Want to start sleep training :)

[paulak412]

Hi guys!!  I am a single mum with a 3.4 yr old son who has always co sleeped with me.  He needs me to be there for him to drop off and remain sleeping.  He also uses a dummy and has a blanket.  I really want to get him sleeping by himself, I am letting him stay in the room we have always used in the ed we always use so it is less of an adjustment.  Here is are daily routine

wake up - 7.45 am
breakfast/brush teeth/ preschool uniform
9am - School (gets break and lunch in school at 10 and 11.30-12, he hates preschool and spends must of the time crying)
1.30pm Hometime (change clothes take about day)
1.45pm - 3pm - playing with friends in the garden
3pm - Dinner
3.30-5.30pm playing in house with me/family/friends
5.30pm supper (something light like toast and banana)
6pm bath
6.30pm pj's story time
7pm lights out (usually drops of within 20 mins top and has to be cuddled into to drop off,  he keeps saying hug me)

We both fidget an awful lot so we keep waking each other, if he wakes and I am not their he cries hard but when i come back in beside him he is out within minutes.

I would like to try the Gradual withdraw method.  Could people give me hints and tips including dealing with him waking throughout the night and how long this process usually lasts.  He has never had sleep training unfortunetly

[Tweakster]

Hi there, I don't really have any tips for that age but I am offering some hugs and reading a long for support :-)  I am sure there are mums who have had to do something similar.  Is there a reason he hates his preschool?  Did he just start or how long has he been going?  What are they doing to help support his transition?

[~*Nicole*~]

I don't know about his age, but do know that working on sleep with my 2 year old is MUCH harder than when she was younger. Moving to a BGB was the biggest issue we've had recently and we're still working on it.

At his age though, as much as it will likely be hard and also likely take a long time....he may respond to being a part of the process. Talking about it for maybe a few days to a week before you do it. Talk about him being older now and b/c he's so big he keeps you awake at night. Talk about how you both need better sleep. Remind him he'll be going to sleep by himself on such and such night but that you'll be there to make sure he's okay...just not IN bed with him. Take him to pick out a special toy or blanket or something to sleep with. Use a nightlight in his room if he wants. Then keep talking it up before the actual night.

Basically you will need to sit next to him in a chair or something and let him drift off with you there but not in bed beside him. Once he's doing that successfully for a few nights...you move further and further away. You can use a reassuring sleep phrase at each stage if he's getting upset so that later you have that same phrase and can just use your voice to calm him from the doorway for example. But try to not talk to him and stick to only that phrase and very intermittently. Keep your voice low, calm, and almost boring. Every few days that he is succesful at drifting off you can move further away until you are out the door.

If he's really struggling and you think he'd respond well you could use a reward chart. You can draw up a chart and give him stickers each night he goes to sleep well on his own. Then he can earn something bigger after maybe 3 nights of earning stickers.


Hopefully some other moms will have more to add! Best of luck!