Feel like I've tried everything - keeps getting worse

[jessmered]

I have a 7 month old who I have been doing PU/PD with for at least six weeks. The beginning started out good and we have had some good nights, but lately the night just seem to be getting worse and worse. At first I thought that she wasn't getting enough to eat during the day, so i have been trying to feed her more and longer times. She has started solids (about a month ago) and eats twice a day - I'm going to try to increase it to three times. She was waking very randomly and erractically, but it was only two or three times a night.

Now we are up all night it seems like. I don't know where I have gone wrong. Naps have actually improved in the last few weeks, so I think she is getting adequate daytime sleep, but the nights are horrific. Last night was:
try to go bed at 7:00pm
PU/PD till 7:30
back up at 7:45
awake until 8:45 asleep until 10:00
woke up crying at 10:00
fed her for a few mintues
back to sleep with PU/PD until 10:30
up again at 2:30
fed again
up again at 4:30
tried to put to sleep without feeding using pu/pd
gave up at 5:30 and she slept on DH chest until 7:30

I realize that it seems that nursing is a prop, and it could be, but I don't nurse her to sleep anytime except right before bedtime and during the night. And even then, it doesn't always work. I try to make sure she is awake before I put her down for the night and I try to keep her awake through out the feeding.

But what I don't understand is that she HAS slept for a longer stretch of time before - actually within the last week she slept for a 6 hour stretch. Which is why I think that the wakings have to do with hunger, not props. But if someone has any other insight, I am very willing to listen and try anything. Thank you for your response!

[jessmered]

thanks for replying - last night she was up every hour - i'm so tired.....

Here's the EASY (somedays we are a little more off than others)
7:00 am wake/eat (bf)
8:30 am solids
10:00 nap
11:30 (this varies quite a bit) wake/eat (bf)
12:30 solids - I want to add this in if she needs more calories, but we aren't doing it yet
2:30 nap
3:30 wake / eat (bf)
6:30/6:45 bath pjs
7:10 bf
7:30 bedtime

Teething might be an issue some nights, but I don't think it is the problem all the time - and there is no change if I give her meds (tylenol). There have been more NW since solids, but she has also had some really good nights since we started - I was think it might be gas and I was going to try a little gas releif med tonight. Feeding might be a prop - but last night I only tried to feed her once and she was up every hour still - I almost never feed her to sleep for naps and she goes down no problem.

I think that I might be holding her too long with PU/PD and I do need to work on that but I'm not sure that is always the issue. When I pick her up, she is immediately asleep so I put her back down and she stays asleep for 5-20 mintues and then wakes up again. so I do it again and it is the same thing. So PU/PD takes FOREVER because we aren't just doing it over and over again. But again I could be holding her too long too.

Should I stay with her until she is asleep? I feel like I do, but maybe it isn't deep sleep. I was worried that me staying in there would become a prop too. But again, sometimes she falls asleep easily, but just wakes up so soon after.

Any thing else you can think of? thanks again!

[jessmered]

I agree with the A time in the evening - some times it is hard to extend that last nap and then we are running out of time to have another nap - do you know what I mean? She dropped the catnap on her own so I don't want to reintroduce that.... should I move up bed time based on the last nap of the day?

I don't mind putting her to bed earlier, but I was trying to keep those times consistent. I will work on maintaining a 3 hour A time.... sometimes she gets tired before that and is a cranky monster though - i was trying to follow her cues and sometimes it ends up being earlier than the 3 hour mark.

I think not staying in the room is good... I have been sleeping on the floor, but I just didn't think she knew I was there because I usually come in after she is asleep.

When you say settle in the cot on her own, can you describe how sleepy she should be before putting her in? If i put her in when her eyes are still open, she gets more agitated and won't settle, so i usually put her in when she has decided to close her eyes. then she rolls around for a moment and then falls asleep. She does this in the middle of the night too, but then wakes up after a short time. Any thoughts on this?

[jessmered]

I just don't feel like I can hear her properly without being in the room. Even if I am out of her sight while she settles?

And if I put her in her crib with her eyes open, I just feel like she will never settle. sometimes she keeps her eyes closed all the time she is crying and we are doing pu/pd.... should she be in her crib then?

I know I sound exactly like all those people in Tracy's books - "It won't work for my baby" - I'll try harder..... I'm just so tired.... And so depressed because it really seemed to work in the beginning. She has settled herself before and I don't know why she won't do it again. Thanks for all your advice.... I appreciate the time all the moderators put into this website. Hopefully, I will be a sucess story and can pass along some support to someone else! We'll see!

[anna*]

((((hugs)))) hun. Listen. You don't need to be in the room to hear her. If she needs you she will let you know. If you're doing PUPD at 7 months, you do n't hold her til she is calm or drowsy. If she's crying, you first try to settle her in her cot. If that doesn't work, you pick her up, hold her just for a few seconds, then lay her back down again even though she is still crying, then try again to settle her in her cot. When she calms down, it needs to happen in her cot, not in your arms.

[jessmered]

anna* - thankyou for the honest opinion. Sometimes i think it might be my insecurities that hinder her and her sleep.

Last night went a little better. she woke 40 mins after I put her to sleep and I was able to settle her in her crib. then she woke at 11pm and it took a little while longer, but with a little pu/pd she settled in her crib without feeding. At 1:30am I was worried that she wasn't going to sleep well the rest of the night. I fed her then (I felt engorged so I didn't mind doing it) and she was almost asleep when i put her in her crib, but she rolled around a bit and settled. then she didn't wake until 6 am! some might consider that an early wake, but I was fine with it and she wasn't going back to sleep, so we just got up.

I'm sure we still have some work to do, but at least I got some much needed rest for one night...

[anna*]

(((hugs))) sweetie it is SO SO SO hard to know what to do for the best, and even harder when you are exhausted. Believe me we have all been there. It sounds like you had a great night. I think the key for you is going to be settling her in her crib. At this age, if you hold them until they are calm they just get outraged when you lie them down again, which is why it's so important that they settle in their crib not in your arms.