What to do with toddler while settling baby for naps?

[smilymel]

I have a 9wk old who is tired, not napping enough (rarely naps except in pushchair, sling or car).  I really want to get her settled into a better routine and napping better during the day and want to give EASY / BW a try.

My questions are:
- what do you do with your toddler while doing wind-down, sshhh/pat and then staying with baby past the 10 and 20 minute jolts? 
- What do you do if you spot the tired signs just at a moment when you're playing with / cooking for / changing nappy for toddler, or if it's also time for his nap?
- what if your awake times need to be quite short so you pretty much feed baby, change nappy and then have to start settling her - when does the toddler fit in?

At the moment both my children seem to be losing out because I can't settle baby to bed, but I don't know how I can do it without abandoning the toddler.

[my3girlsjde]

Hi there and congrats on your new lo

I was there too, trying to juggle naps and loud toddlers and justifying time spent with each and the guilt over not getting things done 'right' with either of them.

I turned on my tv. I know that sounds horrible, but it's a great distraction for them and can keep some of them occupied for 1/2 hour stints. I use it now, as I'm currently working through a sleep issue with my youngest and it prevents my twins from killing each other.

When E is down, we do cuddle time, crafts, stories etc. Now that it's warm out we go outside a lot to let them run around. When the twins used to nap, I would sit in their room with E and try to arrange to be feeding her while they went down so she stayed quiet.

Now that I'm working on a sleep issue with E, they go across the hall in their room with a show on the tv and the stairs gated so they can't go down and I know where they're at. This does mean that we moved a tv into their room , however it is ONLY used when I'm alone and trying to get her to sleep without disruption.

We had a short time where I could get the girls down first, I put on white noise so they didn't get disturbed by me getting E down for her nap. I was able to do this a few times per week but resorted to the tv other times.

Lastly, forgive yourself. Your lo is 9 weeks old, so at this point you're surviving more than anything. Have your toddler cuddle up with you while feeding the baby and if they want, small things like handing a diaper to you can go a long way. If you need to pop the baby in a sling to get more time in with your toddler, then do it.

[smilymel]

Thanks, just found the "And then there were two" section, so will have a read through on there too.

[*Sandra*]

Yes TV!  I used it often at the beginning.  It gets better as the little one gets older but you are in survival mode so do what you need to do.

I use to let my toddler pick stories and I would read to him while BFing my baby during the day.  He loved it because he got the hold the book and help turn the pages and snuggle up right beside me.  I would read to him the whole time I was BFing and during burping. It actually worked really well and I strongly recommend it!