Gradual withdrawal...what do I do next?

[nicolduster]

I am seeking some advice i have been having to do gradual withdrawal since before christmas with my 13 month old as she sufferered a perforated ear drum and ended up spending a couple of wks in our bed.  prior to this she always went to bed no problem on her own.

The process I followed looked like this....

A couple of nights lying next to her in her cot until she went to sleep and I stayed sleeping on floor

Holding her hand through cot until she went to sleep

Moving to bottom of her cot for a couple of nights until she went off

Finally sitting near door.....however I have been at the door for over 11 nights staying until she drops off and dont know what to do next?  Every time i attempt to leave she is hysterical....she is also waking two and three times a night and sometimes I am in there for nearly an hour sitting on floor until she goes back...I am starting to feel tired especially as I got to work! Anyy advice appreciated!!!

[koe2moe]

Hi there!!!  It does seem like you're making progress.  Have you tried WI/WO?  Once she starts getting hysterical, go back to her and reassure her that you'll be there whenever she needs and then walk out and wait outside to listen to her cry.  Once she escalates, go back in right away to repeat the process.  If you're feeling tired, just sleep next to her cot for the work nights at least and then work at it on the weekend with support from your DP/DH or others.  It's tough with so little sleep!!!  big hugssss

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Big hugs!  Just another perspective from how we do it.  We sit there and progressively move towards the door every time he's quiet.  When he cries out, we say our sleep phrase "It's time for sleep."  We repeat that over and over if he's yelling.  Then when he's quiet we scoot towards the door again.  He doesn't have to be asleep for us to move, just calm.  Eventually we get to the door and when he's quiet we scoot out.  I usually sit next to the door in the hallway with the door cracked and talk to him through the door for a few more minutes until he's definitely calm and then close the door.  Sometimes I do have to back track or go in and lay him down if he's really upset, but this usually work well.  It also means we don't get 'stuck' as you're experiencing since we're always moving towards the door.  At the start it could take an hour to get out of there but nowadays when we need to do it it just takes a few minutes usually.

HTH!