my 8 month old won't sleep!

[robyn dussault]

My 8 month old son never seems to want to sleep.  I have been following the EASY program. I feed him in the morning, he plays for about 3 hours and then has a nap for 30 minutes, wakes up and I breastfeed him, then he has lunch, plays for about 3 hours and then naps again for 30 minutes, wakes to eat, breast milk and then supper, plays for about 2 hours, then I give him one last milk feeding and then he has a bedtime routine- a bath, soothing massage, pjs, read a story, then I rock him a few minutes and put him in his crib, pat his back or rub his head a few minutes  until he gets comfortable and then leave the room.  He wakes up anywheres from 30 minutes to an hour later,, just to be comforted. He stands up in his crib so I lay him back down, pat his back  a little and he settles down again.  This goes on all night!  Sometimes between 1am and 3am I can't settle him so I feed him.  But even then he keeps waking up as soon as I leave the room, or get back to my bed.  I have tried the pick up-put down method,,, shh shh pat,,,, leaving the room for a few minutes and coming back,,,,, nothing seems to work.  His cries just get harder and stronger the longer I leave him alone.  My husband would like to try to let him cry it out, but I don't think it would work for him, he just gets more upset, and I wouldn't be able to listen to him cry that long.  My son is such a happy boy during the day, you would never know that the only time we slept was for 2 hours between 4am and 6am.  But my husband and I are both exhausted and frustrated and don't really know where to go from here.  Please help!!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, welcome to BW.  Have you read Tracy's books?

At 8 mths they are typically doing 2x 1.5 hour naps - I don't think your LO is getting enough sleep during the day, he's getting less than half of what most LO's his age are getting.  Has he always been a short napper?  Have you tried extending his naps?

A time is around 3 - 3.25 hours but on a 30 min nap I suspect it would be a lot less and he's getting OT.  Given the amount of NW you are having, it sounds like some bad OT to me.

Could you post your routine with his wake time, nap times, activity times and when he's asleep for the night. 

Tracy's books and methods promote a kinder, gentler approach to help you teach your LO independent sleep.  Crying it out breaks the trust that you have with your LO and it can be hard to get that back.  We can help you with getting him on track without leaving him to cry on his own.  There are different methods for this age group, we just have to find the right one.

[robyn dussault]

Hi, his naps have always been short   i have tried to extend his naps but it always seems when he wakes up he is awake for good.  even when he only napped for 10 minutes because the dog barked loudly and woke him up, i tried to comfort him back to sleep but to no avail!  i do believe he is over tired, when he wakes up, he is rarely happy, i think he is stuck in a short sleep cycle and cant get himself to sleep on his own. 
he usually wakes up to eat at 6am and i feed him but he always falls back asleep for about an hour or until around 7:30 at which time i feed him again and get up for the day. he has breakfast-oatmeal or cereal or a banana and then activity time until  about 10:30. he might yawn, but usually i just know 3 hours is long enough and i rock him to calm him for a nap, which is 30 minutes. when he gets up i breastfeed him and then have some lunch.  activity time until roughly 3:00 and then another nap.  i breastfeed him  and then he has supper between 4-5pm.  activity until 7:00, one more milk feeding and then the bath, read a book,  and then bed time.  i rock him in his room until he is calm but still awake and then lay him in his crib.  he is in bed by 8:00pm.  and then he wakes up any time from 30 minutes to an hour later.  i wonder if his teeth are bothering him (he has none yet, but constantly drools and chews on toys), i wonder if he has separation anxiety (he always tries to hold on to my hand at night when i lay him back down in his crib),,,,or if he just doesn't know how to get back to sleep on his own!!!!
looking forward to any advice you have to give
thanks

[Tweakster]

HI there, ok the first thing you need to decide is a wake time.  And then you build your routine from there.  Since he's waking at 6 you could start there.  If he is going back to sleep very soon after that waking, he will start to use that as part of his night sleep and it makes it harder for that first nap.  The first nap and nap timing is very important to their wake time.

An example of a day with a 6 am waking is:
Awake 6
Nap 1.5 hrs @ 9 - 10:30 (A = 3 hrs)
Nap 1.5 hrs @ 1:30 - 3 (A = 3 hrs)
Asleep by 6:30 (A = 3.5 hrs)

To get those naps elongated you need to decide between shush/pat or PU/PD really, possibly some gradual withdrawal.  What do you think would work best for him?