New Years resolution

[Manueli]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted since last summer cause I was so busy in fall and winter, but I think it is time to come back. And I got a big plan for this new year. I think I have mastered most of the mummy stuff so far, except for one thing, I have completely failed to teach my LO how to sleep at night without needing my breast. But now he is 18 months old and I am 3 months pregnant, so that it is definitely time to stop all those frequent NWs. And I could use some support, well mainly I need somebody who is on me all the time telling me to not give up, cause I am really bad in consistency. And I could use some tips regarding his frequent sicknesses and how to deal with them. But here is my short story (I will try to keep it short):

Basically, he has never slept without feeding all night long. I have always had excuses since I am going to university and was so busy studying all night long that I thought I couldn't afford loosing sleep. Not that I tried. Around 6 months old we tried to extend the in-between nursing stretches to 3 and 4 hours but unsuccessfully. It usually resulted in him being awake most of the night. I also attempted three almost cold turkey weanings in the spring and summer (no-feeding stretches extending to 3hrs, then 4, then 5 etc.), but I never got past one or two feedings at night. When I tried to put him down without feeding after around 6 hrs after bedtime he just wouldn't settle. He did fall asleep but only slept for 5-10 min stretches and then woke up crying again, even though I was beside him patting and singing all the time. I tried for 2 hrs at a time and then gave up. And after around 2-3 days of that I gave up in general with the weaning because he either got sick, was teething or I just had enough. Anyways, in the fall I started again but this time was trying to do GW. I can't do the type where I feed less and less time because he doesn't really respond to it or I always fall asleep with him and don't keep track of the time. So this time I said I will attempt one hour after another. I start with not feeding if he wakes after 1hr after bedtime, then 2, then 3 etc. The problem was that by that time he started to go to daycare and became sick every month or more often and was extremely hard to settle, so that we constantly regressed. I still made it to 4hrs and then we went away over christmas and he got really sick again and since then I haven't done anything anymore.

So that's where we are now. He falls asleep independently (I just got out of the door but am still standing just outside with the door slightly open). I am tempted to start the GW again even though it would take a while, but I am hoping to get over the 6hrs no-feed problem that way. The real problem I have is his getting sick so frequently. He is worse and worse in being settled the more frequent sick he gets, up to the point that I have to take him into bed with me now and feed him tons. Otherwise he would just get really upset and not be calmed in any way. We have tried to settle him otherwise but it just results in all of us getting upset and nobody getting any sleep. He also gets asthma when he gets sick and can't really breeze due to the wheezing, so I don't want to make him cry too much. Does anybody have some tips of how I can deal with that?

Right now I am too chicken- to cold turkey wean, but maybe that is the only way to go so I can wean him while he is healthy and hope that we can somehow make it through the sick period afterwards. Also the spring is coming up soon, so hopefully he will get sick less often.

Oh, and if somebody has some tips regarding the weaning I am more than happy to hear about them. Otherwise I just need somebody to tell me that I can do it and that I just have to be consistent. It sounds so easy, doesn't it? Ah, and I know all this anyways, I am just soooo tired at night and don't function well and have zero patience...

[babybarr]

Bumping your post before it falls off the page

[Manueli]

Thanks Laura,

I also forgot to mention that he started to drink a lot of water from a cup at night and I am a bit skeptical if I didn't just introduce another distraction that will keep him have NWs? But what if he is actually thirsty...

And we share a room together since we live in a one bedroom apartment, so I frequently feed him without noticing while I am pretty much sleep walking. I probably often also respond way too early too his cries, so this doesn't really help our situation. I do have the option of moving onto the coach for a while and we are planning to get a two bedroom apartment in May.

Just wanted to update my info.

[anna*]

Haven't been in that situation, but here for hand-holding. I don't know how you can do it without there being lots of crying though - that's just what happens when you try and get toddlers to change they way they do things! When he's sick you can cuddle him and give him extra comfort - just don't go back to BFing! Sleeping on the couch while you're sleep training sounds like it could be a good idea. Also, I know it's not BW, but you might find some of the info here helpful: http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

[Manueli]

Thanks for the reply Anna,

I know that there will be lots of crying, that's not what I mind. But I am dreading those nights of sitting by his bedside for hours cause he does go to sleep but doesn't stay asleep. He has this habit of waking every 5-10 min and it just exhausts me cause there doesn't seem to be a point at which he just falls asleep and stays asleep. I think what I really have to do is get into the right mood and realize that I will have several nights of no sleep. I have done night shifts before, so this shouldn't be much harder, or? Except that now I can't sleep during the day and it is dark and cold at night...

But again, the major thing is the sicknesses. I try cuddling him, rocking him to sleep, bringing him into my bed, but nothing works. He gets really going and screams for hours. So the only thing I can do to get anybody to sleep is feeding, at least as far as I can see.

[anna*]

Well then if he's really sick, you can feed him and then put him down to sleep awake. The thing is, as you've found, if you go back to frequent feeding, then every time he gets sick you'll have to sleep train all over again. Give plenty of meds so that youknow he is comfortable.

[Manueli]

So Hayden is sick right now so I wont try for this week. Next week will be less busy and hopefully Hayden will be better by then, so I am going to start weaning. I gotta remember I only have 5 months left before the baby comes! Anyways, my plan so far is to start extending his no-feed period every second or third day by one hour. I keep posting how it goes, maybe that will keep me motivated. If everything goes well a 12 hour night should take me a month, I guess I am doing this really slowly.