2 year old EWs, need ideas!!

[smahalik]

Glad to say I haven't had to post here for a while:)  DS has had sleep issues on and off since birth, including mostly short naps and early wakings.  Luckily have never had too many problems with NWs.  So this is what's happening now:  I started back to work when he was ~20 months old (he's 24 now) and he was sleeping ~11.5 hours at night (7:00-6:30) and about 1.5-2 hours for a nap (around 12:30, I think).  Worked great for our schedule for the first week or two!  THEN he started waking earlier and earlier.  It's been 4 months now and he's waking around 4:30 or so every morning (*yawn*).  His daycare provider says he usually naps around 2 hours starting at around 12:00.  Sometimes its only 1.5, but sometimes 3 hours.  When he first started waking earlier, we thought it was teething, as we could see the teeth coming in.  I don't think he's teething anymore, though.  Also, when he wakes now, he fusses for "mama and dada", where he didn't do that before.  When he first started this, we would bring him into our bed thinking he would go back to sleep since he'd only had ~10 hours, but he always wants to be up and playing with us and acts perfectly happy to be up.  Here are my ideas as to what is happening:

• Naps during the week aren't working for his nighttime sleep.  Does he need to nap later in the day?
• Separation anxiety.  I think he misses being home with me since going back to work.  As soon as he wakes, he cries for mama and dada, which he never used to do.  AND, he naps terribly on the weekends (45 mins-1.5 hrs) because I think he wants to be up with us.
• Habit waking since teething.  Although I've tried earlier (6 pm) and later (7 pm) bedtimes and he almost always wakes after 10 hours.

I read a lot of other posts and am going to try a few things, like getting him a duvet and pillow.  But was just hoping someone else might have an idea or two!!  SOOOOO tired, thanks:)

Sarah

[clazzat]

I think the first issue is likely to be OT - perhaps the nap is too early in the day, perhaps it is because daycare is too stimulating, but it seems like something has thrown him off and now that he is waking so early and refusing to nap, OT will definitely be a problem.

Now I know this wouldn't work for my 2-yo, but it might have worked for dd1 if she was waking early, so have you tried 2 naps?  Maybe just 15-20 mins in the morning and then nap 2 slightly later in the day?  Like I said, I know I wouldn't be able to get dd2 to do this, so it might be a pointless suggestion.

I think that you might have to tackle the EWs with wiwo - if he is waking habitually after 10h, it seems like he needs to be 'reset' so that his expectation is that if he wakes at that point he goes back to sleep.  We solved my dd2's EWs with a light on a timer (he's definitely old enough to understand the concept) - she used to wake between 5 and 5.30 and now she wakes sometime between 6 and 6.30 but we don't hear her until after 6.30 when the light comes on.  It took about 3 days for her to get the idea - those days we just went in and explained that it was still sleeping time and she had to wait for the light - and after that she would point at the light every morning when I went to get her up.

I also think that teeth could still be a part of it (unless you know they have all come through) - they take ages to come through and can cause havoc all the while.  Have you noticed any difference if you give meds before nap and bedtime?

Finally, I would resist the temptation to let him sleep more than 2h during the day to catch up - no matter how tired he is, a long nap is just going to mess with his nighttime sleep.  It will take a few days, but he will catch up his sleep if he gets back on a consistent routine where he is getting the right amount of sleep in 24h.

[smahalik]

Thanks so much for the response!!!  Maybe I explained something incorrectly.  He isn't refusing to nap.  He takes great naps at daycare during the week (usually ~2 hours), but just takes shorter ones on the weekend (we think because he wants to be up with us) even though we keep him on the same schedule as when he's at daycare.  In regards to 2 naps, sometimes if he's in his stroller or in the car around 9:30 AM or so, he'll fall asleep on his own.  We never let him sleep for more than 15-20 minutes, but then it's still really hard to get him down for the 2nd nap because he just doesn't seem tired. 
I totally agree on trying to "reset" him!  That's exactly the word I use when explaining to DH what I think we need to do.  I've been able to do this in the past by changing his bedtime or naps, but it's just not working this time!
I thought he was too young to understand the clock light, but maybe you're right and I need to give it a try. 
We have tried to give him medicine (Motrin) as much as twice a day (morning and before bed) and that doesn't seem to make a difference, although you're right that he could still be teething.  But right now he's pretty happy during the day, so I just can't imagine that if it's teething that it's really causing that much of a sleep disturbance. 
I think I'll talk to his daycare provider and ask her not to let him sleep more than 2 hours.  Maybe that will help in addition to getting the clock light! 

[clazzat]

Teething is causing sleep disturbance for my dd2 without much indication that it is bothering her during the day - so it could be a problem even if he is quite happy.

I would give the light on a timer a go - you might find that everything else falls into place a bit better if he is not waking so early.  And it will be easier for you!

[smahalik]

That is true!!  I just get so tired of always trying to guess what's going on!!:(  I just ordered the clock/light and will try it out.  He's also going on vacation with DH this weekend for 5 days to visit family and I'm hoping maybe that will shake up the routine a little and might get him out of this rut.  If not, we're going to try changing up his naps.  Then maybe a little WIWO to see if that helps.  Thanks again for the tips, hopefully something will work.  I'm SOO tired of being so tired!!!

[clazzat]

Fingers crossed for you - let me know how you get on.