Lots of changes....tackled it all and now something new.

[nevviemama]

ok, the past few weeks were tough. Several things happened and we couldn't figure out if it was a combo of things or just one. She had constipation issues and given mineral oil by dr. Tantrums started day after taking it, coincidence or it hurt her tummy or she turned 2.5? Also moved her crib (before I realized what was coming, otherwise I wouldn't have done something new) into the office and started painting the 'princess' room. First night ok, then bedtime troubles started and she climbed out of the crib. So had to switch to toddler bed with no real transition. For about 2 weeks, tantrums day and night, not herself, us exhausted.

Again it's hard to tell what's at work here; she's getting used to the new bed and I took her off the mineral oil and tantrums are better and she's a happy girl again. Before all this, she slept approx 7-7 with 45 min - 1.5 hr naps. She is still napping (skips occasionally) but now falling asleep around 9 after being put down between 7:30-8. At times she calls out but last few nights she just chats/babbles/flips pages in her books. She also dawdles quite a bit where before bedtime routine was 15 min tops and pretty much complete quiet after being put down. She's been waking around 7:30 and there have been a few nights where she has a nw's.

It's always been a bit difficult with naps, and I'd rather her skip nap and go to bed earlier, 9 seems late for a toddler! Should I try dropping the nap? How would I transition to this - not put her down every other day? She goes to daycare 3 days a week and naps there, should I try no nap on days at home? Any input is appreciated.

[babybarr]

Does she have a fairly set nap time or is she in daycare or anything?  I expect all the changes which have happened recently won't have helped anything either!  But they have to get used to change don't they?! Lol!

Laura

[nevviemama]

Yes, I mentioned daycare 3 days/wk. She goes down around 12:30 there but at home I usually put her down around closer to 1 and nowadays it's a loooong production and all of a sudden she needs to poo and pee 10 times (and actually does) and then she may or may not sleep but just reads or sings. I almost feel that all these other things coincided with a growth spurt as her language and appetite both increased as well. So now that we're on the other side of crazy, sleep has changed, and seeing a pattern of falling asleep around 9pm despite being in bed an hour before makes me think I need to adjust something; that's it's not just an anomaly of all the issues. Or maybe I need to wait longer and see if things will go back? Her total sleep before was around 13.5, so now it's more like 12 total.

[babybarr]

Ok, have you tried dropping bt back a bit?  I expect with the late nights she's got a little OT - say to 7.15/30pm?

PS your LO is VERY cute btw.

[nevviemama]

I'm now trying for a 12 hr day but bedtime is still a bit of a moving target. She's waking at different times; today at 8, yesterday around 7:45, day before just after 6! Then with so much dawdling I've been starting earlier too to account for it, but we're not quite there yet. Today I actually got it right, started bedtime at 7:20 and she was in bed, potty twice, story, song, light out by about 7:50, and there is absolute silence. Only quiet time for the last few days, with a short 30 min nap at daycare on Friday. She's coping quite well, slight crankiness around suppertime but very manageable. Had a nw last night. But she's doing quite well with her quiet time; I set the timer for about 45 minutes and she sits and reads quietly, sometimes while watching a show.

And thanks babybarr for the compliment - she looks so different now - she was so little then! Should post a more recent pic...

[babybarr]

Did she nap differently on those days you mentioned? I know with someone else I helped they got EWs with a nap so found the nap had to go.

[nevviemama]

I can't remember about naps with the early wake, but it's apparent that naps are affecting her ability to fall asleep at night. 2 days ago she fell asleep during quiet time; because she woke early (and I don't think she napped the day before) around 6:30, I didn't resist because I figured she needed it. Figured on days that a nap does happen, bedtime pushed by the length of the nap. So bedtime became 7:30. but she didn't fall asleep until close to 9. Yesterday she napped 45 min at daycare, same bedtime issues.

It's funny that even though we push bedtime by nap length, it's not working. Seems like 9ish is the magic bedtime regardless of nap length or when we actually put her down to bed. But today for ex there was no nap; woke at 7:30 and was in bed at 7:30 and there is silence, with only one extra potty run before going down.

My question then - some days naps will happen. On those days should I still put her down at 'adjusted bedtime' accounting for the nap, or because I know it's not working, let her go to bed closer to 9 where it seems that she's naturally drifting off? Seems like a struggle to put her down and have all of us frustrated with her not being ready.

[babybarr]

If she naps - keep it to 20mins tops, give that a whirl.  I would also try and not let her nap and maybe do an even earlier bt - nearer 7pm.

[nevviemama]

Well she had a 15 min nap today at daycare. She was up at 7:30 so we adjusted by 15 min but then she dawdled and now it's 8:30 and hubby is now upstairs with her for the 2nd time. I almost feel she's OT. I just don't know what to do - nap/ no nap, what time bedtime should be, etc etc. Bigger issue is that hubby does things differently and he's not as strict, so even though I tell him we have to be consistent, it's not entirely. very frustrating.

[babybarr]

If she has a 15/20min nap I wouldn't adjust bt just keep it same time each day.  If she doesn't nap do an even earlier bt - maybe keep the day to 11.5hrs?

Let me know what happens today

[nevviemama]

babybarr, I saw your post and sympathize as your household is unsettled too! Last night was not great. After the 2nd time he went, she kept calling. I told him to keep it short and tell her goodnight through the monitor. She escalated until she was screaming/crying. Finally she called for potty (the one thing we don't deny as she had issues and is training, but she knows it brings us). I went up and did a fast potty with no talking/eye contact and straight to bed. She settled and fell asleep, this is after 9pm. Then 2 nw's screaming that she had to pee, then up at 6 with the same, and then wanting me to lie with her. I was able to settle her and leave but I'm not sure if she slept; hubby was up around 6:30 - 6:45 and she got up.

Today we are going to daycare only around lunch due to some schedule hiccups, but then that means no nap and so she's going to be severely tired by the pm. I'm going to have to do an early bt, like 6- 6:30. It's so terrible - we have to experiment to find the best solution but that means inconsistency to some degree. I think the babywhisperer technique says to stick with one thing for a few weeks, but if I do no nap for a few weeks she may just adjust to it rather than it being the best thing for her. Maybe I should try earlier nap first (which means changing what I'm doing, again) to see if it does anything before taking nap away entirely.

[babybarr]

Ok - today is out of your hands, daycare and all, do very early bed of 6pm.  See what happens tonight.  It is a catch 22 cos if they have a bad night they want to nap and then not go to bed etc etc.  If she has an ok night then I would do no nap again and early bed.  I'm going to find that other thread I mentioned previously...

[babybarr]

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=166042.0

Have a read... basically Rachel ends up dropping the nap with her LO and clearly it is going well as she hasn't logged in here since 14th April!!

[nevviemama]

thanks so much for the ongoing 'ear'! Tonight she was tucked in and lights out by 6:20, a miracle as we only got home from daycare at 5:30 and still had to have supper! Got pizza on the way home so dinner was ready as soon as we got through the door
There was quiet for about 15-20 min then she started to talk/sing. That was another 15 min or so. Then she cranked a bit and cried but she didn't call out and it eventually fizzed. I think she was asleep by about 7:15. Here's hoping for the best! Going to take your advice for tomorrow and try to do early quiet time/nap.

[babybarr]

Good luck and keep me posted.