he's down before noon - and that usually results in a pretty good nap. I think if he's awake at 6:30 - putting him down at noon is a good start.

My wind down routine for nap time has never really been consistent, but it may help if I was consistent. Usually - we lunch, go upstairs and listen to music and read some books. At night we've been consistent and the fits aren't as bad, but he still has them. So - I like the timer idea and something to "get the sillies out". I will try this tomorrow. I think I should also probably limit the books and say up front - like 3 books or so.

There are times when he sleeps 12 hours at night, then a 2 hour nap. Then that night - he takes FOREVER to fall asleep and it seems to start an OT cycle. It just never seems to be the perfect amount of sleep.

[becky1969]

I think when he has a 12 hour night and a 2 hour nap you need to give him more A before bed than 4 hours.  That's probably too short, esp. since we know he can handle 5.5-6 in the first part of the day.  At this age most kids are doing 5 before nap, 5 after.  When he has a good nap in him I think you might need to try more like 4.5-5 hours of A before bed.  That will limit the UT playing.  With toddlers, they start out UT but play so much they get into OT land!  

I think formalizing your naptime wind down will help.  They enjoy their playing SO much at this age tha tit is important for them to have a clear line between awake and nap time.  A ritual is soooooo helpful.  Also having a certain # of books is v. help too.  My son knows that he only gets 3 stories before nap and 3 before bed.  we've even gone so far as to say 2 short, 1 long before nap and 2 long, 1 short before bed.    He totally knows which books are short and long now! Of course at 2 thats not possible, but even just limiting to 3 is a great idea.  That helps him know when book #3 is over, it's time for night-nights.  When the # isn't limited, then it's a big surprise when mommy says story time is over.  Sleep should feel inevitable to them, and so with a ritualized wind down they can almost go down the checklist in their mind and know they are that much closer to sleep.  Their body begins to respond to those steps.