Why is she doing this????

[sensfan]

Hello all! DD is 11 weeks old now, and has started confusing the heck out of me with her night wakings. She's had weight gain issues, so I've continued tanking her up in the evening, mostly just to sneak an extra feed in. At first when we were doing this, she wasn't falling asleep until almost 10:00, so I did the DF by midnight. When I did this, she often slept until 5 am.

I wasn't happy with the late bedtime and how fussy she would be going down, so I moved the tank-ups closer together and now she goes to bed at 8:30, usually asleep by 9:00. I was doing the DF around 11:30 (BF first, then topped up with 2 oz of formula...I've had to supplement in order for her to gain any weight). MUCH happier baby going to bed, and still sleeping until 4:30 most of the time.

At 9 weeks, I decided that it was silly to do breast and bottle at the DF when I'd given DS a bottle at DF time from about 3 weeks in. So we started giving her a bottle for DF, with DH giving it and me pumping to make up for it. This is when the craziness started...she's waking up earlier!!! I don't get it, it doesn't make any sense to me that she would go from sleeping 5 hours a lot of nights, to barely sleeping 4! DH has been doing DF between 11:30 and 12:00, and she's waking up at 3:30-3:45! Am I missing something obvious here? This is driving me crazy, plus I can't help wistfully thinking about how DS was giving me a 6 hour stretch after the DF by this age. Plus, when she wakes up this early she never goes more than 3 hours until the next feed, so it throws our whole day out of whack!

Please offer any insights you have. I didn't think she'd be STTN by now, but I also didn't think she'd be sleeping less!

[zebstiredmum]

Hi Jen

Is she having formula or bottle of expressed milk?  and is she finishing the bottle?  Sorry if obvious question, but have you tried giving her more in her bottle?  Also if it's expressed milk it is digested quicker, so if she isn't getting the formula top up that'd make a difference.

If it's all formula in the bottle anyway and she's finishing it maybe she's having a growth spurt?

Hugs to you.  It won't be forever!  My DS went less and less time at night as he got older, and it was more habit than hunger, in spite of never feeding to sleep, rarely using props etc.  At 20 weeks I used PUPD which he responded to and has more or less been STTN since then, but what works for one won't necessarily work for another.  Good luck :-)

[sensfan]

I'm giving formula, sometimes mixed with a little bit of EBM. We put 4 oz in the bottle, and she usually finishes most, but not all of it. I thought it may be a growth spurt at first, but this has been happening for over a week! I don't remember it ever going that long with DS.

Thanks for the hugs I keep telling myself it won't be forever, but it sure feels that way right now. What makes it even more annoying is that I've contemplated trying to settle her and see if she can last a little longer, but I'm terrified of waking up DS. Last thing I need is him feeling like a bear on top of me!

[zebstiredmum]

Has it coincided with moving tanking her up closer together?  I had to stop trying to tank my son up, as I think that contributed to him waking more frequently, and I've read other posts where this has happened - I think with some they get used to the closer together feeds and taking little and often, or maybe it disturbs their sleep patterns.

[sensfan]

I guess I was afraid moving the DF earlier would have her wake even earlier. Not the case?

Here's what an average day looks like right now (leaving out A for simplicity, they average 1 hour 15 min to 1.5 hours):

E: 7:30 BF and top up with formula
S: 8:45-9:00
E: 10:30 BF and top up with formula
S: 11:45-12:00
E: 1:30 BF
S: 2:45-3:00
E: 4:30 BF
S: 5:45-6:00 catnap (sleeps anywhere up to 30 min., she fights this one and takes longer to go down)
E: 6:45 tank up #1 BF
E: 8:00 tank up #2 BF then top up with formula
S: by 8:30
DF at 11:45-12:00

In general she'll nap at least 1 hr 15 min., sometimes longer if she went down quickly. She does 45-50 min naps also sometimes. My plan (in my head) right now is to keep tanking up until she's 3 months, then try to go E- 4:30 and 7:30 with earlier bedtime, possibly topping off another feed during the day if needed.

Thoughts?

[sensfan]

Do you mean wind down at bedtime or for all her naps? At bedtime I take her up at about 7:45, she listens to a story with DH and her brother. Then I change her diaper, swaddle her, and give her the last feed. If she's dozy at this point I put her down, if not I hold her up and pat/shush for a few minutes before putting her down.

As much as I'd love to EBF, it's just not happening. She's had weight gain issues from the beginning, I've been seeing an LC at our public health unit since she was a month old. If I don't give formula (I tried sticking to EBM) she doesn't gain weight. LONG story with all the ups and downs, but right now I'm on domperidone and hoping to go with both as long as I can. I may try to wean from the supplements again, but last time I tried it didn't go well.

[sensfan]

Wind down for naps: pretty similar. If there are no yawns by 1 hr 15 awake time I take her upstairs, change her diaper, sing songs/read stories, swaddle and put her down. She goes for naps (except the catnap) pretty easily. I used to have to pat/shush quite a bit out of the crib, but now I can just put her down, shield her eyes and quietly shush until she drops off. She sleeps during the day in her crib, and at night in a bassinet in our bedroom. Neither room is blacked out, hasn't seemed to bother her for naps, and at bedtime our room is fairly dark. No white noise, I used to play soft music on her aquarium like I did with DS, but it jut seemed to wind her up so I stopped.

[sensfan]

She does use a soother, but only when she's awake and only some of the time. She never goes down with it.

Earlier bedtime slightly impossible with trying to sneak the extra feed in, but I plan to try changing that when she hits 3 months in another week and and a bit if her weight gain stays good. No more tanking up, feed and bed by 7:30. We'll definitely try the earlier DF for now. Does that need to be another bit by bit change, or just go ahead and do it? We did feed at 11:30 last night, and she slept until 4:00.