2yr hate changes and sleeping in big bed

[NoonieP]

I purchased a "big boy bed" for LO a few months ago. It's a toddler bed so all his sheets are going to be the same ones he's used to. My problem is he is not happy with changes. He seemed happy to go to bed in it the first night but quietly sobbed until I noticed. I decided we would work on the bed slowly. I moved his crib to another wall. (very close to where it "normally" sits) Woke up sobbing that he didn't like it.  So I put the room back to the way it was.

I have gotten him to nap in the toddler bed but it takes forever. He lays in it nicely, and then chats and goofs off for an hour. I'll go back in, tell him to get back in bed and go to sleep. He does without hesitation and I will sit there until he falls asleep (about 10-20 minutes) Then when he wakes up, he won't get out of bed or his room until I come to get him.

Am I being a softy about moving the crib?  Should I just close my ears and let him cry himself back to sleep?  I'm a bit of a pushover when it comes to sleeping. We still have regular wakeups during the week but he's back to sleep quickly and it doesn't really bother me (I actually cherish the together time)

He's getting too long for me to put in the crib, and I would like to get pregnant again and will be needing the crib eventually. He doesn't try to climb out, in fact I think he would be content to stay in there forever. Never cries to get out after his naps.

Suggestions on how to get him to sleep in a moved crib or evern his big bed without tears?

[becky1969]

Truthfully? I think I'd wait a bit longer.  Since you're not even pregnant yet, there's no *real* rush.  I know lots of moms who did the transition by just having the BBB in the same room as the crib for 6 months to a year.  Especially for children who are resistant to change, this helps a lot.

Then what you do in the meantime is you *really* talk the BBB up! You talk about how it means he's growing up, and all the cool things that big boys get to do -- ride a trike, eat ice cream cones, play with balls -- things that a baby could NEVER do.  That really makes an impression on the little toddler mind! They really want to be 'big', so when you talk excitedly about the new big kid things they're going to do, it really helps!

I think if you take some of the pressure off to move into the bed right away, he may surprise you and actually ask for the BBB on his own within a few weeks time.  If he doesn't after 3 months or so, then you can make your own deadline in your mind, and when you get within a couple of weeks of that deadline, then you can start really talking it up again.

At this age you can use a Reward Chart to motivate him to stay in the bed as asked.  Stickers are great rewards for toddlers, and then I typically encourage moms to offer a BIG prize after 2-3 stickers -- something like a matchbox car or other trinket you get at the Dollar Store.


But if he's quietly crying himself to sleep, that's very sad! He's just not ready for the change.  And since there's really no pressure to make the change, I wouldn't push him into it.  I'd gently help him to see why it's such a great thing for him! Since his sheets are all staying the same, I think I might go out and buy a special stuffed animal to be his friend in the BBB, or buy something else new and fun -- a cool night light, a special book that only Big Boys can read, etc.Like I said, make him see why it's in his interest to change. 


We moved our son at 3.5.  We really waited until he was ready and it went super easy.  I have a Touchy kid who also has Sensory Processing Disorder, so believe me change is DEFINITELY the enemy over here! My kid goes crazy if we even move something in the living room, LOL!  But we just talked up the change, and really stressed all the cool things that a big boy can do.  You might also make sure to see if your son is scared of something about the BBB.  For instance, my son really was scared of changing and I eventually got it out of him that he was super afraid of a regular twin bed b/c it was so high up to him and he was afraid to fall out.  So we started him out in a toddler bed, which is low to the ground.  Once he saw how small it was he was excited about the change.  See if you can't figure out if there's something else going on with your kid that may be scaring him or worrying him.


Good luck!

[momtonb&ab]

But if he's quietly crying himself to sleep, that's very sad! He's just not ready for the change.  And since there's really no pressure to make the change, I wouldn't push him into it.  I'd gently help him to see why it's such a great thing for him!

this sounds like really great advice for you - perhaps he isn't ready.  i would say too that you should just talk up how great the big boy bed is and maybe over time encourage an afternoon nap in it (where you could start by staying with him to help him get to sleep and working on him getting himself to sleep) and then later try the nights.  if there isn't a need, i wouldn't break his heart and yours with the bbb. 

huge hugs!

[NoonieP]

Thanks for the advice but the Big Boy talk doesn't work (at least not yet) we tried it with potty training and he refused to go into the bathroom. When I stopped and just asked him to go potty, success. I think he's worried that if he's a big boy, I will no longer need/want him. Where he gets those feelings/thoughts I have no idea.

Anyway, I took the side of his crib off and put a rolled up towel under the sheet (found this trick on another post) he was thrilled with it and had no problems at nap time. At bed time I asked if he's like his side rail on and he said no. I tucked him in and left. I went back 10 minutes later to put him back in his bed and he was still excited about sleeping in it. (he was peeking under the door at the cats)

I awoke at 3am to a crying but when went in there, he was laying on the floor pretend crying. (he is a little drama sometimes) When I walked in he jumped up, giggled and dove into his bed. I offered to put the side on his crib and he said no. So I rubbed his back and he was out. He woke up this morning in such a good mood.

Eventually I'll switch the crib with the small bed but I will be waiting a while.


Thanks for the advice and I hope tonight goes as smoothly.

[becky1969]

My son worries about growing up too.  Sensitive little guys, aren't they!

We've had LOTS of talks about how I will ALWAYS be his mommy.  I talk about how Grandma is MY mommy, and he sees us visiting together, me asking for advice, and my mom loving/hugging me.  Plus we verbalize those things -- I STILL need my mama even though I'm all growed up!

If the BB thing scares him off, you can instead talk about all the great things he can do with mommy and daddy as he grows up! He can go for walks/hikes with them, he can help them around the house, etc. etc.

I hope the rail thing works!  And some jumping out of bed is to be expected at first, but I would nip it in the bud quickly by saying it is not allowed.  You can use a reward chart to reward positive behavior, and as much as possible ignore negative behavior.

[NoonieP]

I don't think we'll be going back to the crib rail, I was awoken this morning by a little boy climbing in my bed, wearing the biggest grin, lol. He's also going potty when I tell him to, apparently this growing up business isn't so bad.