3.5 year old not eating

[marifer514]

Hi All,
I am absolutely worried sick about my son, he is three and a half and his eating habits have gone from bad to worst. For the past six months he has not been eating anything consistently. For a while he went through an only chicken phase, then mince meat, or roast ham. He used to at least try food but since November he is so picky and has pretty much be living on cereal, toast, bread, cheese, and sometimes ham. He rarely tries his food at Nursery or at home. We don't force him to eat and the only thing we do is we are not making desserts anymore. For a while I tried making two types of meals and allowed him to choose. That didn't work, he just looks at me and say he is no hungry.
He loves his breakfast (although he does not like eggs); we are letting him have a big breakfast now since it is the only meal he eats in the day. We are now giving him vitamins and it opened his appetite for a while but that's not working any more.

What can I do? When I was a kid I was horrible with food and used to hate meal times because I was forced to eat. I only started to enjoy food as an adult because I was not forced to eat it. I don't want him to feel pressured but I don't know what to do. He is happy and very active, so I am not concerned too much for now for his health but he has horrible food habits.

As a baby he used to love food and would eat everything. It is in his terrible three's that things have gone bad.

Thanks for your help.
Maria

[Peek-a-boo]

My 4 yo DS is like this.  He eats a big breakfast, small lunch, next to no dinner.  He sometimes asks for snacks, but rarely actually eats them.  I try to make his breakfast as balanced as possible since that seems to be the time when he's hungry--so a whole grain, protein, and fruit--and then offer him wholesome food at his other meals.  If he doesn't eat I don't worry about it.  If he asks for a snack after not eating a meal, I offer a limited range of wholesome things that I'm okay with him having as a meal replacement (apples with peanut butter, a banana, etc).  On the rare occasions that we have something at dinner that appeals to him (he loves calzones), then he eats very little breakfast the next day, so I figure he's really getting all he needs and don't sweat it.  He's energetic and growing, so I don't want to create a battle or pressure issue.  I also don't want to do a song and dance to try to bribe him to eat, so we serve what we serve for dinner--it normally has several components, main dish, sides, etc, and then lunch and breakfast do tailor more to his preference. 

[marifer514]

I have heard that it is common to experience eating problems around 3 and 4 and that later it settles down. Thanks for sharing your experience. I think I made the mistake of asking my family for advice

[MLK]

I agree with Bethany - at 3 my DS1 used to eat one big meal a day and just pick at the rest. Their growth slows right at that age so it must be all they need.

[deb]

Agree with PP.

I'm also wondering if some of his food dislikes might be related to the textures of the foods? We went thru a lot of texture aversions here and are out the other end, mostly, but I've got a kid who still won't eat eggs in most forms (too slimy, except for hard-cooked, and then not the yolk b/c it's "powdery") and only just decided to like mushrooms - IF they're portabellas.   The other one used to drink rice milk by the quart but won't touch it now b/c she's aware of the rice suspension in the liquid.

I did find that getting the kids involved in the selection and the preparation of food was helpful. Even if they didn't eat the finished meals, I knew they'd had some tastes of what we were making along the way: a bit of carrot here, maybe a bits of a green bean or a thin slice of cucumber to taste a dip, maybe a small bowl of dip or dressing they ate with a spoon, but since we'd made it I knew what was in it.

Will he eat applesauce? Dead easy to make at home, and he can help.

I got them to try greens by having them pretend they were bunnies. Both of them ate it up (pun intended!). And they were more apt to eat a salad they'd helped prepare, or a sandwich with lettuce in it that they'd done some of the work to make for us.

With Natalie we played the "Don't you eat that!" game, in which she would look at her plate with an expression of distaste and we would coax her to NOT eat it, to not even TRY it. It is a testament to her contrary nature that she fells for it EVERY TIME and she STILL DOES!!! (She's almost FIVE now! )

Keep the snacks healthy, offer them throughout the day, maybe when you're having a snack offer him one or two bites of yours - and make a point of eating things like apples and carrots and maybe beans or meat or other high-quality protein snacks.