19mo bedtime getting more difficult everyday

[fairy]

My DD is 19 mo. She has never been a good sleeper. So sleeping in her bed, on her own was a dream for us. She slept in my arms, in 15 minutes, slowly rocking until 16 mo. (Please don't look down on us, I have tried a lot!!!) I never tried CIO. However, she responded very well to her EASY routine. Except for illness etc, A times, bedtimes, sleeping routines were all for her.

At 18 mo, we transferred her to big bed. I started to put her in bed, lie next to her, read book, turn off the light, sing a song or tell a story, and she's asleep in 20-25 minutes. About 2 weeks ago, she started to extend the bedtime routine, getting cranky, asking for million things like water, crackers, looking out of the window, to be held and to be walked while held in my arms... I resisted not to hold her and walk, we looked out of the window, to the moon, told her it is sleeptime, there is no going out of the room but she got more and more cranky. This bed time extended more and more everyday. This week 8:30 in bed, 9:00 asleep has become 9:00 in bed, out of bed, in my arms, walking, talking and not asleep until 11:00.

Of course both my husband and I get impatient throughout this process, she feels this, we try to stay calm, to not to be stubborn on her, I know her stubborn character. What is going on? What has happened to my systematic baby? Sleeping at 11:00 is not normal, other than leaving us no time to rest. Please help me.
Here is her daily routine:
7:30 awake
8:15 breakfast
A time
11:00-11:30 nap (2-2,5 hrs)
14:00 lunch
A time
18:00 dinner
19:00 mommy and daddy time (we are full time working parents)
20:30 bedtime routine and you know the rest of the story.

A footnote; this bedtime issue started parallel to her new behaviors which give me the signals of terrible two. She can cry on anything, even when I do what she wants. Is this relevant?

Thanks to all reading, helping!

[sianie]

Hi there...

It can be quite common for LO's sleep to regress at around 18 mths & this tends to do due to developmental milestones being reached/ teething/ change in sleep needs etc.

Looking at your routine it looks like she's got into a bit of an UT/OT loop i.e. she probably needed a routine tweak which started the BT resistance & has now got OT from the shorter nights if that makes sense?

Her A-time before bed is also quite long at 6.5hrs (even if she went down at 8.30pm), I would consider pushing the nap back towards midday then cap nap at 2hrs & do BT earlier at 7.30pm.

HTH?

[fairy]

Hi Sianie,
Thank you for your reply.
It's relieving to hear that this is a common thing, I have been going all over the sleep regression thread for the last couple of days. I thought it was mostly about naps, not the BT.

I agree that the A time after the nap before the BT is too long. I tried to push back the nap time however, it worked for nothing but also pushing BT later and later. So I gave up.

I don't want to get back to holding/rocking her to sleep. However, I understand that resisting to her demand to be held/rock only makes her angry and keeps her from falling asleep, causing OT. All I could think of is to put her in her stroller and go for a walk every night at about 9:00pm where she ends up asleep in 30 minutes. I have been trying this for the last 3 days, thinking that at least she can sleep earlier, but I'm not sure if I'm on my way for another accidental parenting...

[sianie]

All I could think of is to put her in her stroller and go for a walk every night at about 9:00pm where she ends up asleep in 30 minutes. I have been trying this for the last 3 days, thinking that at least she can sleep earlier, but I'm not sure if I'm on my way for another accidental parenting...

Yes this could well become a prop....

A lot of LO's resist BT when they are OT, they just can't switch off....I would stick with an early BT for a few days as 9pm is really late & means her nights are short too, hence the OT loop. I would aim for BT at 7.30pm & do a longer wind-down so that she's much more likely to settle, it might take a few days to get things back on track but if you are consistent & stick to it then she should start settling quicker.

You could also use WI/WO or GW to help her to settle independently...will find the link for you....

[sianie]

Here you go.....

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

[fairy]

thanks for the support and advice.
i agree that 9:30 is too late for BT. In the past I have tried many times to make it 8:30 at least. She resisted sleeping until her actual BT. I will try again, maybe I should be more determined and try for a week or more.
 
Gradual Withdrawal Method is another thing I want to try, actually it is why I started putting her to big bed. She slept in my arms in big bed for the first days, and in time she started sleeping holding her pillow with me sitting in bed. I was hoping to transfer to a chair next to her bed until the regression ruined the system.

So I should stop walking her to sleep in her stroller? (I was kind of happy that 1,5 hrs BT is getting back to me as exercise time

[sianie]

I think even 8.30pm is too late hence the taking ages to settle.

I do think that you need to try to break the walking her to sleep in her stroller habit (although I totally understand why you've resorted to it!), I think GW would be good for you to use to help to teach her to sleep independently (although it make take a few days & will be tough to start with).

Keep me posted!