first timer - sleep probs escalating - need advise

[shaylid]

Hi all, I am a first time mum and first time forum posting, so hope i am doing this right... both motherhood and posting  and that this is the right forum to post this...

I have a 9.5 week old (who immediately became the love of my life) and he has been a charm in anything to do with sleeping. At 7.5 weeks I realized we can skip the 2am feed and after a couple of nights of habitual waking and no feeds we started to get stretches of 6.5 hours a night. what a joy. he did 1.5 - 2 hours naps and fell asleep with dummy in just a few seconds after 5 minutes of ritual (swaddle, cuddle, and music) when dummy fell out - he didn't wake. then at 8.5 weeks it all started to go wrong (I think it was just after a short attack of some mild constipation)..... he started waking after 45 minutes into naps and i can't settle him down again until after next feed. after a couple of days like that he started to wake 40 min after putting him down for night sleep which never happened before. the last two nights he woke up at 2:30am and 40 minutes thereafter until feed. This morning it took him over 20 minutes to go down for his nap. so... basically.... its escalating and fast....
He is still on a 3 hour schedule, his A time is usually around hour to hour 15 before he becomes fussy, and as far as i can backtrack there was no recent change in routine. I am now by his bed observing to try and start wake to sleep for naps later today....
but I really need some advise, any advise, on how to stop and reverse this escalating problem before it gets out of hand (which to me feels like already has).
Anyone?
Thanks in advance

[huntersmummyinoz]

hi and welcome

sounds like you've done a fabulous job getting your LO started on EASY. it's possible he just needs a nudge more A time as it sounds like he may be UT undertired (clues being taking ages to settle for a nap and waking after 45mins and not being able to resettle). his times are actually pretty good for his age so i'd try just an extra 10mins and see if that helps him settle more quickly for naps. it may also help you to be able to extend his naps. http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=84884.0

also, waking during naps after one sleep cycle (45mins) can also be developmental at this age, which is usually solved by a nudge more A time and also W2S (wake to sleep).

let us know how it goes

[shaylid]

hey, thanks for that. that is very useful.
last night he was so exhausted that he gave a 6.5 hours sleep. Today he had some appointments in the morning so he was a bit all over the place but now we are back and he has passed 1:30 nap time with wake to sleep technique and was easily settled for another 30 min when he woke after 1:40. Decided to give him another 30 min (to go for 2 hours nap) which i figured he needed given the poor sleep during the morning. so plan is - to get A time longer for another 10 min and continue wake to sleep for a couple of weeks. I am committed to staying home with him from now all through the weekend. so will give update after that. Thank you again. 
Also i think that once his "better" again, i might start weaning him off the dummy to assist sleeping independently. any advise on how to do that without causing distress or upsetting nap times to much?

[huntersmummyinoz]

yay what a great nap

keep us posted on how the routine tweaking goes and good luck.

regarding dummy weaning, my LO still has his so no advice there i'm afraid. here is a link on gradual withdrawal of dummy (like i said havent used it myself tho) http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=2361.0 and if you post a Q on the Props Board you will get loads of advice from mummies who have experienced this over there

[shaylid]

hi
thanks for the support. unfortunately no improvement yet. I am managing to lengthen his A time by 10 min and he is falling asleep much quicker but over the last day his naps have shortened to 30 min and then it takes so long for him to fall asleep again and he wakes on every jolt which is every few minutes. If he wakes up at 2am he settels quickly but then wakes every 40min until feeding time. poor thing he has become cranky and unhappy. really not sure what to do. am just going to continue and hope that will sort its self. maternity nurse suggested that this might be developmental which some kids have at around week 8 but i am not sure it started at 8.5 weeks and we are gonna be 10 weeks tomorrow.
words of comfort and advise are more than welcomed

[huntersmummyinoz]

30/35 min naps usually mean OT so maybe the 10mins was too much at once for him. what temperment is he? http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0

he may do better with a really gradual increase of A time in 5 min increments. i had to do that with my LO as the 10/15min recommended jumps were just way too much for him. once he showed tired signs i would extend with something low key like a walk around the house or garden, looking out the window, reading a story, singing a song, cuddle with a soft toy, etc etc for just 5 mins and then straight into his room for wind down. after a few days to a week he could handle the slightly longer time on his own. http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=120362.0

[shaylid]

That's what i thought as well, so last A time today I made sure i follow his cues and he managed to hang in there an 1:05. went down reasonably easily and without calling out for me and slept for 50 minute (but did sleep to wake) - i guess that's kind of an improvement. took me around 20 min to get him back to sleep and am waiting to see what will happen now. Did the test. he seems to be a combination between text book and touchy. Am i supposed to keep trying to help him fall back to sleep when he wakes up? I think an important question for me is, am i going in too soon? maybe I am actually encouraging this pattern. Its rarely a screaming cry-cry, its more like a consistent yell out. I tried extending the time of when i go in but he doesn't stop until i come back and start settling him. accidental parenting?

[huntersmummyinoz]

IMHO he is still so young that i would go in as you are and help resettle him to sleep. some bubs find it really hard to learn to transition between sleep cycles for naps (a good nap of 1.5hrs+ consists of one whole sleep cycle of 45/50 mins after which they come into a light awakening and then resettle into a deep sleep for another sleep cycle) so W2S and shh/patting to resettle helps teach them how to get to the next sleep cycle eventually on their own.

i think he definitely needs the extra A time in order to get to good length naps of 1.5hr+ BUT given that longer nap he did today, i think you need to keep one eye on the clock and another eye on his cues and extend in the smaller A time increments.

which W2S technique are you using, the lightly stir and then sneak out or the HTTJ (holding thru the jolts)?

[shaylid]

today was the worse yet, could not resettle no matter what i did eventually he was so tired he couldn't even fall asleep for the first 20 min. poor thing he was so tired.... what do you do when you missed the window and they do get over tired and not resettle until next feed - put to sleep after a very short A? I am using light stir. will give it a go for a few days and then if not work will change. any thoughts?
Thanks so much for the help.

[huntersmummyinoz]

i'd stick with the lightly stir for W2S, but hide in the room and observe, if he starts to waken more then try HTTJ (holding thru the jolts, the other option).

yep put to sleep after a super short A if you miss the window. is it possible he was actually fighting sleep because he was UT instead? (but in the process of fighting the nap he got OT and missed his window?)

[shaylid]

I think that is exactly what is going on - first nap of the day is 45 min and then after 20 minutes for all the rest - thats knd of the pattern, but even a 5 minute stretch of A for first A of the day caused him to be over tired. its not getting better and the S2W not working. i'll keep updating.