NW's back with avengence

[confusedmummy]

I am here for help and advice again, I feel like such a failure as a mummy as I can't figure out what I am doing wrong, everything I do seems to be wrong

My DS is 14 months old. For the last four nights he has woken up screaming. The first night he seemed to have had a nightmare, he screamed straight away and when I went in he just clung to me and would not let go. I picked him up and comforted him till he calmed down, but when I tried to put him back into bed he just started crying again, like he was scared. After a long while my partner took him downstairs at around 5am and he stayed awake till 7.30am before going back to sleep for a couple of hours. Since then every night he has woken up, he starts off by crying and if I don't go in straight away then he screams.

I am now thinking that this is now a bit of a habit. I really don't know what to do. We went through hell with sleep training a little while ago, and his NW's stopped as he learned to fall asleep by himself, but now he screams, I cannot leave him, but me going in seems to make it worse. The only way I can get him back to sleep is to give him a cuddle then lay him down and read him a book in bed, as I would when I put him to bed, then he lets me leave the room, otherwise he cries when I try to leave.

He is absolutley shattered during the day and spends most of it whining and wanting to cuddle or to lay down. I feel like I can't comfort my own son as it will create problems in the future, but I can't bear to see and hear him in the state he has been.

He may be teething, although his cheeks are not red, but I give him meds before bed anyway and put teething oil on. I try to give him them when he wakes up but he will not take it at all at night, it makes him worse if I try.

I really hope someone can help, thank you

Hazel x

[skipper11]

I don't have a whole lot of advice other than it may be teething, in which case, I always just do whatever my LO needs during that time.  Fortnuately, we've been really lucky that when her teeth stop bothering her so much she goes right back to her normal sleep.

But, a couple of weeks ago, my LO was acting very similarly.  (She's 13 months.)  She was super clingy and did not want me to put her in her crib.  Then she would let me put her in her crib, but would scream if I left the room, and cry until I picked her back up.  I was bewildered.  Fortunately for us, this only went on one night -- and then the next day one of her canines came through.  I don't know what teeth your LO has yet, but I've heard those teeth bother some babies for weeks!  Best of luck.

[confusedmummy]

Thank you, He slept through last night but did wake just before 6am and would not go back to sleep. I am still giving the meds and putting the teething oil on. My LO is very cheeky and would probably not go back to old routine straight away as if he knows he can get something he wants by screaming he will. Fingers crossed i'm totally wrong and he is just like your LO.

I just hope the EW's and NW's stop soon esp as the clocks go back on unday, h will be up even earlier

Hazel x

[babybarr]

My first thought was teeth too, but can you post your routine too please? 

[confusedmummy]

His routine is pretty much like this:

6am- Wake
9.30/10.00- Nap Usually for 45 mins
2/2.30pm- Nap usually about an hour can be 1.5hrs
7.30pm bed

When he wakes up he is grumpy, clingy and weepy for the first 10-20 mins I think because he is so tired. He cries every time he wakes up, he never wakes and just talks happily to himself.

Today he had three naps as we went out in the car this morning so he woke at 6am and then slept for about 30 mins at 9.30 then on the way home he slept for another 30 mins at 12.30. Then he went for an hours sleep at 3pm.

I don't know how to stop the EW's as he used to just cry a little and if he was still tired would stop if I didn't rush straight in, but now his cries are more louder and urgent in the morning and he will not just go back to sleep. This morning I brought him into my bed and he clearly wanted to go back to sleep as he was laying his head down, but he just couldn't seem to get comfortable and then would sit up and cry again.

We went through a few weeks of sleep training to get him to go to sleep on his own, ad in the last couple of weeks he has been put to bed and will just lay there without crying till he falls asleep, tonight however he cried for at least 20 mins and when I went in to lay him down he clung to me so tightly. I am really am at a loss of what is wrong. I just don't know what to do for the best I really don't want it to revert back to the way it was with him needing me in the room to go to sleep, but if he is poorly or teething then I want to be able to be there for him.
 

[babybarr]

I think you should try giving meds 30mins before bed and as soon as he wakes in the night and see if it helps.  If it does not I am wondering whether you need to start cutting that am nap and getting a long pm nap - getting ready to go to 1!

[confusedmummy]

This morning he woke as usual at 6am and didn't cry as loud as he usually would so I left him for a bit and he actually went back to sleep. Then woke at 7.30 so that was really good, and when he woke he just talked to himself and played with his teddies for a while. Unfortunatly he only had one hour nap at 10.30 as we went out and he wouldn't sleep in the car. He cried again when put to bed so I don't think tonight and the morning will go aswell.

I have been giving the meds 30 mins before bed and have tried when he wakes at night but he just won't have it.

I wasn't sure what sort of age he should be to go to one nap, but maybe now is the time to go for it. What is the best way to do it, shorten first nap by 10 mins each day? Or leave a longer gap between making shorter? What should the ideal length of the one nap be?

Sorry for all the questions x

[babybarr]

It def sounds like the moving to one nap is an option now.  I'd cut the first nap to 30mins and then do the second nap about 2.5-3hrs after - you'll have to watch him.