Almost 4 mo *updated Q* would you let him have a stuffed lovey?

[Peek-a-boo]

DS2 is will be 4 months on 9/5.  He can roll both ways well and the last two nights he's been waking up a lot and each time I go to him he's on his belly.  I've been swaddling him in a miracle blanket and while he can roll into his belly swaddled he can't roll back because of the swaddle.  

I think he's waking then rolling, then mad and stuck because his arms are swaddled, but I'm not sure.  

Does this sound like a safety issue--like I need to wean the swaddle?  

He's still so young and twitchy I'm concerned that on his back he won't sleep well.   However, since he can roll, he'll likely end up on his tummy anyway if unswaddled, but he may like tummy-sleeping and may sleep better that way  b/c he'll be able to get to his fingers.  

But I'm stressed about SIDS.  But I guess there's really no way to force him to stay on his back now that he can roll.

Sorry, I'm rambling.  What's the safest plan in this situation?

[anna*]

I'd wean the swaddle and let him sleep however he chooses.

[~Karen~]

What Anna said.  Once they start rolling over and sleeping on their tummy themselves then let them be, unless you want to be sitting in the room all night rolling them back.  Just take out of swaddle to make it safer though and put in grobag to help them feel secure.

[Rizzo]

When my DS was about 6.5months, he started to roll onto his tummy in bed. He is still really jerky with his arms, and finds it difficult to settle. He now has the ability to roll from his tummy/side/back quite easily. He sleeps in a ergo cocoon, so he has quite a lot of movement in his arms, so does tummy time quite well in the cot!!

I was worried at first too, but it seems he has enough movement in his arms for it to work for him. Anyway, this is just my experience.

Good luck!!

[fireredjewel]

my lo did the same thing - all of a sudden, she just wanted to turn onto her side to fall asleep. She was, by this point, half weaned from swaddle (which she decided to do herself). I was terrified of her sleeping on her side, and kept trying to turn her back... so we just let her have her way. And to this day, she will not fall asleep in her cot (in her grobag) unless it's on her left side. Just go with it! :-)

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

I'm with the others - wean swaddle to grobag and let him be.

[Meditrina]

I know with my son I tried to wean the swaddle a few times, but he just could not handle it so I continued to swaddle and used a sleep positioner to keep him from rolling.  He also like the positioner since it kinda "held him" and I think it made him feel safe.  He finally outgrew the swaddle when he was 10 months, long after crawling, rolling, sitting and even crusing around the furniture!

If he can handle weaning the swaddle then go for it, but if he can't then there are ways to work with it 

[elmarie]

Hi B 
I want to agree with pp's.  I will let him sleep the way he wants to.  I was also obsessed with SIDS but at the end of the day you cannot watch them all the time, and has gets stronger and more mobile he will start doing no matter how hard you try not to 

[Peek-a-boo]

Took the plunge last night, put him down unswaddled in a sleep sakc.  It wasn't worse, but it wasn't better, but I know this is a transition that will take some time.  He's cruising around the crib like a fish out of water.  I want to give him a lovey, but I'm scared to do that too.  DD has one similar to this one, that she loves:  http://www.whatshebuys.com/bun-w210712.html

Would you give a 4 month old something like this to sleep with?  If not, is there a style of lovey that you would give?

[anna*]

I gave Stan a lovely at 4.5 months, we were weaning the dummy and swaddle at the same time. A little stuffed dummy about 7" tall from head to toe (ears extra )

If it's being sold as suitable for babies under 12 months, you can be pretty confident it is very safe. I am sure it is the same in the US, but in the UK they have to go follow really stringent safety measures to be able to market toys for little babies.

[Peek-a-boo]

If it's being sold as suitable for babies under 12 months, you can be pretty confident it is very safe. I am sure it is the same in the US, but in the UK they have to go follow really stringent safety measures to be able to market toys for little babies.

Yes, it doesn't have any eyes or nose that could pop off and choke, it's just back to those SIDs guidelines.  Our doctor when DS1 was a baby was super cautious about SIDS and told us we absolutely should not put anything in the crib with him until he was 1--no lovey of any kind.  I can't seem to get that out of my head.   All stuffed toys sold here for babies say not to put them in the crib and not to leave child unattended with them.

We had a smaller blanket buddy like I posted on hand, but it had a rattle in its head that I thought would be counter-productive to sleep.  DH just removed the rattle and I let DS2 go down for nap with it.  Not sure if it helped or not, but he's sleeping.  

Ahhhhh . . . . . .  I hate the guilt attached to these decisions because of the SIDS stuff.  

[anna*]

It comes down to what you can cope with hun. If your anxiety is going to be worse letting him a lovey than dealing with helping him sleep, then you definitely shouldn't let him have it. For me, I looked at what I could find about other SIDS factors, found that none of them applied to us, and so decided that for all of our health we needed sleep. I think the SIDS guidelines about back sleeping only actually apply until they can roll, at which point they become moot as nobody suggests you should sit up with your baby rolling them back to their back each time they roll over.

(((((hugs))))) anxiety is the worst. How about one of those Angelcare movement monitors, would one of those reassure you a little bit?

[Mashi]

Bethany I don't want to suggest that the toy (or any other stuffed lovey) is in any way unsuitable or potentially dangerous or anything like that so don't take this that I am suggesting that at all. But, I was much like you and was extremely worried and cautious about everything SIDS related...we gave DS a lovey sometime shortly after 6 months and I *think* I took it from him after he'd fallen asleep if I remember correctly, until he was about 8/9 months or so and was not just rolling, but totally mobile, crawling around his cot.

My DS also wanted to roll from about 4 months and was in the miracle blanket, but would get stuck on his tummy. He NEEDED the swaddle though - we tried a few times without and had like 30 minutes of sleep all night. He could not do it - even at 6 months when we tried again it wasn't happening. It was a slow gradual process to get rid of the miracle blanket finally at 8/9 months (when he was allowed to keep his lovey).

We did what Meditrina did - kept him in the Miracle Blanket and used sleep positioners to keep him from rolling. He slept even better that way than just in the swaddle. I'm all for letting him sleep how he wants to sleep and all that, but at the same time, I am also a bit overly cautious and tend to take the attitude of "just cause you can doesn't mean you're allowed to!" even when it came to what position he wanted to sleep in.  In some ways I do think it's not "right" (ie/ to prevent him from sleeping how he wants to) but it was what worked for us AND kept me comfortable and content with his safety (after all, I need to be able to get a good sleep too!). If he'd had an issue with the sleep positioner and not liked it I would have had to re-think it I guess!

[Peek-a-boo]

Thanks ladies for holding my hand through this.  

For me, I looked at what I could find about other SIDS factors, found that none of them applied to us, and so decided that for all of our health we needed sleep.

Anna--The logical part of my brain feels this way too.  He was full term; we don't smoke; we run a fan in his room, etc.  I'm actually not especially worried that he will die of SIDS.  My concern is this . . . if he were to die from SIDS (which I don't anticipate happening, but then, who does?) and I let him have a lovey, sleep on his tummy, etc, then I know that I will blame myself and feel like I killed him.  This probably sounds insane . . .

DD was slightly older when we let her sleep on her tummy (4.5 months) and older still when we let her have a lovey (I think 5.5 months), and he's still got a week to go before being 4 months.  I feel like I'm splitting hairs . . .

Ugh.

[anna*]

Anna--The logical part of my brain feels this way too.  He was full term; we don't smoke; we run a fan in his room, etc.  I'm actually not especially worried that he will die of SIDS.  My concern is this . . . if he were to die from SIDS (which I don't anticipate happening, but then, who does?) and I let him have a lovey, sleep on his tummy, etc, then I know that I will blame myself and feel like I killed him.  This probably sounds insane . . .

It doesn't sound insane. It sounds like being a mother.