Transition from crib to toddler bed and new room

[saubia]

My son is about to turn 21 months in a few days and i just discovered he is able to climb out of his crib. I had no idea till i put it him down for a nap and left the room and 2 mins later he walked out of the room and came running to me. *shocked*. So I'm thinking I should finally move him into a toddler bed since his mattress is on the lowest possible level and also because for the last month or so I noticed that his crib is becoming too small and he keeps hitting the sides.
My son had been sleeping in his room for the longest time till he was about 15 months old but then we got new neighbors who played music at all hours of the day and night and there was no fix so we moved him into our room, in his crib, so that he wouldn't wake up every time the music came on. In hindsight maybe I should've found another solution to the problem and not moved him because now I know I'm going to have a tough time moving him back.
But i thought I may get some advice from people about how to deal with the transition of not only moving him into his old room but also into a toddler bed. Oh and to add to my worries, my son who was sleeping very well on his own (I'd lay him down after a down time and he'd fall asleep without me in the room) is now requiring that I stay there in his sight till he falls asleep. Not sure how this started but again I find that I get sucked into these mistakes very easily.
if anyone has any advice about how to tackle this whole situation I'd love to get some help. I'm not sure if I should just move him into the room and put him in the toddler bed and do a gradual withdrawal method, or maybe move the crib into his room and try the wi/wo method and eventually do the toddler bed thing. Super confused...

[Emma-Rose's mom]

Well we moved because I was PG and was about to pop, and our old place wasn't big enough. So DD at 21 months actually had a new house, a new room, a new toddler bed (crib had to go to new baby), and a new baby brother, all at the same time. 
I started with putting her into our bed just for play.  I would take her into our bed when she first woke in the morning to cuddle under the covers in our PJs, or randomly at different times during the day, we cuddled and read books in mommy's bed. Then, we made a BIG deal about her getting a big girl's bed. We went shopping together and she picked out her bedding. She was so excited that when the bed got here, we had all the pieces layed out in her room, since it wasn't assembled yet. She couldn't wait for us to put it together. She watched while daddy assembled her bed, and as soon as it was ready, we made her bed, cuddled and read books on her bed. That night, did the same bedtime routine as usual.
As for your falling asleep situation, are we on parallel universe? Mine does the same. I usually sing to her as part of her night-time wind-down ritual. So, I started to sing to her when I layed her down in her bed with lights out. Then after two songs, I wait about a minute, and I walk out before she is completely asleep. HTH.

[saubia]

thanks for your reply. Our stories do sound quite similar
My son's actually always been really good about sleeping in a bed. I started putting him on a mattress on a floor (just in case the toddler bed thing didn't work I thought let me try the mattress thing) and he's actually been completely fine sleeping on it. Didn't have any issues falling asleep. The only thing is that he now wakes up about 3 times at night and starts crying for me. I'm trying to follow the same sleep routine where I hold him for a few minutes and then lay him down and let him fall asleep but he really starts screaming if I leave the room. So I'm trying to move further and further away when I lay him down and hoping that maybe in about a week I can try leaving the room, but for now it just turns into a complete crying session. In the middle of the night I have to do the same thing. I go in, tell him everything's ok, if it's really bad I hold him for a second and then lay him down and then sit some distance away till he falls asleep. But like i said it happens about 3 times everyday.
Do you think I'm doing the right thing or should I just start leaving him when he's half asleep. I don't want him to start running out of the room and the good thing right now is when he wakes up, he just sits on the bed and calls me.

[Emma-Rose's mom]

I do think you need to leave him before he falls asleep. Otherwise you are fast becoming a prop for sleep, and I was there, and it's so much harder to break. DD used to sleep w/o me in the room but since we moved, it's been different and she is now dependent on my presence for sleep.

How is your DS with the idea of "time?" I often tell DD when she's playing, "You have 5 more minutes before we have to clean-up" or "two more minutes before we leave" that sort of thing.

I've started to do the same for wake-ups and sleep routine. I stay with her and started to tell her, "mommy will stay with you for 5 minutes, then I'm going to sleep in mommy's room." It was important for me to tell her I was leaving, otherwise if I "snuck-out" of the room, and she woke up w/o me there, she would really flip out and start crying. Right now, I'm working on reducing the time from 5 minutes, to 4 minutes, etc. Also, you might have to do wi/wo with DS. I have to stick to my guns and if I say 5 minutes, I leave after 5 minutes and then do wi/wo. Of course, it takes much longer than 5 minutes by the time I've done wi/wo a gazzillion times and she figures out that she won't "win".  But she also knows that I'm there for her.  But, consistency is the key.