« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: DS is taking the mick at BT  (Read 2130 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Grants

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 16
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1596
  • Mr 'I know exactly what I want!'
    • Location: UK
DS is taking the mick at BT
« on: August 03, 2011, 19:03:17 pm »
It’s me again. This time is not too serious. Lol I just need some ideas.It is a bit long sorry.

I’m a ’ BT chicken’! DS walks all over me at BT. I know it, he knows it and everybody knows it. I’m pretty firm in other areas and he respects me for that but at BT is another story.  ::)

Either DH or I will stay in DS’s room until he can fall asleep (usually 15 mins). We have decided that this is ok for us until he is a bit older. He is spirited and very persistent. He will not take wi/wo or any other method. Last time DH tried wi/wo it resulted in 1.5 of screaming/crying all the 5 days we persisted with it, plus 10 days of cot panic/anxiety after the 5 days trial (he was dreading BT for 10 days after that  and didn’t want to go in the cot). So after that last bad experience we decided that its Ok to stay in his room. 

It goes like this… we enter the room, after the appropriate wind down, say good bye to the sun (Groclock) and put him in his cot. Whoever is doing it lay on the floor with a blanket and DS lies in his cot with his blanket. It worked for a while for both of us but recently DS started to take the mick out of me. When DH does it he will stay quietly in his cot until he fall asleep and when I do it he will stand up and jump in his cot. When DS stand up in the cot I sit down and tell him that it is time to sleep . He will lie down straight away but as soon as I lay on the floor again he will be up again. The first few nights he did it DH took over and of course there was no problems after I left the room. But 3 days  ago I decided that I needed to stick with it and call DH to back me up. So DH would enter the room and say” M Its time to sleep. Listen to your mommy.” Then DS would answer  “Yes”, DH would leave the room and he would not stand up again and fall asleep a few minutes later. Tonight I was doing BT again and when I put him in the cot he stood up straight away and gave me the proper spirited grin (the one that he knew he was doing something wrong ) and shouted PAPAI (daddy in Portuguese). So it all became a game for him: I stand up, mommy calls daddy ,then daddy comes in and tell me off and then I go to sleep. But today he changed it and he called daddy on my behalf. Needless to say that I was not impressed! So I came downstairs and left him there. DH said he would go up but I asked him to wait to see if M would give up. Of course he didn’t and was calling daddy for ages and in the end ended up crying. So DH went in stayed in the room until he fell asleep(5 mins).

So I guess I’m asking for ideas, story sharing , anything….What do I do to regain some respect at BT? It will be a nightmare if DH is not home. 

Thanks for reading and sorry about the length.
Logged

Offline sianie

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 101
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 4236
  • My little monkeys....
    • Location:
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2011, 20:56:51 pm »
Hey!  :)

It does sound like he's playing you up  ::)!

Does your DH do anything different to you when he's in his room? Perhaps you could both try doing BT together so that he can't play one of you off against the other?
Logged
Sian


Offline Khalam's Mama

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 123
  • Posts: 11335
    • Location: London
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2011, 23:52:53 pm »
Have you tried just not commenting on the fact he is standing up and just contuniing to sleep on the floor? I always find with DS if I try to lay him down when he is standing he gets mad or thinks it is a game. If I left him to it eventually it gets boring and he lays down and sleeps and quite soon lost interest in it all together.
Logged

Offline sianie

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 101
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 4236
  • My little monkeys....
    • Location:
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2011, 07:48:31 am »
Quote from: Khalam's Mama on August 03, 2011, 23:52:53 pm
Have you tried just not commenting on the fact he is standing up and just contuniing to sleep on the floor? I always find with DS if I try to lay him down when he is standing he gets mad or thinks it is a game. If I left him to it eventually it gets boring and he lays down and sleeps and quite soon lost interest in it all together.

Totally agree! I would bet the novelty would wear off pretty quickly if he was getting no response from you?
Logged
Sian


Offline Grants

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 16
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1596
  • Mr 'I know exactly what I want!'
    • Location: UK
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2011, 08:10:44 am »
Quote from: sianie on August 04, 2011, 07:48:31 am
Quote from: Khalam's Mama on Today at 12:52:53 AMHave you tried just not commenting on the fact he is standing up and just contuniing to sleep on the floor? I always find with DS if I try to lay him down when he is standing he gets mad or thinks it is a game. If I left him to it eventually it gets boring and he lays down and sleeps and quite soon lost interest in it all together.Totally agree! I would bet the novelty would wear off pretty quickly if he was getting no response from you?

Tried that one twice, to no avail  :( He is super persistent.  He scores off the charts for persistence. When I ignored he carries on chatting, jumping, trying to climb out of the cot to the point he gets so excited that makes it even harder to fall asleep afterwards, even with DH.  ::)

Quote from: sianie on August 03, 2011, 20:56:51 pm
Does your DH do anything different to you when he's in his room? Perhaps you could both try doing BT together so that he can't play one of you off against the other?

I do exactly like DH. I try to copy everything he does. It def works with both of us in the room. We have done that. But we have already compromised with one of us staying in the room and now we both have to stay?!?!  Plus it is so much better when one of us is doing it and the other is finishing off dinner etc… Another point is that I want to be able to do it by myself. What happens when DH is not home?

NWs, EWs, short nights and now BT shenanigans on top of it all!!!  ::)
Logged

Offline Khalam's Mama

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 123
  • Posts: 11335
    • Location: London
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2011, 09:28:41 am »
If you are getting all those issues maybe it is a routine issue. Maybe post his full easy so we can see if it could help by tweaking. Also you say you tried leaving him twice which i guess means you gave in before he did. Understandable but if you start then change when it takes too long it wont help. He has to lay down eventually. It Will be easier if routine is right though so we could look at that 1st. When my Ds did it he was ut. Do you think this could be am issue?
Logged

Offline Grants

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 16
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1596
  • Mr 'I know exactly what I want!'
    • Location: UK
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2011, 09:52:49 am »
His routine is ‘right’ for him atm. Unfortunately I’m a regular on this board and I have tried all the tweaks you can imagine . My most recent post about it is here if you would like to have a look. http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=211545.0

It is def a respect issue with the BT I’m afraid. :( I have no doubt about it. Trust me. This kid never gives up! Persistence and ‘distractibility’ it is his spirited strongest trait.   ::)

Logged

Offline Shiv52

  • The Diplomat
  • Global Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 585
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 25307
    • Location:
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2011, 10:21:17 am »
{{{hugs}}}

we used to have very similar issues!

I would stop calling DH at all.  If its your night, its your night.  DH used to call me and it ended up a disaster.   

How about telling that mummy/daddy will stay in the room but if there is any nonsense you will have to go because its sleepy time etc.  If he does stand up I would tell him once to lie down and remind him you will have to leave if he isn't listening.  If he continues I would move to the door and tell him he needs to lie down.  If he doesn't i wouldn't go back in until he does.  Yes you may have to wait him out for a bit but in the end I guess the choice he needs to make is to have someone in the room to lie down vs no one if he is messing about.  It took 2 nights here for DD1 to stop messing DH about.  He did bedtime for a week to make sure it stuck before I started again.   He is unfortunately getting to the stage where distraction at bedtime can make things go haywire and I know we had to take a firmer line on it as bedtimes started taking forever.   
Logged




Offline Grants

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 16
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1596
  • Mr 'I know exactly what I want!'
    • Location: UK
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #8 on: August 04, 2011, 10:33:39 am »
Great advice as usual Shiv :)  I will def try this tonight. So did you do it with both of you in the room on the first evening or your DH did it by himself? If we are both in the room he won’t stand up at all. The problem is not that he stands up and doesn’t want to lie down. He will lie down as soon as I tell him to. The game is that as soon as I lay on the floor he will get up again.  ::)
Logged

Offline Shiv52

  • The Diplomat
  • Global Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 585
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 25307
    • Location:
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #9 on: August 04, 2011, 10:47:53 am »
DH did it by himself because if I was there or if I did bedtime she was fine.  It was only if DH did it by himself that there was nonsense so we felt it was for him to establish the rules with her so she knew he wasn't going to be calling me anymore. 

So if he will lay back down maybe give him one chance with you telling him with the reminder 'and if you stand up again M, mummy will have to leave, sleepy times means we stay lying down'  and if he does get up again just get up and leave with 'mummy will come back when you lie down' and say nothing more.  I don't think after that you need to say that every time you leave as that could become a game.  He knows what he has to do.  And i think he'd rather you are in the room than not which you are being more than fair with so he needs to compromise a bit too!  Wee rascal.  I can't stand bedtime shenanagins...its when i am at my tiredest and just want them to go to flipping sleep so i can relax. 
Logged




Offline Grants

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 16
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1596
  • Mr 'I know exactly what I want!'
    • Location: UK
Re: DS is taking the mick at BT
« Reply #10 on: August 04, 2011, 18:22:37 pm »
DH is doing BT today. I didn't feel like doing it lol :P I will do it tomorrow and will let you know how it goes. I hope it works :) Fingers crossed!
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »