Bed time gone wonky help !!!!!!

[blackwater]

Please help me before i go crazy mad...... my dd is two in three weeks time and we have a 6 week old ds. Before my ds was born we had some hard evenings putting dd to bed but there after getting so frequent now we are at our wits end.. dd wakes at 6;45 to 7;15  has her nap at12;50 to one for 50mins we reduced it down from an hour last week as she always needs a long spell from when she gets up from her nap to going to bed. The thing is we do wind down downstairs and mostly both of us or just me bring her up, she settles fine for the first few minutes then starts calling mammy over and over again lounder and lounder and if you go into her to settle she screams crying when you leave coughing making herself sick. We sit with her talk to her and she thinks its fun and games and if you move to leave at all it starts again. mostly my dh could sit coaxing her for well over an hour  he has the patience i just crack up with the constant of it. We always end up bringing her downstairs and starting over again. I do give her warning bed time in 5mins bedtime in 2 mins and she still cries going. Her bed time is is at 8 tried putting her down at half seven and it backfired. IT seems to be every two or three nights , dd settles for her nap with no trouble takes a while to wake her up and could be a bit waspy for a bit before coming around

One night, a week or two weeks ago she said she didn't like her brother and wanted to go in mammy's bed so i brought her in and she fell asleep first time ever, so we changed things in the morning and she doesn't see her brother in bed if i am feeding him. O one other thing we put our ds in to his cot just before dd goes to bed so she sees him going to bed too...

I know she has had a huge up heaveal , I don't think its teeth no signs at all except some tantrums putting that down to her age, i try to give her as much time on her own when ds asleep or is feeding by reading or playing games. We have plenty of play dates over and go walking loads. 

To night just now my husband has just brought her downstairs after an hour and a half. I so need to get this sorted so i can put her down when dh has to work late and get some normality back before we both crack up……… 
 

[~inbalance~]

Hi there

I think you probably have a combination of things going on here.  First of all of course is the new baby, she is probably going through a phase while she is adapting to the change.  Definitely try to give her as much undivided one on one attention as you can manage, I know it is hard with a new baby.

Does she have all her teeth yet?  2yr molars could be contributing as well.  Also, approaching 2yrs she might be experiencing some developmental changes as well.  Things like leaps in language and comprehension can really affect behaviour and sleep.

Finally, I think she is OT.  I know you said she needs a good run between nap and bed, but I actually think she needs a longer nap.  50mins is quite short for a 2yr old, and she has quite a long day especially if she is up before 7.  I would either give her a longer nap, or try again for an earlier bedtime.

Was she previously an independent sleeper?  When you say she coughs and makes herself sick, does she actually get physically ill?  If this is the case then you will likely need to try more of a gradual withdrawl approach where one of you stays in the room while she falls asleep to begin with, and then gradually decrease the amount of time you stay with her.  Here is a link with more info:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

What do you think?

[blackwater]

Thank you so much for replying... so i increased my dd nap time today by half hour and then woke her up, she was in much better form on waking and going to bed at her regular bedtime was hassle and stress free. We were sitting down drinking tea at just after 8 wow!!!! She still has four teeth to get so maybe that like you mentioned might be cause for her being out of form, she was very off form again this pm even after a longer nap. She was teething a few weeks ago with runny nose and drippling  is there other signs with these molars to look out for ?  Thanks again for pointing things out and your advice,  will see how our night goes fingers crossed.........

[~inbalance~]

Signs often associated with teething are red cheeks, irritability, and maybe loose stools if she is drooling a lot.  It is hard to tell with 2yr molars since they are at the back, but if she cooperates you might be able to have a look or feel around for swollen gums.  It does sound like teeth might be involved.  Glad you had a better night the other night.  It could be that today's nap was just a bit too long.  So hard to find a balance sometimes!