Please help with 11 week old evening routine

[KMET]

We are having trouble with my 11 week old DD's evening routine. She has been on EASY essentially since she was born, and is exclusively BF. Our daytime schedule looks like this:
E - 7:30
A - until around 8:30
S - until 10:30 - often needing help to extend nap
E - 10:30
A - until around 11:45
S - anywhere between 45 minutes to 1.5 hrs with help to extend
E - 13:30
A - until around 14: 45
S - again between 45-1.5 hrs
E - 16:30
Then things get a little troubled - as my DS (3yrs) gets home and the house had much more activity so her naps are very short (35 minutes). Usually I feed her again around 19:00 and have been trying to get her into some sort of bedtime routine - but nothing has been working very well. If I miss her window, the night quickly disintegrates and she will not sleep until 23:30. The problem is that I dont' really know when her window is! She also is able to put herself to sleep during the day, but really has trouble with this at bedtime. Does anyone have suggestions for bedtime routines? As well, she was swaddled until recently but is really starting to fight it - she wakes trying to break out, but doesn't want to be awake. I have just recently started giving her her arms during her daytime naps, but still swaddle her at night. I was thinking that this might also be contributing to her short naps during the day.
Thanks

[kirstym]

I could have wrote this post word for word myself, my DD is now 6 weeks and is doing the EXACT SAME THING!!!!!!

PLEASE CAN ANYONT HELP US BOTH WITH THIS???

[zukki]

don't know if it's any help but this is what we do and have done from day one pretty much. It works for us and he sleeps approx 730-730. He's 12 weeks old by the way. Now our days are completely all over the place but regardless of how the day goes this is the evening (he's bottlefed don't know if that makes a difference):

4pm E&A till about 5/530 then he'll nap for 30 mins (really needs this nap to get through to bedtime)
6pmish take off his trousers and put him on activity mat in front of the fire for a kick about. singing and playing on the couch
630 bath for about 15 mnins (loves this - we try to do it as many nights as we can cos I think he sees it as one of the signs for bed)
645 out of bath, dried and changed into babygro/pyjamas - also into sleeping bag - we've been using these for the past few weeks and find it really helps him distinguish night from day (swaddled for naps during the day)
7pm bottle in his room
720pm story/chat all still in his room with low lights
730pm give him soother and just hold him and he starts to drop off and just put him in cot when nearly gone off.
Most of the time he'll cry within either 5 mins or the next hour maybe a couple of times but just go back into him and put in soother and say night night and he's gone till 7am.

Believe me I am no expert (see any of my many posts about our day time napping structure (or lack thereof!)) but this works for us so hope it might help.

[Katums14]

Hi KMET and kirstym- I don't know if I will be of much help, but I'll try. When my DD was about 7-8 weeks old, she was able to find her fingers/thumb and start soothing herself to help her go to sleep. So I started to unswaddle one arm, and would help her in putting her hand in her mouth. (We stopped using a pacifier because it had become a prop, so we resorted to this). We still use the sleep sack, but now she is 11 weeks and she's been unswaddled since 9w5d, and is able to calm herself better. I was hesitant to stop the swaddling, but it seems to be better now that she is older. Her naps are better too. She just started day care, and that has presented a whole issue in itself, and she's no longer napping during the day...

Also- to help with the nights, we have a simple routine- she does not like baths, so we only do them twice a week. I breastfeed her in the living room next to my husband, which is not "typical" during the day (another sign it's bed time), then we have a few minutes of family time/chatting, then we go into her room (lights low), put her in her sleep sack, pray for/over her, kiss her good night, and lights out. She sometimes talks/fusses a little, but it's her best time, probably because it's the most consistent and she's tired from not sleeping well during the day. Hope this helps... And just make sure you don't keep putting the pacifier in their mouth to make it a prop! (Painful mistake for us...)

[Chicane]

Hi ladies

I think you guys have been giving each other some top advice. I just wanted to provide you with some links that yo might find helpful

First, check the routine samples here
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164253.0

Second here is some info about wind down
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64277.0
It would be fine to experiment with stopping the swaddling. Does she still have the startle reflex? If thats happening less and less then you could try stopping the swaddle or you could try the aussie swaddle here http://www.bugnbelle.com/how_to_swaddle.html
it allows baby to still find their fists to suck on and works for some.

Finally, I am wondering if the 1hr 15 min A time you are doing towards the end of the day is too long. The average and most common A time is still 1 hour at this age. It could account for her becoming OT and not settling for the evening. The other thing is over stimulation - but if you have a toddler running around there is not much you can do about that and baby will get used to it as she grows.

hope this helps a bit

xo