short naps monster and having another child at school

[Rachel Sarah]

Hi, I have just joined today and still getting my head around it all so apologies if I am doing this wrong.

My second DD is just 16 weeks old, for the past week I have been using EASY 4 hourly. I used it the first time with my first DD around 5 months and it went fairly well.
This time, for the past week I have been trying to get my DD to take longer naps as I found that they were getting shorter and shorter ( one day I think she only napped for an hour tops throughout the whole day), this was making her very crabby and wanting to get fed all the time ( she is BF) to the point of being sick.
I have started her on solids which is going well, so so far no problems there. The main problem is that it has been a week today and there is no real change, she cries the minute she realises she is going for a nap ( She is swaddled) I then spend anywhere up to 40 mins trying to settle her using pu/pd but mainly patting and ssshing, she will eventually go to sleep only to wake up between 20-40 mins later, it changes nap to nap. I try to get in her room before she wakes up so I can settle her, but with the time varying so much I might as well spend the whole time in her room, which isn't practical with another child. With my other DD at school I am finding it hard to get this 40 min nap sorted as I have to go and pick her up from school.
I feel like I spend all day in her room, my poor other DD hardly sees me as i am trying to get this DD settled. Every night she goes to sleep only to wake up 20-40 mins later, if I can get her settled that is her usually till the next day about 5am.
She will not take a dummy, and I have tried letting one arm out so she can suck on her fingers ( she does this during the day sitting in her chair) but this just seems to wind her up more. I sometimes get her to sleep two hours in the morning by going back in to settle her( can take up to 20 mins) but in the afternoon Im lucky if I get 20 mins I can't push it to far as I have to get my other DD from school, so then try to get her to take another nap from 4-5. I just feel like I am fighting a losing battle.
I don't know what to do, I am so tired with all the stress and crying ( her and me!!) I feel like I am missing out on what should be a good point in her life, and my other dd is being neglected. Any help, hints or tips would be appreciated.   

[Tweakster]

Hi there big hugs.  Napping is very developmental in most LO's...some of them just do it naturally, others have a hard time with the skill.  I spent hours and hours in Finn's room with shush/pat from about 14 - 20 weeks.  It was very very hard and I can't even imagine it with another child to worry about.  So I totally hear where you are coming from.  The thing is though, the proof is in the pudding because Finn is now an independent sleeper in his crib with no props and very little assistance from us ever.  I know that the time I spent helping him learn has paid off.

Can you post your routine like EAS and show her waking times and bedtime, eating and napping times (even if she's just napping when you are out)

At her age you are looking at Awake time of 1 hour and 45 - 2 hours - that is from her eyes open to eyes closed so it includes her Eating time as well.  She'll be moving from 3x 1.5 hour naps plus CN to 2x 1.5 - 2 hours plus a 45 min CN to take her to bedtime.  And in theory sleep longer at night :-)

When your routine is up you will get more eyes on this - hugs again!

[Rachel Sarah]

Hi thanks so much for your reply, the last couple of nights have been so hard. I'm exhausted!!
Normal/average routine.
5/530 am feed BF
back down to sleep
7/7.30am feed BF
7.30-9.30 activity (including taking older DD to school)
9.30 -11.30 nap ( this involves going up after 20 mins and waiting for her to wake up and settling her back down with patting and shhhing for about 10/20 mins, not always successful)
11/11.30 BF
12/12.30 solids
1/1.30 nap (usually  20-40 mins, have tried to settle back down, not usually successful as have to go pick other DD up at 3pm)
3.30/4pm BF
4-5pm nap ( 40 mins sometimes able to settle for an hour)
5.30 solids
6-7 bf and bath
7.30 bed
after 20-40 mins wakes up and usually can get to settle if not up until 9.30pm -last night 10:45pm .


I feel bad as in the morning trying to get her to settle but in the afternoon the two short naps suit my schedule if they were an hour it would be great!! With the afternoon naps she does get really tired, so any ideas would be great!

[Rachel Sarah]

I meant to add with the last few nights she has been waking up either at 1am or nearly 3am I feed her and she feeds from both sides. I try to put her back down drowsy but still aware of what is going on. I don't know if this is confusing her more as all other times she doesn't get fed before I put her down. But I feel that I can't not feed her as it has been at least 5-7 hours since her last feed!!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, there is a growth spurt at 4 months and it's a pretty big one.  Could be the reason for the needing to eat more at night.  The best idea is to feed her at this point, if she's taking a full feed right now and it's something that just started i.e. not habitual.

The routine does look a bit OT, long A times for her age - have you tried earlier bedtime to try and compensate for some of the short naps?

[Rachel Sarah]

I have tried to move her bedtime earlier, but it seems to unsettle her, I dont know if the house is too noisy ( DH coming home, dinner, older DD bathtime, homework etc). I have had some glimmer of hope though. There has been a couple of times where she has slept 1/1:30 in the morning or in the afternoon and there has been a couple of nights where she has gone down without waking up again!! It gives me strength to carry on, she had her 3rd jabs two days ago and is a bit unsettled during the day and night, but hopefully that will soon pass!

[~Sara~]

Oh, yeah, shots will mess with sleep.  Aaron was SO hard to settle for naps and nighttime for about 4 days afterward.  How have the past couple of days gone?  Any difference?