Can't take any more

[DesperateMommy]

Please can someone help.

My four-month old is driving me to the edge. He is my third child.

He is sleeping very poorly during the day and night. Night times at best were 3 hourly feeds (EBF) but have been 1.5-2 hourly recently. He settles very quickly after a short feed most of the time but tends to become more unsettled after about 4am, when he wakes up every 30 mins or so until I just give up trying to sleep about 5.30am.

During the day, he sleeps no more than about 45 minutes at a time (if I am lucky) but very frequently, just 5-10 minutes, before he wakes. Today he has slept no more than two hours during the day (from 5.50-7pm) in 3 broken blocks. He screams for long periods when tired but just will not sleep unless put on breast, and even this sleep doesn't last very long (about 5 minutes after I put him down). So he spends most of the day being very irritable and wanting to be consoled. He cries hysterically if anyone other than myself tries to console him, and this crying can go on for hours unless I am the one who handles him. During the day, he feeds approx hourly- 1.5 hourly too.

He is being treated for reflux, and the treatment has helped him. He doesn't seem in pain when crying.

I am essentially housebound. He refuses to take a bottle (even of expressed milk) or dummy, so I can't really go out anywhere as he can become hysterical. He has basically become completely attached to me and no-one can help. I am so tired and just can't see this getting any better. I have two older children who just get side-lined and see me either very irritable or breaking down in tears. Because of the older two children, I don't have the option of sleeping during the day anyway.

Any advice would be most welcome. Thank you.

[anna*]

(((hugs))) welcome to the baords, we will do our best to help!

It sounds like feeding to sleep has become a prop, so when he goes into a lighter sleep, he can't settle without the breast. I would commit to shush-pat and/or PUPD to teach him independent sleep - when he's able to fall asleep without BFing, his day and night sleep should improve.

Yes it will be hard and yes it will be worse before it is better and yes there will be lots of crying. But he WILL sleep without BFing - but not unless you insist upon it. If you let him cry for an hour and then BF him and let him sleep, all the crying will have been for nothing.

When he feeds so frequently in the day, are you sure he is crying from hunger and not tiredness? The other thing I would do is to try to give a really good full feed first thing in the morning and then resist feeding until at least 3hours. (obviously if he is screaming hungry then he needs to be fed - but if he is screaming because he needs to suck to sleep, he doesn't need feeding, he needs to learn to sleep without BFing).

[DesperateMommy]

Thank you Anna. You are right, I do suspect he is crying because he is tired but nothing I can do seems to settle him until I give up and feed again.

I will give your suggestions a try. Many thanks x

[~*Sugar*~]

    sending big (((((HUGS))))) to you

I also have 3 kids and my littlest is also 4.5 months and is having sleeping issues so i totally understand your situation when you say your tired, housebound and having not enough time for your other children. But the ladies here are wonderful and have some great advice and techniques. My little one is now starting to sleep better. So hang in there, you can do it and it does get better !!!

Hope you get everything worked out soon !!

Christina