Please, in need of help and encouragement.

[ericapt]

I'm writing this post as I'm sitting her crying.  I am at my whits end as to what to do for my baby.  I am so frustrated and totally discouraged right now.  I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  My LO is 5 weeks old and naps are totally frustrating me.  I've learned that she can only tolerate being awake for about 45-60 minutes total, so our wind down routine starts 30-40 minutes after she wakes.  Of course, this is a huge challenge because she takes quite a while to breastfeed, plus she has reflux so she really needs to be in an upright position for 10-20 minutes after her feeding.  (Any suggestions on how to achieve this would be appreciated.)  This is where my problem begins.  Some naps/days I can swaddle her and rock her until she's asleep and it only takes about 10 minutes, but about 50% of the time I begin the routine just as any other time and it ends up taking me 1 hour to get her to sleep.  I can't figure out why this is so inconsistent and how to help her get to sleep sooner.  I know that I'm using AP and I should be putting her in bed awake, but at this point I just want her to get sleep so she doesn't get COMPLETELY overtired.  Please help.  I need to figure out how to get my LO to go to sleep without letting her cry it out!  Occasionally I can put her in bed when she's just sleepy, but awake and she will fall asleep, but then she wakes up after a short nap and it isn't time to feed her again.  What do I do then?  When this happens I assume I feed her early (as long as it isn't too early) and then try putting her to sleep again, but by this point she's so OT because her last nap wasn't good and it's difficult to get her to sleep again and then our entire day ends up off the normal schedule.  I am returning to work part-time in 4 weeks and I need her to be on somewhat of a routine for that.  Am I expecting TOO much structure/consistency for her age?  I can't remember when my son was on a pretty good routine, but I know that when I returned to work he was following a good 3 hour EASY.  I am starting to calm myself down just typing this, but would still greatly appreciate other peoples eyes and minds to try and help me out.  DH is home today and trying to help out with a nap right now (he's been trying for an hour).  He thinks that we're missing something since other people can just put their LO's down awake and they fuss a little and go to sleep.  Our daughter just starts crying after a few minutes and this escalates until we help.  I need advice.  I hope there is someone out there that can give me some hope because right now I'm feeling defeated.  (In addition, I have a 2.5 year-old so spending up to an hour several times a day putting the baby to sleep is not very practical.  I feel like I'm neglecting him.)

Desperately awaiting help,

Erica

[anna*]

Can you put her in a sling straight after her BF to keep her upright, and then have her just fall asleep in the sling so you can go about your day/play with DS etc? I really think it's pretty rare for babies to be able to fall asleep independently at such a young age.

[ericapt]

She doesn't sleep very well or for very long in a sling, plus I can't expect my daycare provider to carry her around all day.  How do I get her sleeping in a bed without as much help so that when I return to work in 4 weeks she is getting regular naps?

[anna*]

Well the technique is shush-pat. But, I don't know how many babies are realistically sleeping independently much before they are 3-4 months old. If that is your goal, that is the method to use, but it will probably be very time consuming especially at such a young age.

Tiny babies just are extremely inconsistent, and also they are not alike so she may be quite different from her brother in what she is like with regard to sleep. don't worry about schedule at all - EASY is a routine which is just about the order of the steps. Feeding to sleep is not a disaster at this age, especially if it is not at every nap.

If you are willing to look at other alternatives, the Ss from Happiest Baby on the Block may help for the short term, and you can look at addressing any props which may arise from it if/when they become a problem. They are Swaddle, Suck (give paci), Side or Stomach (have her lying on her side or stomach across your legs while you are getting her to sleep), Swing (have her lie (side or stomach) on your legs, and swing somewhat vigorously from side to side), Shush (loudly, as per shush-pat). Those are his 5 Ss which work really well in the fourth trimester (ie the first 3 months after birth).

[mrsfabmoretti]

Hi ericapt. It does sound like you are being very hard on yourself. LO is only 5 weeks so sounds very young to be self settling. I think my LO was about 3 months before I got him to go down on his own. If it is stressing you out, might it be worth leaving the sleep training, and trying again when baby is a bit older? You will probably be exhausted right now, with a newborn and a toddler to take care of, so it's important to look after yourself. x

[mrsfabmoretti]

P.S. When my LO was younger and couldn't have much A time and having short naps, our days often looked like EASAS.