Help with EASY for our 3 month little guy...

[NatashaB]

Hey There

Is there anywhere you can see that we can tweak our schedule to help our little guy get more feeds in the day and sleep better at night?

6:30am wake
7am feed
8am-9:30/10am nap
11am feed
11:30am-1pm nap
2pm feed
2:30-4:30pm nap
5:15pm feed
6-6:30pm nap (sometimes not)
7pm feed (sometimes not)
8pm bedtime
10:30pm dream feed if not enough food in the day
2/3am feed
4am NW
5am NW
6:30am wake

He usually feeds 4oz during the day and by the time bedtime comes he has not had enough food to sustain through the night.  He is not interested in feeding when he wakes and usually, by the time he is tired he accepts feeds more so and then goes down for his nap.  He is taking breast milk through a bottle as his reflux and my fast let down are not a good combination for him.

Thank you
Natasha

[Jiinx]

Bump

[Yazzie]

Hey there

Why not implement the DF regardless of whether he's had good feeds or now?..also are the NWs always @ the same time or do they vary?

[~ Vik ~]

Hi Natasha

It is very, very normal for a 3mo old ebf lo to still need night feeds.  Breastmilk is so easy to digest that ebf babies often need night feeds for longer than formula fed babies (although, tbh, even formula fed babies often still need a night feed at 3mo old!)  I agree with Yazzie that I would implement the dreamfeed consistently - just like another feed in your EASY routine, and offer it every night to see if that makes an impact.  But really, I wouldn't worry about that other nightfeed as it's perfectly normal.  See http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=98183.0 for more info

The challenge that I see are those other nws at 4 and 5am.  What is he like when he wakes?  Crying/fussing/mantra/etc?  Could there be other reasons for the wakings?  Discomfort (from gas or reflux?)/too cold or hot/etc?  I also noticed that he wakes up at 630am, but doesn't go down for bedtime until 8pm.  Tracy recommends a 12h day/night routine, so If he's up at 630 you'd aim for a 630/7pm bedtime.  I wonder if a build up of OT might be causing some of your problems?  What do you think?

[NatashaB]

Hi

I am totally good with nigh feeding him so as long as it is needed.  The night wakings with no feed are what's driving me nuts.  He wakes at 11:30pm/12am occassionally for a feed, on his own. But I will start implementing the dream feed definitely.  He wakes at 2/3am for a feed, especially when his last feed was at 6:30pm/7pm.  Then he is down and up again every hour after that just for short wakings but he does not settle.  I've tried to ignore and let him resettle but it doesn't work.  There is usually a bowel movement or gas at that time.  He is fussy and grunting or moaning.  If I let him be there is a cry...like "come get me."   He wakes somewhere around 6/6:30am...and I'm usually not sure how long he was asleep before that as I am exhausted and dosed off for a bit. 

His catnap/bedtime hour is a little wonky as well.  He takes a nap around 6 and wakes in a half hour only to resettle at 8pm.  He was taking 6/6:30pm as his bedtime a few weeks ago but this changed suddenly.  Perhaps there is the 3 month growth spurt happening right now as even his early morning naps are shortened right now and he is OT and not interested in eating much??  As I've mentioned earlier, he bottle feeds my pumped milk due to over active let down and gulping/gassy feeds from me. 

As I'm typing this I feel like such a mess of a mom right now.  I've been back and forth on this website since he was born and here I am still at 3 months and I haven't seen much improvement.  Everything was so much smoother with my daughter, who is now 30 months...and I guess my expectations are too high at times??  Sometimes he's best just dragging along with my toddlers schedule and out and about in the car seat...but that just seems so unfair and disorganized for him.

Anyway,
Thanks again
Natasha

[Yazzie]

Please don't feel bad, it takes times & babies are all different, everyone with a completely different personality ...I only discovered BW when ds was 3.5 months old & it took us almost 4 months for things to get better, it has been such a bumpy ride with my little guy..!

So, I think the DF would help, also it's possible that he can't handle much A time towards the end of the day, goes to sleep OT & hence the NWs?...maybe put him down 1 hr after his CN and see how things go?

[NatashaB]

Thank you for the support.  I tried the dream feed last night and it went quite well.  Less fuss in the middle night hours!  He is 3 months on June 1st and I feel he is so out of sorts right now. 2 weeks ago he was napping well, now it's back to short naps and not much interest in food until he is really wanting it.  Strange?

We were at a function this evening and he didn't nap much during the day, hence he was OT at the function and couldn't settle to sleep in my arms, didn't want to drink...just a mess.  It's those kind of moments that make me feel lost and unable to help my little guy and it feels terrible as his mom.

I'll try putting him down earlier for bed and see what happens.
Thank you again,
Natasha

[Yazzie]

He still is very young, so just give yourselves sometime, no way you could be a terrible mum..!...Just look @ how concerned you are with getting your little guy to a smooth start & the effort you're putting into ensuring he gets the rest he need, yes it doesn't always work, but you're doing your very best

Could you post your routine for today & let's see what's happening?

[Alison_3]

You mention your LO has reflux...is he on any meds?  If so, does it seem to be under control?  Reflux can really make night time sleeping difficult.   Is his crib elevated?  Are you keeping him upright after a feed?  My DD is 9 months old and still wakes for a feed at night.   Do you feed him when he wakes at 4 or 5?   Some refluxers also want smaller, more frequent feeds.  Sorry for all the questions...just want to be able to help you and your little guy!   

If his reflux isn't under control, maybe that is why he isn't able to feed enough during the day.  (feeds= pain for a lot of refluxers)

You're doing a great job!  Having a 3 month old isn't easy, especially with reflux and a toddler running around! 

Check out the reflux board as there are many mums there to help you! 
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=13.0

[NatashaB]

He is on meds and I'm not really noticing much of a difference with the fuss?Everything is elevated and he eats best from the bottle on a incline on a wedge or something of the sort.

I don't feed him at the 4/5am waking...never seems to want it.  He is usually grunting and uncomfortable at that time and in an hour a bowel movement is always passed.  He's a bigger baby. Do you think constant growth has anything to do with the fuss?

He breast feeds from me only when 1/2 asleep and unlike the EASY routine, he will only feed properly from a bottle when he is tired and ready for sleep.

So different than my daughter...feel like a new mom all over again!
Thanks for the feedback
Natasha