please help, exhausted...2 nights in a row awake from midnight until gone 3am

[Spandanna]

Hi all

I'm soooo exhausted and this is not helped by being 14 weeks pregnant so together with being an emotional wreck i can't take any more of these NW.

It has been gradually building up for a few weeks starting with nap refusal then EW then bedtime refusal aswell and now to put the cherry on the cake stupidly long NW...I really hope and pray someone can help because I can't do another night like the last 2.

Sunday night:
bed at 5.45 (had been at daycare and only napped 1hr all day 11.55-12.45)
awake 9.30, 10pm (settled with some shushing and back/tummy rubbing)
Awake at midnight wired and really upset. My husband and I took it in shifts to stay with him. he was calm enough when rubbing his back/holding his hand/standing by cot but wouldn't let us sit down on floor
Finally settled at 3.30am
Awake for the day at 6.20 

Monday night was similar
bed at 6.30
awake midnight-3.am (exactly the same antics)
up for the day at 5am!!!

Today we got him down for a nap in the buggy and transferred him to cot at 8am -10am
then another nap at 1.15-2.15pm in the car

We've given up the battle for now at naptimes in the cot it's more important he make up for the poor nights' sleep i think...is that right?

I don't know what to do, we're held hostage in his room and I don't know what's gone wrong he used to go to sleep independently and sleep 11hrs through the night. Sure we had phases of EW and the odd NW where we could give him a cuddle and he'd resettle but even as a newborn we've never had anything as bad as this

Pleaaaasssseeee does anyone have any advice?

[squeakersmum]

Hiya,

How old is LO?

We have been going through something very similar and have had to use a modified GW.  Our worst was up from 11.30pm to 3.30am so I feel your pain and sympathise!

[Spandanna]

Hey

It's so awful isn't it! I could handle him being up 9-1 or even 10-2 but 11.30-3.30 then up at 5 for the day is just torture!! I have to admit I'm a bit relieved to hear I'm not alone (although sorry for you to have to also go through it IYKWIM?!)

My Lo turned 1 two weeks ago. TBH it pretty much started around then too...maybe he just got too much attention and has turned into a bit of a prima donna! lolhe just shouts and shouts and the minute I go into his room and holdhis hand he stops and starts playing in his cot it's so frustrating. If I so much as look at the door he gets edgy and starts whining

We actually resorted to a modified CC at bedtime this evening out of sheer desparation. I guess it was more like WIWO except we did leave it longer each time but only by like a minute and we stayed right outside. It did work and he was asleep in less than 1hr which is the best we've had even with pupud, WIWO and staying in the room with him. It wasn't easy though that's for sure and I know CC is not advocated here so I'll leave it at that.

How old is your LO squeakersmum? How long have the NW been going on?

[squeakersmum]

He's just turned 19 months - but seems to go through this pattern every few months.  REALLY annoyingly, it doesn't seem to be related to anything in particular.  This time it's particularly bad and has been going on for about 4 weeks now.

How are you dealing with the mega early mornings?  We have resorted to *Anna*'s trick of calling out to him that it's not time to get up and that we're here but not going in because that just makes the whole thing sooooo much worse!  It's not a nice way to start the day though with him moaning and crying.

I hate the NW too - he used to be so good at going back down that I think I had a false sense of security - when he was up for hours for those few days I resorted to literally creeping out of his room so as not to wake him again.  No joke, it took me 25 minutes to get from the side of his cot to outside his door one night (but he did stay asleep thank goodness!).

I think with your technique - the important thing is that he knows that you are there even though you are not in the room with him.  I don't know if Ben would have understood at just over 1 but something I have resorted to now is telling him that I'm just going to the bathroom and that I'll check whether he's asleep in a few minutes.  He hears me go into the bathroom (where I read a book for a few minutes...I'm thinking of putting a chair in there!) and then I come out and peek through his door.  Doesn't always work, but I feel it's progress...of sorts!

Hope tonight goes without incident for you!

Steph XXX

[Spandanna]

4 weeks!!!!! That is so tough I think I'd be having a total meltdown, you must be exhausted! I like the idea of calling out to him in the mornings, at this very moment I think I can accept EW if i don't have 3-4 hours of being up in the night...I'd settle for it in fact...but prior to the night wakings I would try desperately to get him back to sleep by rocking him, giving a bottle shush/pat ANYTHING...and 99% of the time would fail and give up and ge thim up 

Last night was a bit better he still woke at the magic time of midnight but we didn't rush to him and within 3-4 mins his cries were dying down so we thought we'd give it 5 more minutes and all went quiet and he dropped off again. the same then happened at 3am then 4am too (both times we decided to leave him for 10mins max and both times he was aslepp within about 7-8mins!) He was up at 5.15am for the day though but I think we made real progress in the night just because he's learnt we're not going to come running and be held hostage in his room whilst he plays around in his cot!!!

Still have no idea how to deal with the EW though and who knows what tonight will bring!

[squeakersmum]

Hmm - we were up at 5.20 this morning.  For some reason it's just got to me today and I'm a real grump!!

Glad you weren't up for so long in the night!

[Spandanna]

Oh no!! Keep smiling Hun. It's surely got to pass soon??!! At least that's the thread of hope I'm clinging onto. Although I was thinking about it today and it's been months since we had anything later than 6.30. We used to moan about him getting up at 6 but now I'd gladly take a time that doesn't include a 5 at the beginning!

Has anyone else on here been able to suggest anything useful for you to try?