Hello
My little boy is 3 months old adjusted (he's 4.5 months but was 1.5 month early). Before about 2 weeks ago, we had been on a really great EASY routine and it was going swimmingly. We (my husband and I) would watch for his sleepy cues, swaddle him, hold him upright while we shush patted him for about 3 minutes, he'd get drowsy, we'd lay him down and then *literally* he'd be asleep in about 2 minutes and with the exception of him a few times waking up about 10 minutes later for a couple minutes, he'd wake back up in 2 hours. So great!!
However,...
My mother was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease recently so I've had to go to the hospital a lot over the past couple of weeks for her and I have to take him along with me. This has *completely* messed up his poor little routine and thrown him for a loop. I try to help him sleep in the car seat when we're out and about with hit and miss success. Even when he is able to sleep in his car seat, I know that it's still messing him up because it's not creating a habit of falling asleep in his bed.
So now, I've blocked out a couple weeks to try and help him get some semblance of some structure again. I need some advice, though, because he would put himself to sleep basically before and now I'm not sure what to do for him when he's fighting me and crying when it's nap time and when he's waking up 40 minutes into his naps.
This is a typical schedule for us:
Eat - 7:00 am-ish He was born a month and a half early and has only ever eaten for about 10 minutes - his goal in the nicu. He has never really been able to eat longer than that. He is either dead to the world or just stops eating and looks around. 15 minutes is *awesome* Before now, he's always slept the same amount of time as every other baby and he gains weight normally.
Activity - I let him lay on his tummy in a well lit room. We also have some small toys that rattle. Or else I sing him some songs and help him do actions.
Sleep - 7:30-ish He poops out quickly his first activity time of the day. He yawns and slows down after which I swaddle him up and hold him in our room (where his basinet is) with the drapes shut and the fan on until he gets sleepy and then lay him down. He fights me now when I try to hold him quietly. He cries and pulls back and tries to turn his head from one side to the other. I have always held him up against me and tried to block him from looking around by tucking him close to my neck. Now he screams and won't respond to shush patting. I have to turn him around (facing away from me) and let him look around (which doesn't make him drowsy). If I do get him sleepy, he's still crying and pouting through it. Then I put him down and try to shush pat him until he falls asleep or until he's at a drowsy enough state that he would have fallen asleep a month ago. He usually cries here and I have to pick him up and try again. All in all it takes maybe about 30 minutes...? And while I get him ready to fall asleep at 7:30, he will usually fall asleep between 8:00 and 8:15 and then wake up around 9:00-9:15 ish.. From there I have to start his sleep routine over and he will go back to sleep for another hour or so. This is usually another 20-30 process.
And it kind of goes like that all day. The times vary because his sleeping isn't consistent. We put him to sleep between 7:00 and 8:00 and he does very well at night. He still wakes up for a few night feedings (I'm ok with that) but doesn't have a problem sleeping then, really.
So my question is this: How can I get him back to the point where we were? I realize that my hospital visits and taking him with me have altered his little routine. I feel amazingly guilty and I really want to correct it. I'm just not sure why he's crying so much now at nap times (he really *never* used to cry), how I can make the transition smoother for him, how I can teach him to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up and really how to stop him from waking up. Is the shush pat ok for all of this? It doesn't seem to be working on calming him anymore. Do I need to do the pick up/put down? I *really* don't want to. I think it sounds awful, really!! I'm not sure what to do, though.
Any advice? (I realize this is an epistle, lol. I wanted to be thorough!!)
Thanks!
~Jan
Also, I should mention a few other things:
He was teething (a lower canine and a lower middle tooth.) His canine had nearly broken the skin but it seems to have sunk a little. His middle tooth didn't get as close, I don't think, and doesn't seem to be moving as much anymore, either. I don't think either of them are bothering him now, either. He was pulling off of nursing really quickly when they seemed to be bothering him and he was drooling a lot. He doesn't do that right now.
He spits up a lot but is what the dr calls a "happy spitter." He doesn't seem to feel discomfort from any acid.
He was in the NICU for a couple weeks after he was born because he was a month and a half early. (3 months is his age based on his due date.) He has no ongoing medical issues from that.
He is an only child.
I'm a stay at home mom.
For his activity time, I lay him down in bright rooms and play with toys and let him work on rolling over (he can! yay!) so I don't think that he is overstimulated.
At home, I never keep him up longer than an hour without putting him to sleep. If he is up later than that it's because he's having difficulties going to sleep.
He uses a binky. I usually sleep him on his side for easy access to his back to shush pat if he needs help. When he's trying to put himself to sleep (I let him if he's not crying) then he buries his head into his wedge and loses his binky. Then when he comes back up from his burrowing, he gets upset until you put his binky back in. I realize that this is probably bordering on the definition of a prop but I figure that he only soothes himself with his head burrowing and his sucking right now so if I take his binky away, then he definitely can't put himself to sleep. Also, he's on the verge of figuring his hands out and so when he does, I'll swaddle him with one of his hands out so that he can suck on his fist and then I will take away his binky. Also, he's historically been very good about getting drowsy and putting himself to sleep if he's suckling on his binky.
