15 Mo.Night Co-Sleep--Naps in Swing

[katiekat311]

My son is 15 months old and has been co-sleeping with me ( breastfed to sleep ) at night since he was about 3 months old.  He has always napped by either nursing and then going in his swing or nursing and then just falling asleep by being held.  I am attempting to get him to first nap and then sleep at night in his crib and have been at it for 6 days and nothing seems to work.  I'm feeling pretty defeated and was wondering about WI/WO or PU/PD.

Here's his schedule:

8:15 or 8:30am. - WAKE
9AM - ACTIVITY
10AM-EAT
11:15 or 11:30am - EAT/SLEEP (Nurse then nap in swing)
Anywhere from 1pm-2:30pm - WAKE
2:30pm ( or when awake from nap ) - EAT (nurse)
3pm-6:30pm-ACTIVITY
6:30pm-EAT
7:15pm-ACTIVITY
8:30pm-ACTIVITY ( bath )
9pm-SLEEP ( co-sleep next to Mommy--nurse until asleep )


The past 6 days here was roughly what we tried for sleeping in the crib:

Nurse at usual time before morning nap.  When done nursing ( pops off both breasts & looks around room pointing at things & talking ), placed in crib with curtains drawn with quiet water sounds playing ( sounds he listens to when falls alseep in swing ).  I leave the room until he cries ( anywhere from immediately to 15 min. after me leaving ).  I let him cry 5 min. then go in and rub his back and comfort him w/o picking him up.  Once he's calm, I leave again which usually means him crying again right away.  I let him cry 5 more min. before going in and repeating the above comforting routine.  We repeat the above for about 1 hour before letting him cry 10 min. one time.  1 1/2-2 hours later and I have a screaming crying toddler who is then put in the swing ( sometimes even screaming once in swing ) before falling asleep 3-10 min. after being in swing.  I'd like to not have to let him cry if possible.  It's hard for me right now to even let him sit in there and cry for 5 minutes, so any loving advice would be greatly appreciated!  Am I doing ANYTHING right???  (I know bedtime needs to be moved to maybe 8pm but I don't tend to like to go to bed myself at 8 so that's why it's 9pm for now).  I'm hoping to do an earlier bedtime when he will nap in the crib--then we'll try night time sleeping in it as well.  Thanks for any advice! 

[anna*]

WIWO is really for babies who already know how to get themselves to sleep independently, and PUPD is for younger babies, so I would try Gradual Withdrawal. There is a link about it here: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

You're going to need to expect some crying though! BW is NOT a no cry method, especially with toddlers. Even Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers acknowledges that there is going to be crying involved when you ask a toddler to change the way they do things! We should acknowledge here that there is no harm per se in crying. It is not harmful or damaging to them. The damage comes if they are left to cry alone with no reassurance or guidance to how to calm down.

Re his routine, he has a VERY short awake time (3hrs) before his nap and then a very long awake time (6.5hrs) after his nap. I would push his nap time later so that it is a bit more balanced. He may prefer a shorter morning A time but 6.5hrs is just too long at this age, so perhaps 4.5:5.5 would work for you.

[Peek-a-boo]

I totally agree with Anna.

I read this post this afternoon and was trying to think of what I'd do in your shoes.  I think I'd do night and nap sleep at the same time so that it's consistent and not confusing.  I think I'd start at a bed time as your LO will have a higher sleep drive and more likely to accept a new way of doing things.  I'd do a gradual withdrawal process--I'd probably set up a bed for myself on the floor next to the crib and plan on sleeping there for a few weeks--staying there the whole night, every 2-3 nights moving closer to the door, until in the doorway and then out into the hallway.  I'd do the same thing for naps.

[katiekat311]

Well I changed bed time to 8pm and now he seems to fall asleep within 15-30 min. of getting into bed.  Still nurses to sleep though.  Also I am keeping him up 4-4.5 hrs. in the morning until nap time now.  I'm not sure how he's taking to that yet.  We've been doing both of these changes for about a week now and the longest nap he's taken now is 1 hour.  He used to ( before trying to get him to sleep in the crib ) nap in the swing for 2-3 hours.  I'm not sure why he's only napping 40 min. to an hour now.  Two days ago we waved "bye bye" to the swing and put it away.  Yesterday I laid a "bed" out next to his crib and we laid on that for nap time.  He didn't want to sleep on it at first to I put him in his crib--he cried about 10 min--I took him out and then he nursed a little and pretty much fell asleep right away on the floor next to the crib.  I thought if we started napping ( and eventually sleeping ) next to the crib maybe he'd get familiar with sleeping in his room at least.  I think I'll try letting him play in the crib during the day a little so he's not so scared of it too.  I did just make some crib bumpers and attached them to the crib so it should be a little more cozy for him too.  Any more advice on the crib transition would be SO appreciated!  I do practice AP so I'm really trying to stay away from long periods of leaving him alone to cry...

[Peek-a-boo]

I definitely would advise you to use gradual withdrawal--which means although there will be crying--it will be never be alone; you'll be there to reassure him.  Check out the link that Anna posted. 

One idea for the crib--try playing peek-a-boo with him in there.  First use a blanket and be right at the crib side; then pop out the door and right back.  Try to get him to play with toys etc, in there while you put away laundry, etc, in his room. 

I'm sure it will take his body a while to adjust to sleeping without the motion to get a longer nap.  He may also need to be awake even slightly longer than that (5.5 ish hours?) to be tired enough to take a full nap. 

[katiekat311]

Thanks for the tips.  Anyone have any advice on how to get him to fall asleep without a breast in his mouth?  Since we've been cosleeping he nurses to sleep as we lay down and then most of the time I'm able to pop him off the breast after he falls asleep.  He may root around for it again a little but if he's had enough milk he usually will roll over and sleep.  I know I can't lay nex to him in the crib to nurse him completely to sleep so unless I nurse him to sleep and then pick him up and place him in the crib without him waking I don't know how he's going to adjust to falling asleep without the breast ( and soothing himself back to sleep when he wakes at night ).  Any suggestions or anything that has worked for you would be greatly appreciated again!

[Peek-a-boo]

There are some ideas here for a gradual removal plan:  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0

[anna*]

Not a BW technique but I also found this resource for changing nurse to sleep habits:
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html