losing confidence... touchy baby crying for EVERY nap

[Alexa's mummy]

Hi,

I was wondering if someone might be able to give me some ideas or tips to improve my naps with my gorgeous nearly 16 week old textbook/touchy baby girl (VERY touchy for sleep!)

When i first discovered BW (abt 8 weeks old) we were having a terrible time, she was chronically OT and sleeping was terrible, mostly relying on car, baby sling, pram to get her to sleep. nights consisted of literally hours of non stop crying (our worst was up all night til 6am until she fell asleep, but only til 8.30am when the tears started again!)

since then she has improved vastly on EASY and in the last couple of weeks we are able to do our bedtime routine which has been the same since 6weeks old, put her down in her cot, give her a kiss and walk out of the room. not even a mantra cry anymore! she silently drifts off to sleep by herself (i never thought i'd see the day!) i think this BT success is due to the BT routine which lasts over an hour of massage, lavender bath, swaddle and bottle which is so reassuring and familiar to her by now.

Naps however are still a major struggle... i have to watch her cues as well as the clock. i take her upstairs about 20 mins before sleep time, have 10 mins of quiet holding and swaying in dimly lit room, swadde about 10mins before sleep time, hold her and begin shush-pat very gently and quietly. she then begins to get very distressed and arches her back, screaming and fighting with me. she literally cries so hard i can hear her voice goes hoarse. the only thing that stops her crying is for me to holdher more in a cradle position (i read here someone else who wondered if over their shoulder for their touchy baby was too stimulating, and i think this is the case for my daughter). So i cradle her, put dummy in her mouth, and have to jiggle/bounce while shushing and patting her bottom. this will stop her crying, if i have got the timings right and got her "window" she will stop crying after only abt 5-10mins and et a glazed far-away look in her eyes so i stop moving (once the cries stop) then i keep patting, put her in cot and continue softly patting for a few moments and she lies there with eyes open and will fall asleep after another couple of minutes.

if i have got the timings less than bang on she can literally scream like that for 45minutes. she gets hot and sweaty, hoarse voice and it s very physically and emotionally draining for me too. i find it very distressing seeing her so upset.

i know it is so important to catch her in her sleep window. but since she has been capable of slightly longer A time (increased by 10 mins now, but she actually seems to fall asleep more on 1hr 45/ 1hr 50 min A time really).  this change has rocked my confidence a little as i often am wondering if she is UT and frustrated with me gettign her ready for sleep before she is properly tired...

what my question is, is this normal/typical for a touchy baby at nap time?! because nights are so lovely now with no tears i know she is apable of falling asleep independently with no tears, but i had just kind of taken it that because she finds it so difficult to switch off that this just goes with the territory. but maybe i am making it worse and distressing her more in some way? maybe she is screaming out of frustration then gives up finally? when i have tried just putting her in the cot when she is calm (ie not starting shush pat in my arms at all) she mostly lies in the cot doing her mantra cry (so i sit next to her with hand n her but dont intervene) for about 20mins or so (past her sleep window) and then it escalates out of frustration, so i pik her up, then because by this point she is way OT i have 45mins + of screaming. 

does anyone out there have any suggestions or ideas to try for a very touchy sleep baby whose happiness is dependent on getting these naps... but  feel like i am torturing her in the process of getting her there! 

thanks in advance x

[Alexa's mummy]

after reading this back to myself it seemed so obvious that the shush pat was bothering her as thats when she'd start crying. i have just had major success for first time (almost ever!) it seemed clear that it was the shush pat that was bothering her. so i took her up to room at awake time 1hr 15 (seemed sooo early) did quiet nappy change, swaddled her, held her while rreading quie rhyming stories, laid in cot at 1hr 25ish. she grizzled and grunted so i started shush pat but she continued so i just held hand on tummy, one on her legs and she took a full 20mins or so to fall asleep but with NO TEARS! i think it was overstimulating for her before!

yay! : )

[*Jo*]

Hi there

well i think she is telling you something if you listen very closely (in my opinion that is ) when you do the wind down and you start the patting and she arches her back she is telling you this "I dont want you to pat me, just put me to bed, i will settle myself" at least thats what we used to get from that. Because shes touchy then maybe all that wind down is too much for her when shes really ready to just be put in her bed.

So my thoughts are that you dont do the patting unless she asks for it.... by crying when you have left the room. Give her a chance to settle herself before starting the patting, if you dont give her the opportunity you wont know if she can do it, for naps that is, because you know she can do it at night.

how does that sound

[*Jo*]

haha! we posted at the same time!!!! sounds like you got it sorted hun, well done!

[Alexa's mummy]

heehee thanks so much! i am soo pleased, i really hope it continues! thanks for your help : ) xx