3 year old waking at least 1x at night

[Jann]

hello,

My lo, he wakes once a night.  He used to ask to have his turtle turned on, (it is on a timer), a nd I would, but this disrupted both our sleep.  so i got him a night light, now he wants water, so i put his water beside his bed.  Now, he asks for a back scratch or to change his pj's or too pee.  Last night i was quite rough with him, so i know i have to find a solution to this one night waking.  He goes to bed perfectly and he wakes at7ish, but he is awake for maybe 15mins during the night, maybe less and sometimes more.  Today, we spoke about it and i asked him to please settle himself since he has a night light, he said ok, but he'll probaly wake up.  do i just do whatever he asks in the night or do i insist he goes back to sleep?  What do i do?  and i don't want to do the reward and punishment thing. there has to be another way.  Does he need reassurance or is he just being a pest?
If i keep doing whatever he wants will it bite me in the butt or should i put an end to it?  he is really demanding in the day, he wants my full attention all the time.  So at night, i want my time off, i think that is what is driving me crazy, he doesn't stop harassing me, that's what it feels like.

help
janick

[anjabibby]

Does your Lo have a nap during the day anymore? My LO is just 3 and we went through an awful time about 6 months ago when she didn't have a nap as she was resisting it and taking forever to fall asleep so we wrongly assumed she didn't need it anymore. Anyway, this resulted in some of her worst NW since she was a baby, up 2-3 times a night, crying, asking to go for a wee falling out of bed (I wonder on purpose sometimes), can't find her teddy...
Anyway, it was getting ridiculous and she was getting more OT so I reinstated the nap - we had a star chart for it..After about a week all NW disappeared, now she sleeps 7.30 - 8 until 7am - with only the very odd waking for nightmares or wanting to wee..

[Jann]

Yes i guess i should have posted on this forum.  He dropped his nap about this time last year.  He started NWs when he started playgroup.  He goes 3x a week and begs and pleads for me not to send him.  He was off for a month at xmas and had great sleep, hardly ever woke.  I am wondering if it has anything to do with that?  He is home sick today and he is glowing that he didn't go to playgroup.  We took the nightlight out last night and are back to using his turtle and he woke last night and fell back asleep.  I will start a star chart and see if that helps. We also just recently stopped him from coming into our bed. 

any ideas what could be going on.  Now he has a cold so I am coping with the 1x a night waking.  He could use a nap but he would be up till 10.  he doesn't even fall asleep in the car.  he sleeps 7-7 most nights.

[anjabibby]

do you ask him about what happens at playgroup? My LO also says she doesn't want to go despite having been there since she was 18 months and I know she enjoys it once she is there. Ask the staff whether there has been something upsetting him and then chat about it before bed, or after you ick him up. You may also find that going to playgroup exhausts him so could do with short nap to allow to process the day?/

[Jann]

I have spoken with the monitors and apparently he has a great time.  He does struggle with dressing himself to go play outside, ski pants, mitts and boots and the monitors expect him to dress himself, i think that stresses him out.  We have been practicing at home, and in a few days he's improved a lot.  When i pick him up i ask how his day went and what he liked the most but i should ask what he doesn't like, that may give me a clue.  They don't nap at playgroup and he does finish at 3pm and he is in bed at 7.  We keep things very low key after playgroup. 

Last night i started the start chart as you mentioned and guess what, he sttn!!!! After 3 stars he gets to go to tim hortons for some timbits, and after 6 stars he can get another small treat and at 9 stars we can pick a toy at toys r us.  he seems really kean on the star chart.

hope that will last
thanks

[anjabibby]

Glad that star chart works - long may it continue..
Anja x