Help! How do I prevent AP again now that she's sleep trained?!

[beckygatt]

I've been posting on this board very recently about sleep training my 14 month old with GW, and we were also moving onto 1 nap.

Well things were going great; she was either STTN or waking very briefly and sleeping again. I had even got to the point that I could sometimes leave the room when she was still awake! N :(aps are improving too; she has A times of 4.5hrs and yesterday she napped 2hrs 20mins! Then last night we had a horrible night again In the evening we went to some friends who have 2 boys - rather boisterous boys, especially the older one who is 2yrs. My DD is a very calm quiet little textbook baby and this boy was running around throwing things and screaming loudly! She isn't used to noise. We came home and put her straight to bed. She settled right away but then had a number of NW. She woke up crying and the first couple of times settled back easily but then at about 3am she cried and cried. It was a really upset, desperate cry and she was reaching out for me which she hasn't done in a while. I ended up having to pick her up to comfort her and after putting her backk a couple of times she settled (she may have slept in my arms I'm not sure!). She woke again at 6.15 and again wouldn't settle. I ended up bringing her into bed on DH's insistence as we all needed at least one more hour of sleep :-/


Could this have haappened because of being with this boy? There is a chance it was teeth but I don't think so. And more importantly, what can I do when this sort of  thing happens to prevent bad habits again? I'm terrified of AP! She's doing so well!!

Thanks

[Khalam's Mama]

Being around this boy have OS her or unsettled her if she felt bullied at all. It may be good to have a wd period to process it like talking about how noisey he was etc.
You are right it will not do you any favours to start aping esp bringing her into your bed. Tell DH you got one more hr that day but how many will you miss if you have to start all over again with the training? Saying that, it was just one night so don't beat yourself up. I would make sure you are super consistent today and from now. By all means comfort her if she is very upset but try to at least keep her in her bed and stay with her until she is asleep if she seems to need it every once in a while. Make sure you use your words lots so she is comforted by them without needing to be held too much.
When DS is teething I will offer more comforting than normal because we all need it a little when ill/upset but straight back to being consistent once that is over. There will always be setbacks like this.

[beckygatt]

Thanks for your reply. So if she is really upset e.g. when teething should I pick her up or insist she stays in her bed? Normally once I put her down to sleep I don't pick her up but stay in the room and talk to her if she cries. Don't know what to do if there is something really bothering her though :-/

[*Liz*]

That is a tough one really. I have found with J that they regress or get little NWing habits very quickly at this age as they understand cause and effect.

That said sometimes they do need comfort and that can include being heldon't know what prop you have weaned to get independent sleep though.

If J wakes screaming with teeth I give him meds and let him lie on the bed next to me until he is settled and starting to fall back asleep. As soon as he is I tell him it is time to go back to his cot and I put him back in still awake but calm and sleepy again. If he protests this then I keep him in the cot for the rest of it after that (I use WIWO but whatever works is the right thing to do).

I think the main key is knowing when to stop - when J has been really ill I have found that it doesn't matter what AP I use as he really needed it. I have to be careful with teeth else the issue will remain once the teething settles - so I try and stop as soon as I can.

If something is really bothering I would work out a little routine that will work for the 2 of you and stick to that. But I wouldn't cosleep if that has been an issue in the past as it isn't really fair on your LO to change the rules like that.

[beckygatt]

We used GW because she used to fall asleep in my arms or with me touching her and she used to co-sleep half way through the night, so definitely don't want to go back to co-sleeping because as you say it isn't fair on her.