independent sleep with a 11 month old

[belliesmum]

Not sure if I have posted this in the right place. I have three getting to sleep issues at the moment.
1. I need to hold my DD's hands while she goes to sleep.
2. Pretty much every time I put her in the cot, no matter how tired or close to sleep she is, she insists on rolling over onto her tummy, getting up on all fours and then either sitting up or standing up. Sometimes she does this and cries, other times she is not crying. So I put her down, she gets up etc, until I hold her sleeping bag down at her sides so she can't get up. Sometimes she gets really mad at this, so I pick her up for a cuddle, then back down. Other times she decides to just go to sleep. I've also just ignored her, but it seems that she just doesn't know how to lie down and just gets more and more upset, so I pick her up for a cuddle...
3. If I even try to leave the room before she is asleep, she crys hysterically.
So the issues I need to address are getting independent sleep without holding my hands, and going to sleep rather than standing up all night. I'm not sure which one to address first. I have never tried PUPD with her before, but from what I'm reading, I shouldn't pick her up? My biggest problem is that I cannot stand to hear her cry, and she seems to go from sobs to hysteria quite quickly. The longest I have let her cry without picking her up (I am in the room all the time) is about 2 mins. Am I just too soft?

She has been on EASY for a long time. Something like:
up and bottle 7
brekkie 8
nap 10-11ish
lunch 11.45
nap 2-3ish
snack 3
gentle time in pushchair 4.30-5.15
tea 5.15
bath 6
bottle6.30
sleep 6.45-7

Any suggestions as to how I can teach her to go to sleep by herself?

[Tweakster]

HI there, I'm going to pop this over to Toddler sleep since she's on the cusp and her motor skills have really picked up.  It makes sleep training a little more tricky when they are so mobile like that, but it can be done so don't worry.

When she's crying do you feel she's crying out of pain or discomfort or simply that she's not happy about the fact that you aren't holding her to sleep?  Is she teething at the moment? How long has she been on those A times posted up there?

Here's a link to get you started:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

[belliesmum]

Hi Wendy,

Thaks for replying...its a bit scary thinking my baby is nearly a toddler!!

To answer your questions:

I think her crying is purely I dont want to do this. She isn't in pain - she is just not happy to be left alone to go to sleep. The finger holding thing started about 2-3 months ago, when she was ill, and she was the one who instigated it. i was happy to comply, as she seemed to fall asleep peacefully when she had my finger to hold onto, and it only took 10 mins max. (ps, she has rarely done independent sleep; maybe on 2 or 3 occasions, but then I guess I have never given her the chance). I was aware that I was AP; now I'm trying to address this. I have left it to now, as she has had a succession of colds, teeth (top 4 came through a few weeks ago).

I dont think she is proper teething at the moment, but the finger has been in there and getting chewed at times, but then I suppose they are always teething until all the teeth come through.

She has only recently been on these activity times. She has started sleeping better at night (yay)! and I found that I had to put her down for her first nap 30 mins later than usual. Her A time I am using at the moment is 3h in morning, 3.25h afternoon, roughly.

Today we started the sleep training. I put her down at 10, after 3h activity and usual winddown, then sat down in chair next. She protested and stood up, sat down, played with all her toys in the cot, protested a bit more, but I jut had to use my voice to calm her. Eventually after 35 min, she went quiet and slept for 55 min, in the most ridiculous position. For the next nap, i put her down 3.5h later (may have been too late, but i used her cues?). She protested much louder this time, and i had to lie her down once. Then it all went wrong as she banged her head on the cot bars (I dont have bumpers), and I had to pIck her up to console her. After that, as soon as I laid her down, she went really mad (I have never seen her so upset, and she was gasping for breaths at one point), so we ended up back with the finger holding. Bedtime was a lIttle better. Same routine as before, and again, she protested. I had to lie her down once. Calming with my voice wasnt working, so I went over the the cot and put my hand on her chest, at which point the little minx grabbed my finger. I didnt know what to do. If I wrenched the finger away, she got upset, so she ended up falling asleep holding my finger. On the bright side, one finger is an improvement over a finger in each hand!

So mum 1: bellie 2. I hope we have better luck tomorrow, and tonight, if she wakes up.